When you exist in a world of comic books, you sometimes find that the greatest threats to your existence are inexorably tied to your own existence. Superboy inadvertently created the wedge between himself and Lex Luthor. If not for an unfortunate chemical bath, the Joker may not have even cared about Batman... or becoming a mass murderer. Victor Von Doom... if he had just heeded Reed Richards' advice, would probably be a smooth-faced "mack daddy" monarch of Latveria. But those are the world dominators. The beings that, because of a tragedy in their lives, seek to inflict their personal pain upon a humanity they see as being complicit in their fates. The villainess I speak of, today, was affected by the actions of a budding superhero... but unlike the other examples of evil I quoted above, her main mission in life is to make things as DIFFICULT as possible for our hero in more subtle and insidious ways. Who is this sinister architect? This dastardly damsel?
None other than Peter Parker's "caretaker", May Parker.
Sure, you may scoff at me, saying, "She's just an elderly lady, Mikey. She's annoying at best... and downright disgusting if you were ever unfortunate enough to read Mark Millar's "Trouble" mini-series, but Aunt May is HARDLY worthy of being mentioned as a masterful rogue in Spidey's gallery." Today's entry is out to illustrate to you the truly devious nature of a seemingly innocent "silver fox".
One example being that she seems DEAD-SET on messing with Peter Parker's personal life. Take this example, where for ONCE in his early Lee/Ditko existence, Peter Parker had budding romance options between Betty Brant... secretary of J. Jonah Jameson..., and Liz Allan... fellow classmate who once shunned the "professional wallflower", but finally noticed an attraction to Parker's general nature. Pretty sweet set-up, right? Who WOULDN'T want to... because of our own actions... be in the position to choose between two lovely women for our attentions? Well, Aunt May just isn't satisfied with EITHER option, so through those early years, she begins a campaign to insinuate the then-unseen Mary Jane Watson into Peter's life. Granted... regardless of what Joe Quesada will tell you... things worked out for the best for Mary Jane and Peter, but did Aunt May give Peter a choice in that affair? Nope, she had to dig in her corpse-like claws into Peter's personal affairs to arrange his romantic life to her personal benefit.
Another example is she nearly married one of Spider-Man's most deadly villains! Oh sure, you could say that May was suckered by a cunning ploy by Doctor Octopus, in order to use her home as part of a nuclear material gambit. (Yeah... go figure.) But theirs was NOT an abusive relationship, nor did... aside of some smooth talking... Otto Octavius give us any indication this was a threatening situation to May. This leads me to believe that maybe she WANTED a union with one of Spidey's largest threats. Maybe she saw the potential in uniting with a man that beat Peter Parker to a pulp in many of their confrontations, and gained some sick thrills with such a connection!
And speaking of her enmity towards Spider-Man, we are brought to our next example; inadvertently seeking to cause Peter Parker's downfall by stress. Think about all the times she's railed and rallied against his noble efforts as Spider-Man, because she willingly buys into the lines that JJJ delivers to the news media. How would you feel if a family member decided to hate you just because of your own noble decisions, all due to their gullibility? No WONDER Peter Parker was such an emotional wreck for most of his existence. Couple his sense of guilt over the death of his delightful Uncle Ben with the increasing pressures on his lifestyle choice by the shrewish Aunt May, and you have one person MAYBE more stressed than I have been, lately. (The only times I feel Peter and I see eye-to-eye are in the financial and job department. And heck, Peter Parker had more of an employment standing that I currently do!)
One other example I forgot to pull a picture for is that Aunt May has blatant disregard for the laws of the land. In one key storyline, May was part of a community group called the "Gray Panthers", which was campaigning for enhanced rights and benefits for the elderly. During a rally, she PUBLICLY ASSAULTED a police officer! Peter Parker may be wanted by the law for his vigilante-based activity, but he has generally never laid a direct physical finger on the police. Whereas May Parker is walloping street cops over the head with protest signs. ... Sweet and innocent lady, my rear end...
My final example for today's blog is... Aunt May Parker is so sinister, not even Death wants her in the afterlife. Spider-Man has existed for 50-plus years, and in those 50-plus years, I'm almost willing to bet Aunt May had at least one heart attack for one of those single years. Yet May seems to have found a way to cheat the Grim Reaper for every brush with fatality. You could argue that science, and "good nature", have preserved her life. And she was supposedly dead... FOR GOOD... in the 90's. Then we were "treated" to the reveal that the deceased we assumed to be Aunt May was, in reality, just an actress to masquerade as the kidnapped genuine article. We came oh-so-close to another May fatality in the "Civil War" period of the Marvel Universe, but alas... Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson sacrificed their relationship to the DEVIL to save May's life. I prefer to choose that even Mephisto, facing the option that for all of May's misdeeds in life, he'd be stuck with HER in Hell for all eternity, was itching to figure out a way to keep May in existence. Just because you rule in Hell doesn't mean you have to LIVE in Hell, and that's just what Mephisto would be in for if he allowed May Parker into the infernal kingdom.
Now May Parker does deserve SOME kindness... but those kindness options seem to come from outside of the proper "616" Marvel Universe version of the character. For example, the Aunt May of the "Ultimate" Marvel Universe is a capable woman who SUPPORTED her nephew in his decision of being Spider-Man, once she sussed out his secret life. (Whereas in our general Marvel Universe, May once disowned Peter for even so minor of a decision as leaving school for a while!) And Sally Fields' interpretation of May Parker for the current "Amazing Spider-Man" film franchise is the kind of Aunt May we would want in our lives. So, all you have to do is pluck from alternative dimensions to find the kindly Aunt May we would want to exist in Peter Parker's life. However, we're not granted that kindness, so throughout Spidey's history, the dark shadow of villainy was not just a factor to come from outside criminal sources. No... It came from the woman that defied Death to make Peter Parker's life as trial-some as possible, and it was kept strictly in the family!
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