I suppose today's entry could ALSO have counted as a traditional FFF blog, but I say that the majority of my subjects are coming from a place of genuine appreciation... with three diversions into particular silliness, so it averages out to be a "regular" blog entry. How do I chase up a FFF entry about a comic book woman that had a LONG stretch ticket on the "Crazy Train"? Well, why not briefly discuss some iconic... and three notorious... methods of transportation for some iconic comic book characters? (And believe me, I DID try to dredge up my memory to add to the "silly" column with some Image Comics vehicles. But for the most part, I remember their teams only having generic high-tech-ish jets and stuff. And sadly, I CANNOT count the various cars that were made for the "Spawn" toy lines, because as far as I know, NONE of them made any comic appearances. ... Which is a shame, because what I wouldn't have given for a story that featured Spawn and the Violator in a mad dragster street challenge. "The Fast and the Furious" couldn't hold even a SPARKLER to that idea!)
THE BATMOBILE- What began as a simple red "car" in "Detective Comics #27"... which coincidentally also gave birth to the Man behind the Mobile... evolved many times during the 75 years of the character's existence. But no matter what medium the Batman exists in... television, cartoon, movie, video game, probably on that Prince album... the Batmobile has been a CONSTANT. I'd dare say that it may be the MOST iconic vehicle in Batman's crime fighting history. People forget that the Batplane/Batwing wasn't the FIRST flying vehicle the Gotham Knight possessed. It was actually more of a VTOL-helicopter hybrid. And forget about any Batboats, because that came actually LATER than any flight equipment. The key to the Batmobile's appeal, in any version, is it's an arsenal on wheels. Any extra piece of equipment that Batman can think of installing into the Mobile, there it shall be! In the Batman's long history, it can be a chore to try and whittle down favorites and least-favorites of the Batmobile, but I can at least offer up my personal preferences:
- Favorites: The 1970's "sleek" comics Batmobile, the first Tim Burton film Batmobile, the "Animated Series" Batmobile, and while it's over the top, I find the "Dark Knight Returns" Batmobile to be a fun take on the concept.
- Not-so-Favorites: It's easy for me to narrow this field down. If it's a Batmobile with NO roof on top for coverage, I really tend to dislike it, because it just comes off as "ridiculous" to imagine Batman and Robin racing the Gotham streets at TOP SPEED with no wind resistance. Plus, no one can make me even remotely "like" the Christopher Nolan "Batmobile". It just makes me think of a cyborg Hummer, with no style.
INVISIBLE PLANE- "Sensation Comics #1" saw this bad lass roll off the airfield to aid Wonder Woman in her pursuit of justice in Man's World. It may not be as gimmicked or as "surprise"-filled as the Batmobile, and some could argue that the concept of owning an invisible ANYTHING is ridiculous, but to me, the Invisible Plane goes with Wonder Woman just as much as the Batmobile belongs to Batman. But Princess Diana has ONE vehicular advantage over Bruce Wayne; her jet can be psychically commanded by Wonder Woman! Just imagine that, on a night you're feeling too tired to drive your car into the garage for some security, you just think it... and it's already driving ITSELF into storage! Who can't envy that? And also, like Batman's "auto", Wonder Woman's Invisible Plane has made the crossover to virtually every media appearance she has been featured in. Heck, they even crafted a Wonder Woman prop DOLL to fly a cute lil' Invisible Plane for the Lynda Carter television series!
THE FANTASTICAR- Marvel's "First Family" is still the ONE team that, for over 50 years, has maintained the same mode of transportation. Sure, they have been different VERSIONS of the Fantasticar, but it has been in various forms of existence since "Fantastic Four #3". Probably the two most famous versions have been the first model, which was affectionately known as the "Flying Bathtub", and the more streamlined model we see in the above illustration. What I find the most interesting aspect of the vehicle is, aside from possessing astounding VTOL and speed capabilities, and the ability to split its sections off into FOUR separate scout vehicles, IT HAS NO WEAPONRY. But I guess if you're flying with people like Sue Richards, Johnny Storm, and Ben Grimm, you haven't much to worry about in the great blue yonder. (And Reed Richards can serve as a great parachute for emergency landings... Right?)
We've talked about the genuine affections. Now let's talk about some of vehicles that have INFECTED the comic book world.
THE ARROWCAR- I know Oliver Queen is the darling of the CW Network, with his "Arrow" series. And while I agree with a friend that the "New 52" Green Arrow has been less-than-stellar, I still have the classic "goatee" Ollie Queen to think back fondly upon. But before 60's relevancy caught up with Star City's crusader for the common man... I have to be honest, Green Arrow spent his time from the 40's to the early 60's as a bowslinging Batman knock-off. Not just because he had his own kid-sidekick in Speedy/Roy Harper, but because he had the SAME EXACT EQUIPMENT. Arrowcave? Oh yes... Arrowplane? Heck, Bruce won't mind if we "homage" a few of his ideas... And most aggrievedly... an ARROWCAR. Just the Batmobile with a yellow coat of paint, and an arrow-shaped chassis. Yes, kids, there was once a time where Green Arrow was so dull of a character, he had to swipe ideas whole-cloth from the Dark Knight Detective. As far as I can tell, I'm thankful that didn't extend to an Arrowhound. (Though a dachshund would've filled that spot, nicely. WHAT?!? They're kinda pointed and "arrow-shaped"!)
SPIDER-MOBILE- At least from the VERY beginning, this vehicle was meant to be played as a joke in the comics. First appearing in "Amazing Spider-Man #130", this was meant to be a "gift" from the Corona Motors company, as a cross-promotional advertising gimmick. (Which was what it was also meant to be in our very own "Earth Prime", because if memory serves me right, Mego Toys wanted to advertise the vehicle as part of their superhero-based figure line. Which will sound AWFULLY familiar in our next entry...) Of course, what with Peter Parker having WEB SLINGERS THAT CAN TRANSPORT HIM THROUGHOUT THE CITY WITHOUT TRAFFIC ISSUES... this vehicle made PERFECT "practical sense". But to its credit, after some modifications, it was able to shoot its own webbing, and project its own "Spider-Signal". When the villainous Tinkerer got his mitts on the vehicle, later on, he further modified it to be able to drive up walls. Two key appearances, and two separate fates for the vehicle. They proceed as follows:
- In it's first appearance, the Corona Motors company didn't realize Peter Parker doesn't have a driver's license, since he never learned to drive a car. So... yeah, combine that knowledge WITH a car?
- The Tinkerer's manipulation of the vehicle meant that Spider-Man had to WRECK the Spider-Mobile, because it was being used as a weapon.
Either way, I'm sure not many people were shedding tears over the loss of this monstrosity. Last, but not least, a vehicle of a similar vein...
SUPER-MOBILE- Corgi Toys had themselves a sweet deal. They managed to snag the rights to produce toy vehicles for the "Superman" license in the same year that Superman was going to see the BIG SCREEN with the Richard Donner feature film. That year, ole' Clark Kent was on top of the merchandising world. But the initial problem that Corgi Toys had was, you could produce multiple generic Daily Planet delivery vans, Metropolis police cars, and Daily Planet helicopters, but how do you REALLY represent Superman in terms of a vehicle? Silly question, good person... You brainstorm with a committee, and decide that a vehicle that ROUGHLY resembles a sperm cell, with FISTS on the sides, is PERFECT transportation for the Man of Steel. I admire the cheesiness of this vehicle, but think about it; WHY DOES SUPERMAN NEED A FLYING CAR?!? At this time of his creative career, Clark could fly to outer space in the blink of an eye on his own general flight powers. Ah... But THANKFULLY a four-issue arc beginning in "Action Comics #481" decided to illuminate to we blind masses. A wave of red sun radiation from Krypton's explosion finally reaches our galaxy's orbit... along with Earth... and as the wave passes by, it manages to activate the One-Robot-Justice-League, Amazo, and also leaves Superman POWERLESS! Which leads him to create, and unveil, the Super-Mobile. Effectively it contains equipment to replicate his every power. Lasers for heat vision, a freeze ray for his freeze breath... and... er... fists for his super-strength. I guess if it had a CB radio, that could have served as a surrogate for the ridiculous "Super Ventriloquism".
Man, all of these vehicles drive me CRAZY in one way or another! Hopefully you enjoyed the... ahem... "ride". (I just HAD to say it!)
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