It's sometimes unusual how coincidence ties into your life. I was toying with the subject of today's blog about two or so weeks ago, and this past week has been a whirlwind about Marvel's flagship team of current times, the Avengers. I won't dive too far into my thoughts about such developments, but let's just drop them for currency sake.
- Thor will be a woman. Eh, as long as it results in solid stories, I've no complaints.
- Sam Wilson, AKA The Falcon, will become Captain America. Again, as long as it results in solid stories, I've no complaints. I will say this makes more historical sense, for continuity, than the Thor change.
- "The Avengers: Age of Ultron" scores an Entertainment Weekly cover, and I've REALLY no complaints. I am curious as to how Robert Downey Jr. will return as Iron Man, because I thought he essentially wrapped that up in "Iron Man 3", and Ultron itself looks FANTASTIC. Next year is going to be a killer time with the Avengers.
But for all of the stellar history, and participants, of "Earth's Mightiest Heroes", there are some individuals I've noticed throughout the years of the Avengers' roster that made me scratch my head. Maybe they were pity votes into the team? Maybe it was that momentary flash in the pan first impression that had Jarvis open the door? Or maybe it was sheer bribery. I don't expect you, my appreciated readers, to agree with EVERY one of my choices, but these are some of the Avengers members that made me go... "Er... WHAT?!?".
Starfox, AKA Eros: Son of Mentor of Titan, brother to Thanos... and guy who possessed horrid fashion sense and a Flock of Seagulls haircut. See that picture? Even Hawkeye and Captain Marvel agree this was a rather off move! Starfox possesses generally rather generic powers, such as flight, super strength, and a healing factor. MY reasoning as to why such a rather jerk-ish character made the Avengers ranks is his unique ability to psychically control other people's emotions. And I remember him using these powers... a LOT... on members of the opposite sex. So great job, Avengers, letting the sexually abusive employee take up the spotlight.
Mantis: It's odd that Mantis finds her way onto the list, because I feel like I'm in the minority of people that enjoyed the "Celestial Madonna" story arc. But just because I enjoy an arc does NOT mean I can appreciate the character that it focused on... let alone her being included in the ranks of such luminaries like Iron Man and Thor. Okay... Mantis starts life being taken from Vietnam by the Kree, who believe she's the Celestial Madonna, and until her adulthood, train her to be all cosmic super powery, with SPACE MARTIAL ARTS EDUCATION. But even the Kree, as misguided a Marvel alien race as they are, decide to toss this abrasive beauty back to Earth after a mind-wipe so she can learn about life. (I also call it getting the psycho out of YOUR life for a little while.) She manages to become a part of Vietnam's...er... "pleasure industry", before happening upon the Avengers. Now granted her attitude wasn't as extremely confrontational as Moondragon's, but she wasn't the most likeable addition to the team. ... Unless you were the next entrant of today's listing.
Swordsman, AKA Jacques Duquesne: Just look at that smug git, saying "I made the Avengers, fell in love with a hot but temperamental Vietnamese/Kree space goddess... and you didn't." And he started off his career for a LONG stretch as an Avengers nemesis! He BATTLED the very team he was later admitted to! In fact, he joined the Avengers TWICE! Once was when he thought he could milk his connections to Cliff Barton, AKA Hawkeye... whom was trained under Jacques, to join a team that would offer him better financial security than just being a villain. But that wasn't the makings of a solid union, so he quit for another extended spell of the life of crime. It wasn't until both he and the Avengers ran into Mantis that he turned to the side of the angels once more. I've always found it odd that a man who was an expert in a melee weapon like a sword could train an expert ARCHER, but I suppose it can make comic book sense. What is the greater mystery is if you were an employer, and you had a position-seeker who has not only talked trash about your organization... and apparently FOUGHT your employees, would you later HIRE them because they "made nice"? Not exactly the best move at this time, team...
Two-Gun Kid, AKA Matt Hawk: Understand, I've nothing against Marvel's Western characters. And I've no real issues with the Two-Gun Kid. So he's not abrasive, nor unlikable in the least. But why is he included in my listing of questionable Avengers? Simple: He originally showed up as part of a time-travel adventure involving other Western heroes, and was brought back to the present with Hawkeye. I should also mention this adventure involved Kang the Conqueror... who nearly always gives me a headache whenever he's involved in a story. And to me, time-displaced heroes should NOT be given a pass to join a major superhero team! In a way, it's a bit like the Butterfly Effect, in that you alter one element of the past, and it irrevocably changes the future. Only you're taking an element of the past, THRUSTING him into the future, and having him join a modern-day team. ... I'm sorry, but when a team is formed, I want to see the best of their CURRENT heroes in action, not for people to cherry-pick characters from the past in time-travel adventures to become members. What's next. Sgt. Rock being elected as a member of the Justice League of America?
Sersi: Unlike my having no issues with Marvel's Western characters, this entry is actually a HUGE issue for me. I just don't like the Eternals. I tried reading Jack Kirby's original series, and felt that while it had interesting ideas, the characters were rather bland and the story lacked positive momentum. And one of the members of Marvel's rather forgettable demi-gods that irritated me the most was Sersi. Aside from the standard package powers of flight, strength... et al., she possesses molecular manipulation powers, which was the ONE reason why Captain America opened the door for Avengers membership for her. Aside from that, Sersi just served to be the team "flirt". The time I really knew the character was when she had this truly bizarre life-altering bond with Black Knight... and even with that, she STILL tried to get into the pants of other heroes, knowing that this bond was a life-or-death connection. And yes... as evidenced by my mention of Starfox from earlier, I don't excuse this behavior from male team members, as well. Jeez! Keep it in your pants for the job, Avengers!
Last, but FAR from least, my hottest contested member of the Avengers:
Doctor Druid: So... Ancient One... aren't you glad Steven Strange worked out for the best, after all? Otherwise, we'd be calling Anthony Druid "Sorcerer Supreme". Yes, even from the beginning he was just a "second best" option for mystical training. And how do you reward second-stringers who wear red jammies, sport ridiculous hair styles, and cop an inferiority/superiority complex that would make Red Tornado feel downright humble? YOU. MAKE. HIM. AN. AVENGER. *Face palm* I've never liked Dr. Druid. Never. I mentioned a seed of appreciation and interest in the Eternals, and I guess by proxy... since he IS one of them... Eros gets a slight pass on that seed. But Dr. Druid, for as long as I've known the character, has been antagonistic, egotistical... and with no good REASON! He's about as effective in his mystic prowess as a man in a cold shower is... um... getting excited. They TRIED to make him a more serious character after his being possessed by evil influences for the umpteenth time earned him an Avengers rejection, but I certainly didn't care enough to follow his career trajectory after that point. Boo on you, Mr. Druid. Boo, indeed.
I believe that concludes my general list of Avengers that rubbed me the wrong way for today's goofiness. But don't worry, because another company gets some solid criticism for some family elements for tomorrow's entry! A certain "Marvelous" family... Hmm...
No comments:
Post a Comment