Friday "Funnies" Foolishness

Believe it or not, I do have definitive plans for this blog.  I even detailed them out to myself while sweating it out for an interview, this morning.  (It was a combo of nerves, and holding in a pee break, in case I wasn't in the waiting space for my name to be called.)  And one element I REALLY want to hold myself to on a consistently weekly basis is the "Friday 'Funnies' Foolishness".  It's a post day where I just want to take the mick out of an issue, a concept, or a character.  It could be taken as "comic nerd snarkiness", but I want every Friday to be about a concept in comics that I find good-naturedly ridiculous, and wish to expand upon it.  For my very first entry, I actually want to dedicate it to my good friend from the Gentleman's Guide to Midnight Comics Facebook group, Chris.  (I know he has his given name for the FB profile, but since this is a public blog, I do want to respect his privacy.  Besides, once he knows what the topic of this blog will be, he'll know EXACTLY who he is...  Heh!)  Chris has been a solid supporter of both my podcasting efforts in Action Attraction and in the briefly lived GGTMComics podcast.  (Both just on hiatus until I can actively afford Libsyn fees, again!) 

The genesis of today's post came up when Chris was a guest on the GGTMComics podcast.  I believe it was for his top-5 characters listing whereupon myself, and my fellow guests, were legitimately surprised by one particular nomination.  This then proceeded to much in-between joking about one somewhat... silly accessory certain characters had in the "grim 'n' gritty" 90's comics: metal arms.  If it wasn't insanely huge shoulder pads, or pouches on your costume where you could store your bullets, gas pellets, toenail clippings, stool samples... etc, you had to sport at least one metal arm to show how truly TOUGH and BAD you really were!  You also had to grimace a lot, because dudes with metal arms NEVER SMILE.  So, in tribute to Chris, I want to present to you my Top 5 Characters with Metal Arms list!

5. Cybrid

He only made a HANDFUL of appearances in Rob Liefeld's books.  I mean literally, you could probably count on one hand all of his appearances.  But my introduction to Cybrid was in "Extreme Comics #0".  I kinda remember the story dealing with him fighting ninjas... as you are want to do in a Liefeld story.  But while he's on the lower tier of the list, it's not due to metal arm mastery.  He did sport two metal arms that not only could sprout guns, but ALSO had a Dhalsem stretchy ability!  Not bad for a guy who didn't appear all that much!

4. Kane

AKA The other character from the Canadian Weapon X program that wasn't Deadpool or Wolverine, and that probably only a handful of people even know this character, and probably 2 of those people are MASSIVE fans of him.  (Hey, he at LEAST had 2 action figures put out by Toy Biz!)  I hold him actually closer to a window of time in the X-Force book, but I do remember he figured somewhat regularly in Cable.  So what was he able to do with his magic extensions?  Well, his metal arms could spring helicopter-ish blades at the wrists to create a nasty cutting weapon.  I believe he also had some form of blasters hidden in his arm.  BUT, in his first appearance in "X-Force #2", battling against Deadpool, he was given his best-known metal arm feature; being able to launch his fists like a Japanese giant robot.  ... Yeah, I'm sure the Shogun Warriors are still nervous about Kane overtaking their place in pop culture...

3. Stryker

You didn't expect this list to be ALL Liefeld-based, did you?  These next two entries do showcase that other creators from the 90's did subscribe to the theory that metal arms made the MAN!  Case in point: Mark Silvestri's leader of both Cyberforce and Code Name: Stryke Force, Stryker!  I did place him squarely in the middle, because admittedly his metal arms didn't have any special features.  At least as far as I remember in my reading of those books.  (Top Cow comics never really were on the top of my reading priorities, anyways.)  BUT, what he might lack in quality, he made up for in QUANTITY.  Check it out: 3... count them... T-H-R-E-E metal arms on the right side of his body.  Nobody else on the list went so off-kilter as to say they not only needed multiple metal arms, but they all needed to be on one side of his body!  As I recall, Stryker was also a solid shot with all... four... of his arms.

2. Super-Patriot

I admit I did place this Erik Larsen creation above Stryker mostly for favoritism reasons.  Larsen's "Savage Dragon" universe had a LOT of really interesting characters, and it was a title I followed for years.  But Super-Patriot gets a fairly solid lead in the listing, due to his interesting backstory, his general longevity in the Highbrow universe.  (Not only did he put in guest shots for Savage Dragon, he also had his own mini-series, appeared in the team book Freak Force, AND I even remember him guesting in a 3 issue arc in "Youngblood: Strike Files".  ... Guess I can't even escape Liefeld with this entry.)  Not only does Super-Patriot sport the twin metal arms, which also change into a multitude of firearm attachments, they also had telescopic properties.  As if that wasn't enough, dude had METAL LEGS.  That could ALSO extend and create weapons.  If you can't just be happy with metal arms, may as well go with the entire appendage package...

1. Cable

Is he as flashy as the earlier entrants?  Maybe not.  But without Cable, we wouldn't have characters sporting metal limbs... PERIOD.  That bouncing baby boy of Scott Summers and Jean Grey had to come back through time, and pick up a techno-organic virus to show us fashion-lacking people just how great a metal arm can really accentuate your look.  I also recall his metal arm could be a handy storage space for supplies, and it could interface with technology, if need be!  Plus, just being the first major character to really make metal limbs something of a desired feature EARNS you the right to be the top of the list!

Jack-Off Of All Trades

Welcome to my first posting that doesn't detail a nebulous/philosophical rambling about general comic book matters!  Nope, today I just want to start off a semi-regular series detailing trade paperbacks of personal favoritism that I want to recommend to you lovely readers!  And what better way to start than by bringing on the bad guys...

... Well, you have to admit she COULD be pretty sinister...  Okay, let's get serious, and less b-a-n-a-n-a-s.  (Great, now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head all day.  Thanks, brain, for trying to be funny...)

I'm a hearty advocate of the Marvel Essentials line.  I could turn this entry into a rant about how it's utter crap that Marvel is phasing the program out for the much more pricey "Saga" line.  So if you people know what's good for you, grab as many Essentials as your heart desires while they still exist!  Now, if you remember the GGTMComics podcast I put out last year, you already know my general love for the character of Victor Von Doom... doctorate.  He is, by far, the most iconic Marvel villain in existence.  Tragic past, mixed sense of nobility with revenge, and mastery of science and magic... and an AWESOME suit of armor:

Combine that with the first Marvel anti-hero, Prince Namor the Sub-Mariner.  Lord of the Seven Seas.  The Avenging Son.  Coveter of Reed Richard's wife!  (And wearer of funky-fresh black armor with yellow fin-wings!)

Obviously the characters had their pairings as early as Fantastic Four #6, but Super Villain Team-Up forced the two opposing opinions together again for a series of adventures in seeking mutual conquest and domination over humanity.  With some side trips into vengeance-seeking... and the introduction of the Shroud.  (Yeah, that one's a bit of a wet noodle for me.  I've tended to be iffy about the Marvel characters that feel like HUGE bites off of Batman.  And the Shroud also has the nerve to rip off Daredevil, too!) 

But the best thing about this Essential volume is not only do you have a solid collection of ALL of the SVTU issues, along with the two Giant-Size specials, you also have 10 issues of the Doctor Doom solo feature in "Astonishing Tales", AND a huge story that crosses over into two "Avengers" issues, and one issue of "The Champions"!  Plus it's not just strictly Doctor Doom/Namor pairings.  You also get to see Doctor Doom square off against the Master of Magnetism, Magneto:

You also get Victor jawing with that Ratzi scum, Red Skull:

... Who, in turn, gets to have a supreme Nazi showdown against the Hate-Monger!  All this for less than twenty bucks, cover price?  This is, by far, one of my absolute favorite Essential volumes, and I cannot recommend it enough to people that just have no access to the original series.  I'm also fairly certain that if you know where to look, you can find a used copy of this book for so dirt-cheap, you could probably buy two cups of froofy coffee for that bargain! 

When Worlds Collide

Today's blog is all about comic-dom's greatest rivalry: Which is the more "superior" universe, Marvel or DC?  I would say this is a tale as old as time, but that's only just left me with a musical number from Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" rattling through my ears.  Essentially Marvel, or "Timely", was in existence not long after DC, or "National Periodicals", launched.  One could give the edge to DC for having even brought the concept of the comic book "super-hero" to life.  One could also give the edge to Marvel for making the "super-hero" more down to Earth and identifiable.  I tend to try and view both main universes for their own main successes... and failings.  No one is certainly more "perfect" than the other, but I do tend to side with one particular universe.  But before I reach that conclusion, let's discuss the pros and cons of each universe in their own arguments.  We begin with dat ole' Detective Comics, itself.

I'll tackle this on a point-by-point basis that I fairly meticulously outlined at a Tim Horton's today.  (In the middle of handling two calls detailing employment opportunities, along with witnessing a HELL of a storm front blowing through the Grand Rapids area.  Seriously, day into night, peeps!)

PROS:
1. The universe has a legitimate "grand mythology" sense.  Even after umpteen reboots to their universe, their characters never seem to feel like they've lost any of their majesty after nearly 70+ years of existence for some of them. 

2. Speaking of reboots... When they DO arrive, the changes... while sometimes softballed... are taken into account.  It rarely feels like an element is left unchanged.

3. I'd go so far as to say the DC universe holds the most iconic characters in the world.  Anywhere in the globe, you can sport a Superman "S" shield, a Batman design, or even the twin "W's" of Wonder Woman, and people will know just who you're repping on your clothing.

4. I'd also say that DC has certainly jumped the mass-media gun a LOT earlier than Marvel.  Radio, television, films, probably video games... DC knew that its bread had to be buttered in other arenas.

CONS:
1. Like with all mythology, sometimes our "gods" can be outright jerks.  Sometimes that long-lasting DC mythology can create either very forgettable runs, or... sour grapes on my end... downright insulting and irritating runs.  I'm looking at you, New 52...

2. Speaking of reboots, DC can sometimes come off like the irritated video gamer, when it comes to their universe.  If they aren't seeing the benefit of the current run... BAM!  Time for another reboot event!  The first "Crisis"?  Okay, that was a very special event.  "Zero Hour"?  A bit underwhelming, but still entertaining.  "Infinite Crisis"? Eh... not as special as the first "Crisis", but it's what got me back into the universe.  "Final Crisis"?  Er... What?  "Flashpoint"?  Hello to the reason why I stopped regular purchases of DC books.

3. Iconography can only go so far if their characters remain true to themselves.  And characters can either have the highs of highs... or the lowest of lows.  Can you still feel my glare, New 52?

4. The media presence I mentioned?  I'd say it's becoming a bit more varied, but for the longest time, DC may as well have called their media wing "Batman Productions... and some other guys".  They tend to try picking out their most successful element, and run it ragged.  In a way, while I'm sure I'll still enjoy "Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice" when it arrives, there's still a niggling sensation that I would have rather received an actual "Superman" sequel before throwing Batman into the mix... because everyone's all about Batman...

Now time to journey with me to the "real world".  ... Or at least as real as it gets for the Mighty Marvel Universe!

PROS:
1. What initially made Marvel stand separate from the pack was how their heroes felt like average people in their daily lives.  Peter Parker struggles to make ends meet.  Bruce Banner has anger issues.  Tony Stark... um... is really rich.  Isn't that TERRIBLE?!?  But again, they face the same problems we, as readers, can identify with.

2. ... And when problems flare up, the Marvel characters did something truly revolutionary before DC did: have their characters square off.   Try having Batman and Green Lantern square off in the 60's.  Would never have happened.  But Iron Man and Captain America duking it out?  Happened in the very first appearance of Steve Rogers back into the Silver Age of comics.  Without Marvel, we would've never had the concept of tensions erupting between characters, giving us readers a fun debate issue over which character could beat which character.

3. Marvel... even with their current "Now" program... has not undergone a hard reboot.  I would even say that "Heroes Reborn" didn't count, because aside from selected titles, the Marvel universe kept on chugging along, dealing with the loss of such characters.  So while such a long past could be seen as intimidating, you do have the sense that the universe has been constantly evolving since it's launch, with nary a hard reset.

4. Has taken the multimedia banner DC initiated, and ran with it.  Marvel Studios, alone, has given us many cinematic treats.  Hell, if it wasn't for the success of their in-house studio, I highly doubt I would have lived to see an actual "Avengers" film.  Ditto for "Guardians of the Galaxy"!  They're not afraid to expand their film universe to characters that aren't exactly the marquee characters, and it has paid off for their profits, and for us fans.

CONS:
1. Sometimes having characters that face the same problems as we do can become rather... tiring to read.  Case in point: one of my all-time faves Spider-Man has not been read much by me, because I already have a difficult enough time making my own ends meet.  I want to read something to ESCAPE that reality, not always put myself in the shoes of a character that faces the same issues I do.  Plus, a brief mention of the Marvel Mutants: enough with the self-misery.  Get over it.  The world may fear and hate you, but enough with the friggin' navel gazing. 

2. Marvel hero fights have become as predictable as having to take a whiz.  New member on the Avengers?  Guess they have to fight someone.  New hero introduced?  Well, why not have them battle it out with Wolverine?  You may not always get along with people you interact with on a daily basis, but let's be honest: if you engaged in the regular fisticuffs that Marvel heroes seem to do, you would never be able to hold down a job, you'd probably not have any friends or loving relationships, and may not even be certifiable to own a pet.

3. No hard reboots sometimes means excessive baggage if you don't do your research.  I may have squealed with glee upon seeing obscure characters show up after being long dormant, but for a company nearly 60 years of modern-age existence, you can risk alienating new readers.  Gee... This sounds awfully a lot like the situation that caused the first DC "Crisis".

4. Marvel's media empire is not always limited to their own efforts... and that can mean questionable quality.  I'll still stand up for the first two Raimi "Spider-Man" films, and at least "X-Men 2, First Class, and Days of Future Past", but for every one of those we have, we also have to shuck through "Fantastic Four" films, lackluster "Wolverine" productions, and why the hell they even exist "Ghost Rider" features.  And not everything Marvel Studios produces can turn into gold.  People have told me "Agents of SHIELD" DID get better after the first few episodes, but those will-draining experiences did essentially kill off my interest in the show.  Period.

So where does this leave your writer?  I'd say... since I grew up more around the DC Universe, I think that's slightly where I side with my reading preferences.  BUT having said that, I certainly do not ignore Marvel's output, and try to read a little bit of column A mixed with column B.  As with anything in life, everything in moderation.  If you REALLY loved donuts, for example, and ate them every single day, excluding other food items due to your favoritism, you'd end up an immensely unhealthy person.  (But donuts every other day... That's a different story that I could almost support.)  So read and enjoy the products of both companies!  You can enjoy the fruits of one over the other, but don't feel like you should excise one over the other, because you may miss out on an additional slice of comic book joy!

All-New All-Different Adventure in the Mighty Metal Mikey Tradition!

Greetings, true believers!  ... Okay, I know what you're already thinking: "Metal Mikey, you idjit, you PROMISED a return to Action Attraction in blog form!  What. The. Hell?!?".  I believe that, with my real-world stresses of the past... holy crap, I'm nearing the YEAR ANNIVERSARY of when things started to turn difficult, I've yet to really rekindle my genuine love of Action movies.  The interest is there, but they've not really been part of my daily escape from the weight and grind of what you probably already know about.  What HAS been that escape... every single day in one form or another... is comic books.   Hence, the birth of this blogging venture of mine.  First, a little bit of a background.  Or origin story.  Or if you're stupid like Marvel, a 0.1 issue.

I really can't remember the first comic book I've owned.  To me, comics have been as much of a part of my life as eating, breathing, or going to the bathroom.  (Yes, AA followers... I'll probably bring up a few bathroom stories on the blog, as well.  Such as my birthday holocaust.  Olive burgers, French fries, and peach juice equals 3 times the fecal flood in the span of 12 hours.)  I like to believe one of my major introductory factors in comic-dom were cartoons.  When I was but an even Babier Skeletor, I lived in a television world where I could occasionally catch "The Super Friends", "Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends", "Incredible Hulk", or the live action shows of "Incredible Hulk" and "Wonder Woman".  Mmm... Lynda Carter...

What was I talking about?  Oh yes... Even as a little boy, I could recognize the power of these brightly-colored characters.  They fueled my imagination, and I also have comics to thank as a major factor for my general interest in actual literature, PERIOD. 

The time period I grew up in was pretty influential for comics.  They began to mature with their readers, they started to expand further into other media, they became iconic figures for people that didn't even follow the books.  As many grievances as I could list about the state of current comic publishing, I can't deny that as a comic book fan, I live in a pretty spectacular time for my interest.  And the great thing about the medium is it never really faded away from my interest.  Oh sure, there were passages of time where I didn't actively collect books, either due to financial limitations, or just the general "awkwardness" of growing up, but even in those passages, I still could find myself going over my already owned material, or sampling the expanding availability of comic collections through the library system.  No matter how difficult life got, or continues to get, it's going to be a comic book world that I just live in.

So... Why write this blog in the first place?  I still want to give you people a taste of the "Metal Mikey" flavor of commentary.  I might try to "clean it up" a bit more for this blog's sake, because I feel that like the best comic literature, it should be of a general age appeal.  But rest assured, whenever I bring up a subject, I'll still run at the mouth with my general stupidity.  And immature commentary.  See above thoughts on Lynda Carter.  Plus, it allows me to talk about something that has truly become a passion for me in these recent times.  Comics... I kid you not... are part of my daily existence.  They allow me bite-sized escapes from the "real world", where it sometimes feels like having Galactus stop by for a snack would be a blessing.  I may waver in tastes about what movies I watch, or what my general literature interests lie, but sure as you can always count on spotting Kal-El soaring above Metropolis on a given day, my undying love for comics as an art form are just as reliable.

What is the goal of the blog?  Sometimes I'll talk about specific characters.  Sometimes I'll talk about teams.  Sometimes I'll talk about creators.  Sometimes I'll have a bug up my butt to talk about a specific book of note.  Or I'll even talk about movie reviews related to comics.  As long as the subject holds interest to me, and relates to the topic at hand, I'll bring it up.  How regularly will I post?  I REALLY want to hold myself to a more established standard of regularity than I did with Action Attraction.  That means if I really have to whip myself into shape to post at LEAST 3-4 times in a week, so be it. 

What was the genesis of this blog?  I think the real spark was being able to find these on my birthday, this past Friday:

Did I need to spend the money that's become oh-so-tight to my recent times?  Probably not.  But finding these books for MUCH less than some prices I've seen listed on various auction sites, in their original tabloid format, on my date of birth... Well, you can't beat that as a sign that maybe talking about something that's proven to be a mental survival mechanism for myself would be an excellent way to express myself.

I can't honestly come up with a better conclusion for this inaugural posting to the blog!  So until next time, which will be VERY soon, if not even tomorrow, stay loose True Believers, because the good times are about to begin!