Show Some Pryde For Your X-Men!

Today we're taking a bit of a break from the actual printed pages of comics.  But I WILL say, if you really are dyed-in-the-wool about pursuing a reading experience about today's entry, see if you can find a copy of the "X-Men Animation Special" graphic novel.  ... But just expect a photo-novel approach to that book for today's material.  Y'see, if you grew up during the 90's, you are well-familiar with the regular FOX "X-Men" animated series.  Based off of the SUPER-HOT relaunch of the X-Men line in 1991, the series was a massive success.  And I was just as much of a part of that success.  (Though revisiting the series is NOT a kind experience.  Oh sure, the voice acting and scripting of the episodes are solid enough, but that animation... Oof... Rough times...)  But that was HARDLY the first time the X-Men saw animated life.

In brief, before the subject of today's blog arrived, the X-Men had two specific appearances on "Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends".  Those appearances do add to the Marvel Universe feel of the show, but they didn't really feel like the "X-Men" we knew.  For example, Thunderbird is still alive?  Wolverine... a noted Canadian citizen... has an Aussie accent?  Kitty Pryde is wearing that gawd-awful Sprite costume?  Still, it was a treat to young viewers, like myself, to see Spidey, Firestar, and Iceman encounter yet more heroes from the fictional setting.  But in 1989, we had a wee bit of an experiment for Marvel to expand back into the animation field with their propertied characters.  An experiment that resulted in the X-Men animated pilot, "Pryde of the X-Men".

Let's have a bit of a roll call, shall we?

• Cyclops: Able to project force beams from his eyes, contained by a ruby-quartz visor that can be controlled for blasts.  And in the animated pilot, he is QUITE OBVIOUSLY voiced by "Duke" from "G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero".  But as a whole, he serves as our noble field leader.
• Storm: Master of the weather, and actually should have been team leader by comics' standards around this time.  But she still manages to come off as compassionate by nature as she would in the printed page.
• Colossus: Able to turn his entire body to steel, and possesses super-strength in that form.  He's not quite Soviet-era Russian stereotype in his characterization, but expect to hear more than a few "Da's".
• Nightcrawler: Can perform "sight of line" teleportation that results in a sulphurous gas expulsion.  ... And takes the place of Colossus, in the comics, of having a rather creepy age differential attraction to Kitty Pryde.
• Dazzler: WHA?!?  As much as I love Alison Blaire, I find it rather bold decision to cast her in the animated series.  But to be fair, she was a member of this time period's X-Men team.  And her power is the ability to use sound as a light-powered weapon.
• Professor Charles Xavier: I wasn't sure if he did have a powered wheel chair in the comics around this comics' era, so maybe the animated series was forward-thinking to where he would be in the 90's.  But Charlie X specializes in psychic abilities, such as mind reading, psychic communication, and occasional mental manipulation.
• Kitty Pryde: 14 years old, a "fireplug" of attitude and worry, and is able to "phase" through solid objects.  Get used to her character arc in this pilot, because she practically hinges on this entire plot.  Gee... You think Joss Whedon watched this a few times in preparation for his "Astonishing X-Men" run?
• Wolverine: Adamantium claws, enhanced senses, healing ability, appears in about 100 separate Marvel teams... and STILL can't shed his Aussie accent for cartoons around this time.  You'd think they were advertising to a young Hugh Jackman to try his hand at the role!

"G'day, mate.  Crikies!"

 

But our heroes would be NOTHING without a suitable threat to challenge them!  And if you're anything like me, the first major threat you associate with the X-Men is one certain Master of Magnetism, Magneto.

The interesting thing is that Maggy has some rather... unique... selections for his... and I quote from the pilot, "Brotherhood of Mutant Terrorists".  Some we HAVE seen Magneto interact with in the comics, but others have not only come into conflict with Magneto, or just never met him at this period of continuity, anyways!  Bring on the bad guys!

• Toad: At THIS frame of time, his main abilities were enhanced agility.  That's... really about it.  But Toad was with Magneto right from the beginning, as part of his original Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, so it makes sense he would receive an animated nod.
• The Blob: "NOTHING MOVES THE BLOB!".  I applaud you for having that be the first thought to come to mind about Fred Dukes, a mutant who has the ability to increase his mass so he cannot be shifted.  And yes, he HAD encountered Magneto both as ally and foe in the past.
• Pyro: Aside from competing with Wolverine about who has the best Aussie accent... which Pyro is SUPPOSED to have... his mutant ability is to control flame.  And the only encounters he had with Magneto around this time was as a certified foil as part of the "Freedom Force", integral in the arrest and trial of Magneto in X-Men continuity.
• Juggernaut: Since this is a toned-down blog, I can't write the OTHER main character quote I'm thinking of for Charles Xavier's step-brother, Cain Marko.  But you know what I mean.  And I find it unusual that he would be included in ANY mutant group, since JUGGERNAUT IS NOT A MUTANT.  Sure, that Jewel of Cyttorak grants him invulnerability, and can power his mass through nearly anything, but it is NOT a mutation.
• White Queen: Emma Frost's milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard.  And in general, she does possess mental abilities to read and control minds.  ... And I find it hilarious that during the Asteroid M battle sequence, she is paired off with Cyclops.  I KNOW Grant Morrison must have seen this pilot more than a few times... (But thankfully her ability to shoot brain lightning bolts didn't stick from this pilot.)

The basis of this pilot is Magneto is rescued from armed forces imprisonment, where he brings back the Evil Mutant gang.  Kitty Pryde arrives at the Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, where she receives the grand tour, and gets to watch a highlight reel of the X-Men in the Danger Room.  The X-Men are called away from the Mansion by an Evil Mutant attack at an observatory, where Pyro and Blob steal the co-ordinates for the Scorpio comet.  (I'd call this a fight, but aside from Storm blowing away a wall of flame, there isn't really a "battle".)  Kitty wants to come along, but Wolvie is a grouch about the "new kid".  Though I'm sure if she did come along, Nightcrawler would be rather... distracted playing "ladies' man".  Magneto and Juggernaut attack the mansion to steal the Cerebro Mutant Chip, and smash up the place pretty good.  Kitty inadvertently helps them out by phasing through the defense computer, and short circuiting the works.  The X-Men return, help Xavier and Kitty recover... where Wolvie complains about Kitty, AGAIN... and Xavier establishes a psychic connection with Magneto to find out about his plans.  (Which should NOT work, because of Magneto's helmet which blocks psychic powers.)  And the plan?  Why, eliminate most of humanity with the help of an Asteroid M device powered by the Mutant Chip to control the trajectory of the Scorpio comet!

Space trip time for the X-Men... and time to showcase just how BAD they are at actual teamwork.  I would be neglectful if I didn't mention that Cyclops blasts a hole into the Asteroid with his eye-beams... WITH AN ASTRONAUT'S HELMET ON.  ... Think about that for a bit...  Anyways, back to the pathetic team organization.  As they make their way to Magneto, the team are challenged by the Evil Mutants.  But instead of fighting them as a unified front, they tackle the issue in a "brilliant" stroke of depleting their resources by squaring off in one-on-one battles with their threats.  The pairings goes as follows:

• Dazzler VS Pyro (Ends with Alison basically pelting Pyro with her light beams.)
• Wolverine VS Toad (Wolvie basically slashes the asteroid walls, trapping Toad in a cave... which he just stands next to.  I guess being the "Best he is at what he does" involves lazy accomplishment at tasks...)
• Cyclops VS White Queen (Cykes zaps one of White Queen's brain bolts, blinding her.  I like to think after the team moves on from this fight, Scott and Emma begin to make out like crazed teenagers.)
• Colossus VS Juggernaut (This makes SENSE that Peter would separate from the team, because he's the only one that could go toe-to-toe with Cain, realistically.)
• Nightcrawler VS Blob and Magneto (The former only counts as him ducking the Blob by teleporting behind him, with Blob saying in reaction, "WHERE GO?!?".)

I nearly forgot another unusual twist: While Magneto is an incredibly abusive pet owner, he DOES own a pet in... Lockheed!  That's right, the tiny dragon being shows up in the pilot!  Anyways, Kitty Pryde sneaks into the X-Men jet, and helps Nightcrawler stall out Magneto's plan.  But the control circuit of the comet control is damaged.   I HIGHLY doubt Nightcrawler could realistically channel electricity through his body, but he serves as a severed power-line connection, while Kitty reprograms the comet controls so it strikes Asteroid M, instead.  Loose ends abound for the conclusion, as somehow the X-Men make it back to their Blackbird jet, and we're left with the impression that while Asteroid M was destroyed, the Evil Mutants still survived.  But Nightcrawler has to teleport at the last minute out of the asteroid, and he does... RIGHT INTO SPACE where he is burning up in atmospheric re-entry towards Earth.  Will this episode end in noble sacrifice?  ... Actually, I'll withhold that piece of information, because you CAN watch this entire pilot on Youtube!  So no spoilers on this front!

The legacy of this pilot did not, sadly, lead into a regular animated series.  (It was apparently rather expensive to produce, and from the animation quality, I can agree; it's pretty sharp for the very late 80's.)  BUT it did lead to a fun... but VERY challenging... arcade game from Konami in 1992!

The cast of players remains ESSENTIALLY the same.  You still have the six core X-Men to select from, and if you were lucky enough to encounter the deluxe cabinet, you and five other friends could play as the entire team at ONCE!  The villains, though... We had a few twists...

We still had our animated pilot core group of Magneto, White Queen, Pyro, Juggernaut, and the Blob.  For all of Toad's loyalty, he is left out of the arcade game.  Poor guy... But it takes almost an ENTIRE group of villains to make up for that loss.

• Master Mold
• Wendigo
• The Living Monolith
• Mystique (Who REALLY never got along with Magneto at ANY POINT of her character history.  Ugh... Nice planning.)

And the one constant about this game is you will fight Sentinels.  A lot of Sentinels.  Which are apparently under control of Magneto.

I can only quote vagaries about the latter stages of this game, because I KNOW that the level following the boss battle with the Blob is usually the one where I bite the dust on my own.  Like all arcade brawlers of the time, if you enjoy them, they can be fun... but they can be INSANELY difficult to last on your own for extended periods of time, because you are incessantly pummeled by foes.  And if you don't enjoy them, the lack of gaming variety will make you just sigh in ill amusement.  But the best part about the X-Men Arcade Game is that it's VERY easy to find to purchase!  I bought a copy off of the Google Play store to play on my tablet, and I believe it's still an established purchase on the Sony and X-Box marketplaces.

I like to think that while this initial foray into the animated universe for the X-Men was ill-timed, it did provide a marker for what would come for later subsequent series like the 90's series, "X-Men Evolutions", and "Wolverine and the X-Men". (Who did not hold on to his Australian animated heritage... BUT started to become the overpowering presence in all these series.  Maybe being a glory hog WAS what he was "the best at what he does", after all...)

P.S.  Here's the link for the pilot for you to watch.  Now don't say I never gave you anything.  Heh!

 

You Can Pick Your Friends, Or Your Nose, But Not Your Marvel Family

With the wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Hercules, the stamina of Atlas, the power of Zeus, the courage of Achilles, and the speed of Mercury, young Billy Batson utters their assembled group into one magic word, "SHAZAM!", and he instantly transforms into Captain Marvel, the world's mightiest mortal!  (And the DC New 52's biggest jerk of a kid and hero in the history of comics...  Seriously, Geoff Johns and Gary Frank, you couldn't do ANY better?)  But the trick about Captain Marvel... NOT SHAZAM, BUT CAPTAIN MARVEL!!!... is that being part of the Wizard Shazam's crusade for justice is not just a solo act.  Nope, you get to manage a family of similar heroes by your side, so let's take a look at the highs and lows of such times!

From left to right in this particular picture we have the good Captain Marvel.  Next in line, clad in the blue variation of the outfit is Freddy Freeman, ordinarily a crippled newspaper hawker, who when he utters the name of his personal hero, "CAPTAIN MARVEL!!!", he transforms into Captain Marvel Jr.!  (If I were in Freddy's shoes, I would've at least insisted in a lesser rank for a name, instead of being the de-facto "Junior" version of my hero!)  The lovely lady next in line is Mary Batson.  She gets a pass for the magic word category by also saying the acronym "SHAZAM!", and she is transformed into Mary Marvel.  (Being our lead character's biological sister does have benefits, but her acronym holds a different meaning.  Let's see if I can copy... er, I mean "memorize"... this correctly: grace from Selene, strength from Hippolyte, skill from Adriane, swiftness from Zephyrus, beauty... (That's a POWER?!?) from Aurora, and wisdom from Minerva.)  Our next line entrant is a charity case.  Yes... Let's be honest; Uncle Dudley only was considered part of the family because of his good-hearted nature, and probably because he guilted Billy Batson into being included.  So, with no attributes of power, or words of power, but with a LONG-WINDED outfit change, Dudley becomes Uncle Marvel!  ... And he just tags along.  Can't wait for his action figure.  BUT at the very right, we have the man that started it all, the sage wizard himself, Shazam!

Now, I remember in Jerry Ordway's "Power of Shazam", the Wizard was explained to have been the originator of the general divine assemblage power concept, but damned if I can remember his amalgamated namesake.  (It WASN'T Shazam, I can tell you that.)  But the origin goes that centuries later, after a failure to pass on his legacy and power... which we'll talk about later... he encounters a homeless Billy Batson, takes him back to the Rock of Eternity, transfers his power to Billy... and passes from this mortal coil.  Thus, Shazam serves as a spiritual mentor to the Marvel Family.  But I'm sure you're well-versed in these more recognizable members of the family.  Now, why don't we take a look at some other members that you... and even I... may not be terribly familiar with!

While not a super-powered member of the family, you can't deny that having a bipedal talking tiger as a friend is pretty darned special!  Let me introduce you to Tawky Tawny.  ... Yes, that's his name, just roll with it.  Sadly, this picture does not display him in his stunning tweed jacket of normal outfit, but Tawny was an integral part of the Marvel Family for a long time.  He sort of operates as the more tolerable comedic relief character that Uncle Dudley was intended to be.  ... Except I find the very oddball concept of a zoo tiger that wants to associate himself more with humanity a LOT more entertaining than a glory-hogging tubby elderly citizen.  Go figure!

No, you didn't drink some spiked punch.  Yes, Hoppy the Marvel Bunny did exist.  He was created as part of the "funny animal" comic book fixation of the 40's, and was essentially Captain Marvel... only as a pink cartoon wabbit.  But the weird thing is this didn't make me want to tear my hair out in puzzlement.  Granted, that may be because I haven't read enough of Hoppy's original adventures, but he HAS figured in a spectacular "DC Comics Presents" two-issue crossover with the Marvel Family, and I thought his appearance was pretty entertaining.  Maybe enough to make me want to backtrack his previous adventures, and maybe to see if Hoppy put in any additional appearances after his brushing capes with the Man of Steel, Superman!  Now, on the other side of the spectrum of characters I'm not very familiar with... but DO NOT want to explore just on sheer principle...

You may notice three schmucks in this musical interlude that you have not previously met.  Allow me the... ugh... displeasure of introducing you to the "Lieutenant Marvels".  As previously performed for the introduction to the Marvel Family, from left to right: Fat Billy(Because being overweight is a superpower), Tall Billy (Because being tall and lanky is a superpower), and Hill Billy (Because being proud of being a redneck is a superpower... thus making some Country artists more powerful than we originally reckoned.)  From what I read, they were all named Billy Batson, and should they say "SHAZAM" in unison, they are gifted with the same powers Captain Marvel possesses.  You know, I'm all for adding to the ranks of a super team, but the wisdom of Solomon allowed THIS to happen?  Quite honestly, the only time I've ever ran across the Lieutenants was in the Marvel Family profile in an issue of DC's "Who's Who".  And for my sanity, it's probably for the best that's the only exposure I've had to the characters.  And people complained about the dilution of the Kryptonian legacy in the Silver Age...

But all families have a certain member that isn't welcome at holiday gatherings.  Whether it be due to an argumentative nature, or they drink the entire family under the table... OR they use the powers they were granted to attempt superiority over mankind.  Remember a little failed experiment on the part of the Wizard Shazam I mentioned before?  Time for you to meet the black sheep of the Marvel Family...

Teth-Adam would later become Black Adam.  When Cameron was in Egypt land, Shazam sensed potential in Teth, and granted him the very mystic powers that were under his command.  The issue about some people is when they're granted with a vast wellspring of powers and abilities, they tend to get a little bossy.  Such is the case with Teth, who became a tyrant to his people, until the Wizard removed him from this very sphere.  (Whether he was blasted into outer space, or had a mystical amulet be principle in removing his powers, it all depends on what DC Universe version you're reading at that time.)  But in either case, Black Adam manages to return to threaten the Marvel Family, and the world at large.  Even being the evil version of the Marvel spectrum, the magic word "SHAZAM" works just the same for Teth.  And he even managed to found his own "Black Adam" family during the events of the "52" event, with a Mary Marvel in the form of Isis, a Captain Marvel Jr. in Osiris, and EVEN a Tawky Tawny in the crocodile man Sobek.  (Thankfully Black Adam didn't feel the need to hire in his own Uncle Dudley to slow down the works.) 

A lot of this information about the Marvel Family is really more set in the past, because like all families, they have their up and down periods, and I feel for the past 10 or so years, the Marvel Family has REALLY undergone a lot of "downs".  The Wizard dies as part of the "Day of Judgment", Captain Marvel is forced to become the Wizard, CM Jr. attempts to become a full Captain Marvel, and poor Mary Marvel is forced to become a tool for Darkseid's conquest of Earth for "Final Crisis".  (And she doesn't earn any points for becoming a Hot Topic Goth/Punk Rocker for that period, as well.)  The only family members that really DID fare well during such dark times were Black Adam, and even Tawky Tawny got some solid licks in for "Final Crisis".  The less said about the "New 52" version of Cap... er, I mean "Shazam"... the better.  (I'm dead serious: I hated that book.  HATED.  THAT.  BOOK.)  But if today's entry taught us anything, it's that even the mightiest of mortals cannot always operate alone, and while sometimes your family can be weird... or downright homicidal... they ARE your family, and they make you what you are!

Friday "Funnies" Foolishness: "Earth's Mightiest" May Be A Rather Loose Term...

It's sometimes unusual how coincidence ties into your life.  I was toying with the subject of today's blog about two or so weeks ago, and this past week has been a whirlwind about Marvel's flagship team of current times, the Avengers.  I won't dive too far into my thoughts about such developments, but let's just drop them for currency sake.

• Thor will be a woman.  Eh, as long as it results in solid stories, I've no complaints.
• Sam Wilson, AKA The Falcon, will become Captain America.  Again, as long as it results in solid stories, I've no complaints.  I will say this makes more historical sense, for continuity, than the Thor change.
• "The Avengers: Age of Ultron" scores an Entertainment Weekly cover, and I've REALLY no complaints.  I am curious as to how Robert Downey Jr. will return as Iron Man, because I thought he essentially wrapped that up in "Iron Man 3", and Ultron itself looks FANTASTIC.  Next year is going to be a killer time with the Avengers.

But for all of the stellar history, and participants, of "Earth's Mightiest Heroes", there are some individuals I've noticed throughout the years of the Avengers' roster that made me scratch my head.  Maybe they were pity votes into the team?  Maybe it was that momentary flash in the pan first impression that had Jarvis open the door?  Or maybe it was sheer bribery.  I don't expect you, my appreciated readers, to agree with EVERY one of my choices, but these are some of the Avengers members that made me go... "Er... WHAT?!?".

Starfox, AKA Eros: Son of Mentor of Titan, brother to Thanos... and guy who possessed horrid fashion sense and a Flock of Seagulls haircut.  See that picture?  Even Hawkeye and Captain Marvel agree this was a rather off move!  Starfox possesses generally rather generic powers, such as flight, super strength, and a healing factor.  MY reasoning as to why such a rather jerk-ish character made the Avengers ranks is his unique ability to psychically control other people's emotions.  And I remember him using these powers... a LOT... on members of the opposite sex.  So great job, Avengers, letting the sexually abusive employee take up the spotlight.

Mantis: It's odd that Mantis finds her way onto the list, because I feel like I'm in the minority of people that enjoyed the "Celestial Madonna" story arc.  But just because I enjoy an arc does NOT mean I can appreciate the character that it focused on... let alone her being included in the ranks of such luminaries like Iron Man and Thor.  Okay... Mantis starts life being taken from Vietnam by the Kree, who believe she's the Celestial Madonna, and until her adulthood, train her to be all cosmic super powery, with SPACE MARTIAL ARTS EDUCATION.  But even the Kree, as misguided a Marvel alien race as they are, decide to toss this abrasive beauty back to Earth after a mind-wipe so she can learn about life.  (I also call it getting the psycho out of YOUR life for a little while.)  She manages to become a part of Vietnam's...er... "pleasure industry", before happening upon the Avengers.  Now granted her attitude wasn't as extremely confrontational as Moondragon's, but she wasn't the most likeable addition to the team.  ... Unless you were the next entrant of today's listing.

Swordsman, AKA Jacques Duquesne: Just look at that smug git, saying "I made the Avengers, fell in love with a hot but temperamental Vietnamese/Kree space goddess... and you didn't."  And he started off his career for a LONG stretch as an Avengers nemesis!  He BATTLED the very team he was later admitted to!  In fact, he joined the Avengers TWICE!  Once was when he thought he could milk his connections to Cliff Barton, AKA Hawkeye... whom was trained under Jacques, to join a team that would offer him better financial security than just being a villain.  But that wasn't the makings of a solid union, so he quit for another extended spell of the life of crime.  It wasn't until both he and the Avengers ran into Mantis that he turned to the side of the angels once more.  I've always found it odd that a man who was an expert in a melee weapon like a sword could train an expert ARCHER, but I suppose it can make comic book sense.   What is the greater mystery is if you were an employer, and you had a position-seeker who has not only talked trash about your organization... and apparently FOUGHT your employees, would you later HIRE them because they "made nice"?  Not exactly the best move at this time, team...

Two-Gun Kid, AKA Matt Hawk: Understand, I've nothing against Marvel's Western characters.  And I've no real issues with the Two-Gun Kid.  So he's not abrasive, nor unlikable in the least.  But why is he included in my listing of questionable Avengers?  Simple: He originally showed up as part of a time-travel adventure involving other Western heroes, and was brought back to the present with Hawkeye.  I should also mention this adventure involved Kang the Conqueror... who nearly always gives me a headache whenever he's involved in a story.  And to me, time-displaced heroes should NOT be given a pass to join a major superhero team!  In a way, it's a bit like the Butterfly Effect, in that you alter one element of the past, and it irrevocably changes the future.  Only you're taking an element of the past, THRUSTING him into the future, and having him join a modern-day team.  ... I'm sorry, but when a team is formed, I want to see the best of their CURRENT heroes in action, not for people to cherry-pick characters from the past in time-travel adventures to become members.  What's next. Sgt. Rock being elected as a member of the Justice League of America?

Sersi: Unlike my having no issues with Marvel's Western characters, this entry is actually a HUGE issue for me.  I just don't like the Eternals.  I tried reading Jack Kirby's original series, and felt that while it had interesting ideas, the characters were rather bland and the story lacked positive momentum.  And one of the members of Marvel's rather forgettable demi-gods that irritated me the most was Sersi.  Aside from the standard package powers of flight, strength... et al., she possesses molecular manipulation powers, which was the ONE reason why Captain America opened the door for Avengers membership for her.  Aside from that, Sersi just served to be the team "flirt".  The time I really knew the character was when she had this truly bizarre life-altering bond with Black Knight... and even with that, she STILL tried to get into the pants of other heroes, knowing that this bond was a life-or-death connection.  And yes... as evidenced by my mention of Starfox from earlier, I don't excuse this behavior from male team members, as well.  Jeez!  Keep it in your pants for the job, Avengers!

Last, but FAR from least, my hottest contested member of the Avengers:

Doctor Druid:  So... Ancient One... aren't you glad Steven Strange worked out for the best, after all?  Otherwise, we'd be calling Anthony Druid "Sorcerer Supreme".  Yes, even from the beginning he was just a "second best" option for mystical training.  And how do you reward second-stringers who wear red jammies, sport ridiculous hair styles, and cop an inferiority/superiority complex that would make Red Tornado feel downright humble?  YOU.  MAKE.  HIM.  AN.  AVENGER.  *Face palm*  I've never liked Dr. Druid.  Never.  I mentioned a seed of appreciation and interest in the Eternals, and I guess by proxy... since he IS one of them... Eros gets a slight pass on that seed.  But Dr. Druid, for as long as I've known the character, has been antagonistic, egotistical... and with no good REASON!  He's about as effective in his mystic prowess as a man in a cold shower is... um... getting excited.  They TRIED to make him a more serious character after his being possessed by evil influences for the umpteenth time earned him an Avengers rejection, but I certainly didn't care enough to follow his career trajectory after that point.  Boo on you, Mr. Druid.  Boo, indeed.

I believe that concludes my general list of Avengers that rubbed me the wrong way for today's goofiness.  But don't worry, because another company gets some solid criticism for some family elements for tomorrow's entry!  A certain "Marvelous" family...  Hmm...

Seven...ish Soldiers of Victory

Who would think that barely a month after starting this blogging exercise, I would reach the point where I would recycle images?  Ah... The economy of effort.  In my very first posting, I included this image to express my general love for comics.  BUT it was also a seed of a topic I wanted to touch upon.  You see, this very "Justice League" digest was one of the most influential comics I've ever bought in my life.  It helped cement the concepts of Earth-2 in my head, with this being one of the annual JLA/JSA crossovers of the time.  (You know?  When there were multiple Earths, and they COULD cross these teams over?  Hell, we have multiple Earths in the DCU NOW, and that crossover will probably never happen again.  Dirty glares at Dan DiDio...)  But this was no ordinary crossover.  In this particular digest was collected a three-issue EPIC featuring the Justice League and Society united... on a search for yet MORE heroes, the Seven Soldiers of Victory!

Hence the title, Seven...ish.  Because unless you lack the ability to count, there are EIGHT members of the team portrayed in this picture... AND in the story.  But they began life in a book called "Law's Legionnaires", and according to the infinitely wise Wikipedia, was the second super team DC created.  I would do a specific roll-call, but I'll be honest... Aside from the Shining Knight's mystical powers, and Vigilante's and Green Arrow's choices of specific weapons, there wasn't really a uniform difference of powers between team members.  But hey, sometimes all you need is a group of colorful brawlers to get by for entertainment!  And it was because of them that we had the JLA/JSA crossover event for an anniversary for the ages!

"JLA #100" starts off with the League tackling individual battles, but in a rush to assemble for an anniversary party for their team.  And they agree to hold the festivities in their original cave headquarters.  Now, this is an interesting gathering in that one of the founding members, Martian Manhunter, could not attend due to his Mars-related duties.  (AKA I think the writers of this time period really disliked involving poor J'ohnn...)  But even a powerless Diana Prince shows up, and Zatanna comes along for the party!  But before the cake can be cut, they are whisked away by Dr. Fate to meet with the JSA to confer with the mystical Oracle... AKA space Gandalf... to stem a coming crisis.  Dr. Fate projects the image of a giant mystic hand in the midst of a death grip upon Earth.  ... Eh, the original story isn't exactly clear WHAT Earth it is, but hey, bad things are happening to it!

The best course of action, Fate decides, is to track down the Seven Soldiers of Victory, because they've encountered this menace before.  The big issue is... NO ONE remembers who the Seven Soldiers are!  (Just like every current DC writer outside of Grant Morrison.  BA-DUM-DUM!)  This hand is actually similar to a foe the Soldiers fought called the Nebula Man.  But in the Soldiers' defeat of the Nebula Man, the being exploded, and that resulted in the Soldiers displacement in time and space.  Well... more time than space.  Anyways, the current hand energy is being summoned by a villain of the Seven Soldiers' history called the Hand, who had gathered the Soldiers' most vile enemies in a group.  In the confrontation with the Hand, his right... I'm getting tired of saying this, but it DID happen... hand was destroyed, and now he bears an iron appendage, and dubbed himself with the new identity of Iron... ugh... Hand.  So now it is up to the JLA and JSA to be sent to various time periods to try and find their targeted members of the Seven Soldiers.  We only get one time trip in issue 100, with Dr. Fate, Atom, and Elongated Man tripping back to the Aztec peninsula to rescue the Crimson Avenger.  But be patient, for more team-ups are to come!

Issue 101 provides us with more team-up action, but before we summarize the questors and their goals, I do want to mention that Diana Prince is acting as a holding person for the mystic spot that the Oracle declared "home base".  (She had a hang-up about the Earth 2 Wonder Woman being present, and not being able to contribute due to being "non powered".  ... Like the Sandman, or Batman, eh?)  So she fills in on the late-in-arriving Mr. Terrific, Earth 2 Green Lantern, and Earth 2 Robin.  Now, let's summarize the team up action for this book!

• Superman, Sandman, and Metamorpho in ancient China, battling against Genghis Khan to rescue the Shining Knight!
• Hawkman, Wonder Woman, and Dr. Midnight in jolly ole' England with Robin Hood to meet up with the Seven Soldiers version of Green Arrow!
• Batman, Starman, and Hourman in the land of the Pharaohs to give a lift to Stripsey!  (AKA Man of little confidence to become the sidekick to Star-Spangled Kid...)

But this issue ends with the Iron Hand having snuck his way to the mystical tether spot, and his looming menacingly towards Diana Prince... SHOCK AND HORROR!!!

Issue 102 caps off with another recap of the Seven Soldiers sticky situation.  But it doesn't take us long to leap right into the team-ups, so without further hesitation...

• Green Arrow, Black Canary, and Johnny Thunder... and I REALLY feel bad for poor Ollie and Dinah to be saddled with this jerk... traipse back to the American West to rescue Vigilante from Native Americans!
• Aquaman, Wildcat, and Green Lantern walk the dinosaur in the time of Cro-Magnon man to retrieve Star-Spangled Kid!
• Flash, Zatanna, and everyone's favorite self-doubting android, Red Tornado, end up in ancient Greece... SO ancient that apparently the myth of Circe's island proves to be true... to find Speedy.  (Who isn't strung out on heroin around this story...)

You're probably thinking, "Hey Metal Mikey!  You just TALKED about Seven Soldiers being rescued!  Why are you being so cute about the 'seven-ish' remark?".  Well... Crimson Avenger DID have a sidekick called Wing, and when the groups learned about the Seven Soldiers, they also found about a grave that was marked for the Unknown Soldier of Victory.  That grave belonged to Wing, who died in the battle against the Nebula Man.  And after the Iron Hand UTTERLY fails in his attack... I mean, even his new appendage gets chopped off by Diana Prince... the group is still at a loss as to how to defeat the threatening hand.  They DO brainstorm the idea that a missile device could destroy the global threat.  But who to deliver it?  It may be powerful enough to destroy even SUPERMAN!  But these are such noble souls that they argue the point... until they notice Red Tornado has disappeared.  If you can't guess who brought the missile up to space to destroy the celestial Hand, you're not terribly observant, I'm afraid.  And thus begins the pattern of Reddy being blown up, and rebuilt at a latter time, and having the whole self-doubt cycle being again.  (Which feels, ironically enough, like my struggles in finding quality employment...)

And all this... plus a reprint of the League's encounter with the Tornado Tyrant... all in one 100 page digest?!?  Man, you can't get a better value than that, especially with Dick Dillin on top of his artistic game with all these heroes, and Len Wein crafting a mini-event that was fun and pacy.  The best part about this story is you don't have to work TOO hard to find it!  If you're feeling bold, you can always track down the original issues.  If you want my similar experience, you can TRY finding the original digest volume.  BUT I know for a fact that it's either volume 4 or 5 that this was reprinted in a "Showcase Presents the Justice League of America" volume!  So take my advice, and if you appreciate a fun heroic crossover, give it a shot!

With Friends... Or Liberation Fronts... Like These, Who Needs Enemies?

I'm sure some of you reading this blog took people into your social circles at various points of your life that... weren't exactly the best of people.  That's not to say they were bad influences, or terrible people, but they certainly didn't assist your personal standings, any.  Maybe it was because you were kind-hearted, and wanted to assist someone that felt like they were in need.  Or it could be the suspect case I have for today's topic, which is you associate yourself with general losers in life because they're easy to order around, and they flock to you like grossly overweight people in scooters do to the Pop-Tart section of Wal-Mart.  (SERIOUSLY!  Just check that section of the cereal aisle next time you're there, and see what I mean!)

Stryfe showed up the same time Cable did in "New Mutants #87".  He emerged into the world as the brain child of Louise Simonson and Rob Liefeld.  ... And don't even dare imagine that coupling, you dirty bird!  His look was INSANELY early 90's, all pointy armor and such, but he helped usher in the new era of threats for the next generation of mutants.  It's also no coincidence that he showed up exactly the same time as did Nathan Summers; they did share a legit kinship!

When Nate was infected by a techno-organic virus as a baby, Cyclops and Jean Grey surrendered him to a time-traveler name Askani to help him find a cure.  The religious order DID eventually find a cure for Nate, but still leaving traces of techno-organics in his system.  (Hence the metal arm and all...)  But as we all do when we create a piece of software... or blog... we want a personal copy in case the original goes bottom-up.  Nate was cloned into an all-human copy, and that all-human copy was kidnapped by Apocalypse, who raised the child with intent to eventually take over his body.  Clones, however, make bad choices for host bodies, and thus rejected, Stryfe gets a REAL mad-on for his "family" lineage.  And in the process, becomes a megalomaniacal would-be conqueror.  And he DOESN'T do too shabby of the job in the future, until Cable raises a resistance against Stryfe's armies.  But it's in the past that Stryfe has some... er... difficulties with creating a realistically threatening group of followers.  Maybe he just sucked at selecting participants, but I present to you the Mutant Liberation Front.

Some of the members were also introduced in the same issue of "New Mutants #87", as this splash will illustrate, and with each picture, I'll give you a tour of just who these desperate hangers-on were:

• Wildside: The guy with Wolverine's haircut, and the massive red cape.  He'll be showing up in another FFF entry in a few weeks, but the gist of him is... eh... he has savagery powers.  Hell, I don't think he did anything more in his appearances that just hack and slash at people.
• Fourarm:  Can you believe HE was part of the initial press of "X-Force" action figures?  HIM?!?  Sigh... Anyways, the dude with four arms is obviously our namesake.
• Reaper: Kind of a dull riff on Gambit, who can charge energy through the scythe he carries.  And he also possesses a ridiculous head of hair.
• Strobe: Who doesn't love redheads?  She's bringing up the rear in this group shot, and her power is projection of a heat aura which can be used to melt incoming objects or project heat beams, or even be used for personal flight.
• Thumbelina:  I guess even Stryfe cared about short "big" women that weren't glamorous enough for regular teams.  So, her power is to ape the Atom or Shrinking Violet... and shrink.  Hello human Shrinkidink!

 

• Dragoness: Green slinky bodysuit, possessing dragon wings and a stylized Cyclops visor.  Snazzy!
• Kamikaze: He was just "there" for most of his appearances, but according to what I just read, he can "excite the molecules of anything he touches".  ... Take that description wherever you want...
• Rusty: WHA?!?  You may be wondering why such regulars to X-Factor and New Mutants like Rusty and Skids... and who chooses the mutant codename of "SKIDS"... are part of a terrorist team.  Well, when the MLF were introduced in their first New Mutants issue, they were directed to rescue Rusty and Skids from jail, so they could be brainwashed and added to the ranks.  Rusty's power was to manipulate fire... which I'm sure drove Pyro insane with cries of gimmick infringement.
• Zero: Zero is actually an anomaly of the team, in that it is actually not a mutant AT ALL!  Nope, it's an android that has the ability to serve as a group teleporter by opening up rifts in reality.

So what exactly did the MLF really achieve in their greater "career"?  Well... They did manage to make a few successful strike runs for Stryfe for various targets.  (None so terribly huge.)  They also did take a major part in the "X-Cutioner's Song" crossover.  I seem to recall a good cross section of the team DIED in that crossover, along with the "Cable: Blood and Metal" two-parter.  After Stryfe was defeated at the end of "X-Cutioner's Song", a HUGE no-namer named Reignfyre led the team, and also picked up two former members of the New Mutants and X-Force: the former being Moonstar and the latter being Feral.  And I remember no more of that iterations' adventures up until a VERY limited span version showed up in the second regular "Punisher" series, led by... ironically enough... the character X-Cutioner, who HUNTED MUTANTS.  ... Real smart move, guys.

But while Stryfe had such lofty beginnings, I do believe time travel did lead to some lost mojo, and it resulted in a group that... let's face it... even Magneto at his most WICKED would say, "Sorry, but Toad was more effective than the entire lot of you".  But for the 90's, Stryfe's motley group of super-powered schmucks did achieve SOME moments of fame, due to being involved with superstar creators, and mega crossover events.  Not too bad for the guys the underdogs considered beneath them!

Giving Comics A "Valiant" Effort

I may have mentioned this in a previous posting or so, so sue me for repeating myself.  My primary collecting period began roughly around the mid-90's.  It was a time period where DC was unleashing events that almost made their "Crisis" pale in comparison, Image was bringing their style over substance to record heights of sales, and Marvel was left wondering what to do to achieve its general dominance.  (It PROBABLY involved launching 10 X-Books to make up the difference...)  But there was another "contender" company I was aware of in the 90's.  A company that I REALLY don't remember a lot of my friends reading the material of, and when I attempted to tackle their material... it didn't exactly leave me feeling overwhelmed in excitement.  Or just generally "whelmed" in that sphere!  I speak of Jim Shooter's direct market nurtured baby, Valiant Comics!

According to the universal font of ALL knowledge... Wikipedia... Valiant Communications had its roots in 1989 with the visions of Jim Shooter and Bob Layton.  It was not long before this year that Shooter was ousted as Editor In Chief for Marvel.  (Referring back to "Marvel Comics: The Untold Story" by Sean Howe, those Shooter EIC years were rather... um... "interesting".  But when a guy learns at the feet of Mort Weisenger, I suppose you have little recourse but to act like a butthole when you're in a position of power!)  The comic line had unusual starts, publishing comics based off of Nintendo properties like "Super Mario Bros.", "The Legend of Zelda", and EVEN "Game Boy".  Yes... A gaming system had it's own comic.  What I wouldn't have given for "The Adventures of the Sega 32X...  Valiant EVEN had brief rights to publish comics based off of the WWF.  I DESPERATELY wish I could read these books, but they were printed in such limited quantities, they can cost the Earth even on reliable cheap comic resources!  But taking a page from the rebellious nature of the Image founders, 1992 was the year Valiant started publishing its "original material".

I use quotation marks for "original material", because their characters were partly re-purposed characters from Dell Comics for some of their big players, like "Magnus Robot Fighter" and "Solar".  That's not to say they just grabbed publishing rights for then-extinct characters solely, because they did create their own characters, such as XO-Manowar, Rai, Archer & Armstrong, and... because it's the 90's, and adding "Blood" to a character's name is GREAT MARKETING... Bloodshot.  As mentioned, these books were pretty much under my past comic community's radar, along with my own.  I've talked about it before on the group that I generally favor DC, and Marvel had some interesting ideas to fill in the creative gaps of their fled creators.  And of course, being an impressionable youth, the stylistic approach from Image was HOT to me.  But when I would peek at a Valiant comic, their creations just felt... flat to me.  The artwork was not as enticing as what Image had to offer, the characters felt too bland, and the shared-universe aspect for such a YOUNG universe I perceived as intimidating.  (Right when I really did take notice of Valiant, originally, the "Unity" storyline was starting off, for example.)  That's not to say I didn't drop money to occasionally sample their books, so here's a few examples of my comic-reading "stops".

Perhaps the BIGGEST selling point for this trade paperback of the first four issues of "Rai" was it came sealed with an individual copy of the zero issue.  Hey, that sales approach got me to buy the "WildCATs" trade, even though I OWNED most of the single issues!  I think out of all the examples I'll present today, this story stuck out the best as an enjoyable read to me.  Basically, you have a far-future Japan being controlled by an evil corporation... as you do in fiction... and a person possessing supernatural samurai abilities goes up against a technologically superior army in resistance.  I remember at the time that, while the art didn't really "Wow" me, I did at least find the story entertaining.  Not to give any spoilers, but the ending was also pleasantly unexpected.  ... That is, until Rai was brought back not too long afterwards, but we'll talk about that...

... Right NOW!  (Thought I was going to tease this out longer, eh?)  This was the single issue of "Rai and the Future Force" I ever bought, and that was due to it being oversized and residing in a quarter bin.  And wow, was I ever confused, and not really all that curious to attempt backtracking the sequence of events.  All I can recall for you readers was that I remember Rai being left for dead at the end of the graphic novel, with his "genetic seed" being passed onto the new character, Bloodshot.  So... Why is Rai back?  Why is he teamed up with Magnus and I THINK it was the Eternal Warrior, along with a few other people I never learned about?  At least this issue did tell a perfectly stand-alone story, and did feature a fight against a robot army.  Because if there's one thing I've learned about comics; you cannot fail with a story about superheroes fighting a robot army.

Before he ruined Spider-Man's life, and was a bit of a jerk as the early 2000's Marvel editor, Joe Quesada was just a blooming artist.  Now his bloom occurred WAY before his involvement with Valiant, but he left for the imprint after a very successful run on his part with Marvel's "X-Factor" title.  My opinion on Joey Q's artwork can shift like the wind, but I will readily agree that his material from the general 90's period to when he worked on Marvel Knights' "Daredevil" was pretty darn good!  (But look at his current pinups.  I think the man forgot what basic anatomy is all about.)  So this was the one example of a creator pulling me into a Valiant book.  And it was about a NINJA character!  Ninjas are RRRAAADDD, man!  ... If that's the case, then why do I only remember how awesome that front cover for the first Ninjak issue was, and that Joey Q only worked on two issues before departing to start his Event Comics imprint with partner Jimmy Palmiotti?  But I save the wackiest for last...

Ever since the days when I first saw "Creature from the Black Lagoon" on TV with 3D glasses, and saw "Starchaser: The Legend of Orin" in its original 3D run, I've had a lifelong charmed affair with the third dimension in film and comic media.  Yes!  I even bought three-dimensional comics, with the goofy glasses!  I remember some of my key purchases for that pursuit involved a reprint of Joe Kubert's "Tor", and I think it was an issue of Now Comic's "Real Ghostbusters" to boot.  So imagine my awe and wonder when Valiant announced that THEY would be infrequently publishing comic books in 3D again... only WWWAAAYYY better than they ever were previously published.  They tested the market waters with the "Valiant Vision Starter Kit".  The concept for Valiant Vision was it was a reading experience that was enhanced with 3D glasses, but you didn't need them to read the issue utilizing the gimmick.  With that starter kit, you received a pair of glasses, instructions on how to use the glasses, a pinup for your wall that could be used with the glasses... and a squirt of a "Solar" story.  I mean that, literally.  For probably about $3-4, you were only getting an 8 page... story, if you can call it that... with supplementary materials.  Needless to say, this gimmick didn't exactly set the world on fire.

The strange thing about Valiant is it was one of the largest 90's independent publishers, but it managed to die off before the decade closed.  Say what you will about elements of Image, and their implosions, but the general imprint still survived.  Valiant was acquired by Acclaim Entertainment, the merger produced some successful video game merchandising, such as the GREAT "Turok" game series, and an interesting "Shadowman" game... and the kind of sloppy mess that was "Iron Man/XO-Manowar: Heavy Metal".  But I'd say the company ultimately faded out of existence come 1998 or so.  Even more bizarre, come 2012, the entire Valiant line is relaunched to MUCH critical and commercial success!  It has prompted me to consider giving the line a second try to rectify my initial hesitant opinions.  I suppose that, much like any other entertainment medium, comics can become cyclical, and even the Valiant can survive...

It's Not The Size Of Your Comic... Well... Actually, Yeah, It Is

If there's one thing I appreciated about myself as a comic buyer is I appreciate volume value more than financial value.  To simplify that, I like a larger comic that fits a great cost!  (Fat chance of that happening with monthly books, these days...  Oh well, there's always reprint phonebooks...)  And for a stretch of time, DC Comics was probably the KING of monthly value books.  These books I used to scour comic shops for, because they were not usually highly priced in back issue bins, and I would get a great handful of stories for 64-80 pages.  What more could a kid ask for?  Or a teenager?  Or a full-grown man? 

Our legacy begins back in 1964, when DC began publishing a special "80 Page Giant" series, loaded to the gills with various reprints of their library material.  The "80 Page Giant" series had a unique numbering series that would more resemble droid names from your average "Star Wars" film, and lasted until 1971.  Plus, the "80 Page Giant" format was used previously for individual title annuals.  But the reprint format remained the same, which was great for new readers who had no access to... say... Superman or Batman stories originally printed from the 1940's.  Out of this original run, I know I owned one volume of a Superman annual, and another special that featured spotlighted female characters of the DC Universe.  Of course, the "stellar assortment" of that issue could be debated.  Cheetah, Wonder Woman, and Supergirl, I won't argue with.  Blackfire... Yeah... See if you remember her.

Cue our next stop in our trip, 1977, with then still new DC President Jeanette Khan stating concern about comics not fitting the reading value of their prices... which is something I WISH current publishers would realize, because if I'm to pay four bucks a book, that book had best be over 20 pages of story... so she transitioned some existing titles into the new Dollar Comics format.  Sure, the page count went down from 80 to 64 in the last few years of its run, but you still got comics that were double... or TRIPLE... the size of your average book, for one measly dollar!

I'd say the ones I've had the most success finding were "Superman Family" and "World's Finest".  At some point, I'd like to be able to find the DC war comics "Dollar Comics", since that genre has gained some interest with me.  But the great thing about these oversized anthology titles was that... unlike its 60's predecessor... you had ALL-NEW stories in each issue.  For example, every issue of "World's Finest" delivered a new Batman/Superman story, and you had other features like Green Arrow, Black Canary, Captain Marvel, Hawkman, Vigilante, Wonder Woman... Heck, even the Creeper!  (Although I do my best to forget some of those stories.  Sorry, but those weren't great creative times for Steve Ditko.)  And "Superman Family" offered up individual stories for Jimmy Olsen, Lois Lane, Nightwing and Flamebird, Supergirl... and unfortunately for a while, Krypto the Super Dog.  (Yeah, I'm saving my beefs with that mongrel to come for a FFF entry.)  So even if you read a story that "sucked", there's still a great chance you'll find a majority of your current issue entertaining!

I was only ever able to find two of the "Adventure Comics" Dollar Comics, and those were treasure troves!  I may not agree with the non-Kirby-involved "New Gods" conclusion, but that Don Newton artwork is to DIE for!  And those Flash stories were fun, and you got the Elongated Man being featured in his own stories.  You'd have to be insane to turn fun like that aside.  Another tradition that was reinvigorated from the initial 60's project were one-off specials for the Dollar Comics program.  Such books included reprints of the Len Wein/Berni Wrightson "Swamp Thing" run, new super-specials for Wonder Woman and Batman, and even behind-the-scenes material for "Superman 2"!

Alas, all good things cannot last, and the line was discontinued in 1983.  However, for a brief window of time in the 2000's, the 80 Page Giant format was resurrected.  Of course, they were hardly a mere "Dollar Comic" these days, but 80 Pages for around five dollars is not too shabby of a deal.  (Now you just pay nearly that much for a single regular issue.  Old man grump and grouch...)  I did pick up a few of these latter 80 Page Giants.  Some, like the JLA example I provided you an illustration of, were giant adventures.  Others, like the Superman and Batman 80 Page Giants were almost successors to the "Superman Family" and "Batman Family" titles of the 70's and 80's periods. 

In conclusion, one could argue that these books were an example of quantity over quality in terms of page count.  I know I've read MORE than a few stories from various issues that made me mutter and wonder what the hell just passed my eyes.  BUT having the oversized option to try out various creators' endeavors, and feeling like the money you spend on a book is justified by the amount of pages you're handling... Nothing can defeat that base level of satisfaction!