Learning to Love the Legion

Today's blog is about a current phase in my comic book reading life.  (Note I said "comic book reading life".  When current phases in my regular life take an upswing, you all will be the first to know.)  There's been a group of superheroes that I've only had passing encounters with throughout my life.  I believe I may have first encountered them in "Crisis on Infinite Earths #12", and it wasn't until my very early teenage years that I finally bought a book featuring these particular characters.  But in the past few years, I've been trying to reconcile some of my questionable feelings about this particular team, and find my joy in their adventures.  I speak of the heroes of the 30th Century, those teens... or maybe twenty-somethings at some points... that preserve peace through an entire galaxy.  I speak of the Legion of Superheroes.

For a brief... VERY brief... history lesson, the Legion was first introduced in "Adventure Comics #247", when the title was helmed by Superboy.  (You know, the one that isn't a super-powered baby that drives me nuts.)

R.J. Brande, a wealthy man of the 30th Century, seeing young heroes in action saving the general populace, decided to fund the activities of a galaxy spanning force for peace and justice in the universe.  As one can guess between the "Who's Who" entry picture, and the first appearance picture, their ranks have grown just a smidge between the years.  Also, a fun thing about earlier stories featuring the Legion; if you wanted to know what time they resided in, just add 1,000 years to the current publishing year of the book you're reading!  I credit various podcasters that have talked about the Legion for that factoid. 

Now for my OWN origin story with the Legion.  As mentioned in retrospect, I did first seem them upon a random purchase of "Crisis #12".  It's funny, in a way, that that was my one and only issue of that series.  I came in for a universal shift in the DC continuity... RIGHT at its conclusion.  Obviously, so many characters in that issue I was left blanking on... including a bunch of young heroes chilling with Brainiac and Darkseid, as they watched the final confrontation between the combined might of established heroes and the Anti-Monitor.  I would like to say this was the definitive "Legion" moment for me, but again, they were just random characters at the time I had zilch ideas or conceptions about.  No, my first real taste of the Legion came from a local comic shop I used to visit when the concept of allowances first entered my life.  I came up with the notion that if I bought older comics with higher page counts, I was stretching my dollar that much more.  Truth be told, no one can blame me for that reasoning!  And at said store, they usually had GREAT prices on used copies of "DC Best of Blue Ribbon" digests.  I believe they were a buck a pop!  So 100 pages for a dollar... I'm actually STILL sold on that concept.  I grabbed any digest I could get my hands on... even that weird "Strange Sports" collection which featured a headlining story of the DC Heroes in a baseball game against the DC Villains.  But this is also what lead me to my first REAL travel into Legion lore...

The members of the Legion, from my first impression, sometimes bordered on the pleasantly accepting... to the downright incredulous.  ("Bouncing Boy"?  Really?  And this "Proty 2" thing they let hang around?  A glob of snot is NOT a pet.)  But that particular digest, with a solid block of continuous adventures involving a group of assassins, and the villain group I seem to establish foremost with the Legion, the Fatal Five, was certainly enough to whet my appetite for a larger slice of the DC Universe.  The only issue was... it was just a whetted appetite, not an outright ravening hunger.  I picked up a few more of the Legion-centric digests, but that's about it.  Never explored their regular title.  My next phase in Legion interest came about 14 years later, when "Final Crisis" launched, and that deluge of spin-off mini-series that were in connection... however tenuous... to the main series.  One such series I KNEW I wanted to pick up was written by one of my then-favorite writers, Geoff Johns, and featured penciling chores by the nigh-divine George Perez.  I speak of "Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds".

Now THIS was probably my main portal into mere passing interest to a more desirous path to finding out more about what Legion may come after such a mega-event.  After this mini-series wrapped, I did actively follow the Legion title until its very destruction under the nuclear bomb that was the "New 52".  The unusual thing was I was totally for following the adventures of the new version of the Legion, but I didn't exactly see why I should backtrack to the supposed "glory years" of the team.  Not until one Christmas, when two dear friends of mine gifted me with three tabloid-sized comics from the 70's.  (And because of that, they also instigated my current interest in trying to collect tabloid comics...)  One was a Marvel "Conan" treasure, another was a DC "Ghosts" anthology... but one was wholly original material, and you can guess who was featured in it...

Now THIS book, with it's stunning artwork by Mike Grell, and fun story by Cary Bates, was the book that now has me currently exploring those periods of the Legion's past that I have neglected.  But you know, I've not yet illustrated what my initial issues with the Legion were... and still are obstacles I've yet to overcome.  I'll keep this brief:

• The size of the group can sometimes make it difficult to keep track of team members... despite how individualized they are.
• Their adventures seem to be more "personal" in detail.  It doesn't seem like they tackle tasks that affect other people all too often.
• I still can't get over some members' validity, or the perceived ridiculousness of their powers.
• Not exactly a consistently stellar rogues' gallery.  Maybe that first Fatal Five exposure spoiled me?

But what keeps me going, and curious, are these positive factors... on which I end this article on!

• Personal conflicts are allowing me to learn more about team members, which is filling my knowledge gaps.
• Thankfully stories don't throw ALL members of the team into the mix at one time.
• Reoccurring villains that do show up have started to interest me.  Bring on more Legion of Super-Villain stories, already!
• I'm also starting to accept some initially doubted characters.  Oddly enough, I want to see MORE Bouncing Boy.  But shame that the period I'm reading from has him separated from the team.
• Being a purely male sexist comic reader, I dare say the Legion has the best ratio of hot female heroes in comparison to ANY existing team.  Seriously, fellas, check it out. 

An EXTREMELY Prejudiced Crossover!

After a week and a day, I once more open the doors to the realm of insanity that was Image Comics' "Extreme Studios" imprint.  The main difference from last Friday's "Funnies" Foolishness entry, and today's entry, is aside from sharing the same universe, we have a legit title-to-title CROSSOVER EVENT!  Aside from dabbling in cross references between books, up until this event, I don't believe any branch of the company had designs for an inter-title crossover event.  That includes Mark Silvestri's "Top Cow Studios", Erik Larsen's "Highbrow Studios", Jim Valentino's "Shadowline Studios", Jim Lee's "Homage Studios"... and Todd McFarlane's "Give Me All Your Money So I Can Buy Hockey Teams and Baseballs Studios".  Nope, our master of questionable anatomy, Rob Liefeld, was the first to initiate a crossover event at Image!  I bring you, "Extreme Prejudice"!

I also bring you an entry that may be VERY scattershot in summary, because there is ZILCH information in detail for "Extreme Prejudice" on the internet.  Go figure; you can find funny cat videos in droves, but such a "stellar" event in the Image Universe gets barely a nod!  But unless you possess fifty bucks to buy the single copy of the hardcover trade from Amazon... and yes, I checked that earlier today... your event crossover checklist goes as follows:

• Part 1- "Team Youngblood #7"
• Part 2- "Brigade #8"
• Part 3- "Bloodstrike #9"
• Part 4- "Supreme #11"
• Part 5- "Team Youngblood #8"
• Part 6- "Brigade #9"
• Part 7- "Bloodstrike #10"

(For an added note, if you're seeking these issues on an individual basis, good luck in finding a copy of "Supreme #11".  Geez, even when the "impact" of the series had cooled off some, that issue was near IMPOSSIBLE to find!)

Before I begin, you may notice two key Extreme Studios titles are missing from the crossover listing: "Prophet" and the Image line launcher, "Youngblood".  At this time, I believe "Prophet" was still just getting through his introductory storyline, and "Youngblood" as a book was inactive, and would remain thus until about 1994.  (For the record, this event took place in 1993.)  The crux of this storyline is VERY simple to describe, even without a detailed accounting to make reference from.  The Extreme Studios superheroes have to band together after an accident at Quantum Base... under de sea... releases an infamous super-powered being named Quantum.  Who is Quantum?  To be fully honest, he was Magneto, without the magnetic powers, but still with the influence of the magnetic poles of the Earth to fuel his power.  And yes... to continue the not-at-all subtle riffing on Magneto, he also had an axe to grind with us "normals", and made requests of the teams assembled to defeat him to become part of Quantum's quest of Earthly conquest. 

One interesting thing to note is that ALL of the full-fledged teams in this crossover were the primary government-sponsored teams of the Extreme Studios universe.  In a cute attempt to still play nice with the other corners of the Image Comics creations, there's also mentions of involving Jim Lee's "Stormwatch" team on the events, but as far as I can recall, they NEVER stepped foot in the Extreme Studios universe.  (So in a way, trying to call on Stormwatch in any Image book would be like me trying to call up Rose McGowan for a date.  Wishful thinking; not gonna happen.)  The one solo operator, Supreme, has one issue dedicated to the crossover, but his impact is felt in the series, because he's one of the primary casualties.  Yes!  Quantum zaps Supreme of his powers!  (This plays into Supreme later relying on Thor's hammer to substitute for his lost powers.  ... And yes, the Extreme Studios universe had it's own Thor.)

If none of this is sounding terribly deep... It's because the storyline really ISN'T all that deep.  Each issue can be summarized like this: Up until Supreme is power-neutered, each team assaults Quantum on their own.  Upon realizing this isn't the best solution, each team puts aside their differences, and decide to unify their assault on Quantum.  (Which is rather difficult for Brigade and Bloodstrike, who after the "Blood Brothers" crossover that launched the "ongoing" Brigade series, and Bloodstrike as a series period, the team leaders Battlestone and Cabbot have a nasty brotherly rift between them.)  The one seed of "subtlety" laid for the book was introducing the characters to form a team that would launch after the defeat of Quantum: the New Men.  Eh... I suppose I'll mention the members of this rather unforgettable team:

• Reign- Team leader who stole Adam Warlock's gimmick of a powered gem on his forehead.
• Bryd- Not Hawkman or Angel... at all.
• Dash- Also not Jessie Quick or any other generic super-speedster... at all.
• Exit- Not Nightcrawler, only without the sulphurous transportation gas cloud.
• Kodiak- Ugh... Can you also guess not Sasquatch, only if Sasquatch was an obnoxious teenager?

What's interesting about this crossover was how it was an exercise in false promises.  Okay, for the most part, the Extreme Studios universe villains were forgettable.  (If you can recall ANYTHING about Giger, Darkthorne, Birds of Prey or Genocide, I actually encourage you to leave a comment.)  But we were promised these threats to the universe WOULD unite in "Extreme Prejudice", saying this would be THE Image event that would change everything.  We were also promised some involvement by the proper Youngblood "Home" team, and Prophet.  Both were no-shows.  Instead, you could perceive this series was the parallel of the X-Men's "Fatal Attraction" event, only without nearly enough of the history.

In the end, what was the legacy of "Extreme Prejudice"?  Supreme actually maintained his power loss for an extended period of his series run.  (Another drastic event in not-Superman's life will be touched upon when I eventually write about the "Extreme Sacrifice" event.)  Bloodstrike was destroyed... for REALS... for an extended period of that series' run.  (And the sole surviving member of the Bloodstrike team was actually a transplant from Youngblood, in Chapel.)  Brigade carried on until the team started falling apart from internal stresses, resulting in a rebirthed team of various pickings so disjointed, they should've just called themselves "The Champions: The Next Generation".  Next Men had a mini-series launched after the event, then a regular series, and had at least two title restructurings before the concept faded into obscurity.  Quantum apparently DID make some future reappearances, but I personally didn't encounter him in any of my latter Extreme Studios readings.  As for Team Youngblood, they held the line until the "Youngblood" title could be relaunched.  The two Youngblood teams shared narratives for a few issues, and then came "Extreme Sacrifice"... and the twain were no longer "besties".  But that's another story for another time...

P.S.  In case you were wondering why I didn't make specific notes about writers/artists/etc... It's because the story wasn't spectacularly written, and the artwork was Liefeld house style.  Odd shaped feet... when they did appear... and all.

Friday "Funnies" Foolishness: Blasted Babies!

Second post, not the same as the first, and what was originally intended to be my Friday Foolishness entry.  This one came to me after reading an issue of "Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane".  Oh... taking the mick out of this book would be all-too-easy, but it wasn't the main story that called me into action.  Sure, a lot of what I read of Missus Lane's solo adventures from the late 60's are pretty ridiculous, but I ran into a secondary story that set a fire under me.  I do understand the Silver Age of DC comics were a different era, and that they tended towards the "goofy" side.  I get that; I accept it.  I even can just enjoy some of those stories just because they're fast-paced tales that wrap up fairly quickly.  But if there's one concept from this age of comics that I've really developed a pet peeve over, especially for the Superman line of books... it's adventures of the characters as "babies".

 

Let me initially state that I'm not opposed to stories featuring Superboy, as he traditionally was portrayed as a early to mid teenager.  BUT when we turn back the clock to Clark's infant to toddler years, that's when I start to roll my eyes and groan.  You see, most of the stories revolve around a "precocious" Super-Tot getting into some kind of misunderstanding... because he's young and "inexperienced"... and setting things right, because even as a baby, he does the right thing because it's the right thing to do.  And since he's a Super-Baby, he can talk.  But since he's not mature enough to grasp the English language subtleties, he has a Frankenstein's Monster cadence to his speech.  (Ironically, Bizarro would adopt a similar speech pattern.  Except Bizarro's not forcing us to read a story about a baby in a Superman costume beating up criminals, so that imperfect clone gets a pass.)

I think the main reason why Super-Baby bothers me so much is the Superman mythology REALLY didn't need stories about Clark being generally an icon of heroics... even as a bloody toddler!  As previously mentioned, I can buy a Superboy story... even though I tend to prefer the John Byrne "Man of Steel" approach when Superman didn't even exist as a concept until Clark's adulthood... because even Superboy stories carry a bit more solid storytelling behind them.  But even on a "shut my brain down" mentality, I just cannot buy into a story where a child who should be spending his time teething, filling his diapers, and looking adorable... is flying, talking, and beating up bad guys.  Seriously, it bugs the living heck out of me.

But how does this tie back in to my introductory reading experience I wrote about in my first paragraph?  Well, in that very issue of "Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane", we were... ahem... "treated" to an adventure of Baby Lois Lane.  Oh... Joy...

The story involved how Lois was so curious and bold, even as a baby, and how a quirk of fate brought her into possession of a lost toy of Kal-El's on Earth which saves her life.  ... Never mind the fact that space-time differences really SHOULDN'T put Lois and Kal around the same age, since the amazing time span between his initial launching from Krypton onto Earth should've taken a wee bit longer than just a few days or so.  But connecting their development so closely sort of cheapens their first meeting in "Action Comics #1".  But then again, this WAS the period that Mort Weisenger was fixated on connecting every bit of Superman lore into each other to create a grand mythological tapestry.  Think of that editor as being like George Lucas... only according to many stories I've read, a much more verbally abusive and stubborn George Lucas.

But thankfully, we didn't have to wait for "Crisis on Infinite Earths" to wipe away the concept of Superbaby.  I know that stage of Clark's development received a story or two in the "Superman Family" anthology book, but they were dropped, and the "Toddler of Steel" dropped out of storytelling sight for a solid five or so years.  In the words of baby Clark Kent, "Me am so happy there's no more stupid Superbaby stories!"

Fourth of July "Funnies" Foolishness

How does a person like myself celebrate the Fourth of July?  Well... considering I'm operating on my girlfriend's sleep schedule for work, no late evening fireworks for me.  And as for parties?  My family is having a July Birthday package party... on Sunday the 7th.  But thankfully the IFC Channel has come through for me with a weekend marathon of the Adam West "Batman" television series.  AND I decided earlier this week to celebrate the occasion with not one, but TWO, Friday entries.  One I had decided upon as of last weekend, but another hit me in a blast of inspiration this past Wednesday.  You see, I did have a two-part blog entry plan in mind as early as last weekend, but aside from the Friday Foolishness entry, the July 4th idea remained nebulous.  Oh, I toyed with trying to create a top 5 patriotic hero list, but I wasn't up to that level of research for the week.  (Aside from feeling mopey about my professional searches, I also managed to catch a brief summer cold.)  And... to be fair, a patriotic super hero list would be fairly predictable.  I mean, we ALL basically know who would've ranked number one.  I'll give you a hint: he was in a major motion picture as of this past April...

But an idea came to me, when I decided to take a bit of the mick out of DC for my initial entry.  And a certain team came into connection with the holiday... A group of goofs that would make for a star-spangled gimme for the Fourth of July.  It also didn't hurt that in their very first appearance, they tangled with another group of characters that were... questionable in their quality, as well.  Ladies and gentlemen, light your short-fused sparklers in honor of DC's Force of July.

Jobber Role Call!

• Major Victory: Our blonde beefcake, who possesses a super suit, granting him enhanced strength, flight, and energy projectiles.
• Lady Liberty: Monument cosplayer that can project energy blasts from her torch... and yes, she can fly, too.
• Mayflower: Soon to be sued by Poison Ivy for copyright infringement for her ability to control plant life.  (But who looks kind of hot in a pilgrim costume...  Just saying...)
• Silent Majority: Also soon to be sued by Multiple Man for his powers of multiplying his body.  May also be served with a lawsuit by the members of Devo for costume design theft.
• Sparkler: AKA the Mati of the group, who can shoot off "sparkler" blasts.  (Okay, so he came before Jubilee and Boom-Boom... but you get the drift.)  Oh, and huge surprise... HE CAN FLY!

This team first saw creative life in the first annual of a certain questionable group, namely "Batman and the Outsiders Annual #1".

To this day, I still wonder to myself; the Batman quit the Justice League around this time period to form THIS team?!?  But grievances about the Outsiders will come at a latter entry.  How the Force of July came into conflict with the Outsiders... and I should highlight the Outsiders aspect of this annual, since Batman really doesn't figure into the story, realizing this was far below his best interests... is the Force of July was manipulated by the government to battle the Outsiders.  It did involve some rather clandestine plots by corrupt government officials... proving little changes in politics in 30 years... and I do remember at the end of the annual, the Force of July and the Outsiders put their differences aside to tackle the REAL threat.  (I get the impression it involved some sort of mind control device.  Sorry, folks, but it's been a LONG time since I've read this particular annual.)  And according to the wisdom of Wikipedia, the team did put in another appearance in the pages of "Suicide Squad"... and, SPOILER ALERT, manages to get themselves killed off completely.  I'm sure at least one comic fan was shedding tears over that loss of such a "stellar" concept.

But was that the end of their DC interactions?  Nope!  Three universal reboots afterwards, following the events of "Infinite Crisis", Force of July did kind of reappear in the pages of "The Battle for Bludhaven" mini-series under the new brand name of Freedom's Ring.

Only Lady Liberty, Major Victory, and Silent Majority made the return trip from universal restructuring, and the interesting thing about Freedom's Ring is it essentially transformed into the new version of "Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters".  So, the spirit of liberty rings true for a bunch of no-namers that decide to unite for a "greater cause" in the pages of our comic books!

What Have You DOOM! DOOM! DOOM! DOOM! For Me, Lately?

The timing for this entry couldn't be any better, because it feels like I'm having more of a sour than sweet pre Fourth of July in my life.  Not to dwell on too many details, but there are literally days where it feels like the steps I take towards improvement aren't even steps forward: just a constant reverse gear.  Still, remain calm, and try and find my happy spot...

And part of my happy spot is this blog.  Remember how I said, yesterday, that I might be returning to the slightly critical edge towards Marvel for today's entry?  I'm still holding true to that planned entry.  (Believe it or not, I put a LOT more thought into topics for this blog than I seemed to EVER do for Action Attraction!)  So, Doc Brown, please warm up that Delorean so we can take a trip back in time to the summer of 1990.  You see, at the House of Ideas, one artist had aspirations to be a writer... and probably to earn a larger paycheck, and stroke his ego..., but the title he was currently on did not allow that.  Still he had some attachment to the main character... or realized his name attached to the already red-hot popularity of said main character could earn him further buttloads of money.  So Marvel decided to give this "little known" artist/soon-to-be writer his own book featuring a character that wasn't going to be called "Amazing", "Spectacular", or even "Web Of" for this solo book.  The artist/writer was Todd McFarlane, and the title was "Spider-Man".

I could almost say this first issue was the main catalyst of the 90's speculator "boom" for comics.  Take a hot brand-name artist, attach him to a character that has already grown massively popular due to said artist, and ALSO release various versions of the first issue with special edition covers, and you have various avenues towards people believing this issue will put their children through college!  Now... I'm sure Todd McFarlane is a wonderful family man, and that he's very awesome to his fans, and hell... when this book came out, I bought it right off the stands.  (I basically wasn't even in the collecting radar when McFarlane was working on "Amazing Spider-Man", and I only ever picked up a few issues when Erik Larsen was the successor artist.)  But in recent years, I've soured some on Todd's creative output, and after having watched a documentary on the man, I also really notice he could teach J. Jonah Jameson some lessons in being a professional-level jerk.  BUT that all being said, this first issue to a new Spidey book, and the opening to the "Torment" storyline, was a record-setter for Marvel for that 1990 Summer season, and I bought into it hook-line-and sinker.  And I'll be fair: for all the issues I have about McFarlane's "Spider-Man" run, this is probably the best storyline he created for that phase in his career.  ... But as we'll soon find out, that's not exactly a stellar claim.

The story, in a nutshell, goes fairly simply.  Peter Parker notices some newspaper headlines about the Lizard coming back, and slaughtering people in the streets.  Spider-Man takes the fight to the Lizard, who is tied into service via mystic means by Callista, former wife of Kraven the Hunter.  Once the Lizard hauls Spidey's maimed self to Callista, she intends on taking mystical revenge on Spider-Man for causing her husband's suicide.  (I'm trying to remember if she inflicted a physical illness on Spider-Man, or if it was all just mental anguish.)  But regardless, once Spider-Man makes his escape, he's in for a looney trip of hallucinations, physical torment, and brawls with the Lizard.  If this sounds like a fairly muddled summary, it's because it's a fairly muddled storyline.  Oh!  And I nearly forgot one other key player in this story: Peter's then-wife Mary Jane Watson-Parker!  Yeah... she's P.O'ED that Peter had the "AUDACITY" to hit the streets to stop the Lizard's rampage.  Yes... Saving other people's lives is pretty darned selfish.  So what does she decide to do?  Why... go out DANCING!

I do remember the conclusion of the story offers Peter and Mary Jane reconciling with each other about their individual stubbornness.  And since the Lizard still was a repeat offender in the Spider-Man universe, and I KNOW Callista appeared in some issues of Daredevil around 1993, she didn't remain inactive after "Torment" finished.  But she should take some satisfaction that Peter was haunted by the brain-blasted hallucination of Sergei Kravinoff during the story's progress.  Even she strikes a dance pose in joy over that!

I'll give Todd McFarlane his due credit for this mini-series before I start hacking at it like the Lizard.  With Todd handling most of the art chores for this book, and the coloring scheme of the artwork, his Spider-Man work NEVER looked so interesting until that point.  I'd say this was the beginning of Todd starting to experience with a more "moody" art atmosphere that he would later perfect with "Spawn", and it was a truly distinctive art study.  And as I mentioned in a previous paragraph, the story probably does have the best momentum out of all of McFarlane's "Spider-Man" issues.  Since I can't remember much about the conclusive half of the tale, it may not be PERFECT, but I know for a fact that "Torment" is a story out of that writer/artist run I'd read again in a heartbeat.  It may spin its wheels for stretches, but the progression is there.  (I'll give you a comparison: the following storyline, which featured Wolverine and the Wendigo, went for 6 issues... but the story was sluggish and uninteresting to my eyes, making it feel like Todd was trying his best to make what SHOULD have been a two-parter that much more lengthy.)  And he did have a knack for the flow of action for this introductory storyline.  Those showdowns with the Lizard did pack some tension into their page spans!

BUT... as I mentioned, with the good must also come the bad.  Okay... Spider-Man, to my perceptions, is a character about guilt and internalizing his worries, BUT he still projects a fun and wise-cracking exterior to keep himself grounded while battling various menaces.  (And I do believe Peter takes a small amount of joy in making a difference as Spider-Man.)  When this book launched, Todd McFarlane took that light-hearted concept of our Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man... and flushed that right down the toilet.  This is far from a cheerful story, regardless of the couples' bonding ending.  People are killed in horrendous ways, the story atmosphere is DRENCHED in "grim and grit" that was so popular around that time span, and Spidey hardly ever quips in the tale.  So this is essentially a "Spawn" dry-run for all the WRONG reasons.  And the main weakness of McFarlane's "Spider-Man" run is none of his stories really feel like they mattered.  I'm not one that is insistent on tight continuities, but his writing was trying oh-so-hard to say this book was IMPORTANT, but most of his writing is just dark cliche-ridden claptrap.  It also felt like, aside from Spidey, Todd just didn't care to even keep his characterizations consistent with the rest of the universe.  I have to be blunt: Mary Jane is wholly unlikable in this introductory arc.  I REALLY dislike it when writers try to shoehorn established characters into their own storytelling agendas.  So having Mary Jane go back to her pre-marital days of just wanting to have fun, just to spite her husband going off to help the GENERAL CITIZENRY... Yeah, that peeved me off, somewhat.  And lest I forget... the cliche that EVERYONE remembers about this storyline.  The one that, unless you're talking about a grand Latverian monarch, you tie into this series...

Doo-doo-doo-doo-DOOM!  Yes, Todd... We get it... Spidey's undergoing mystical issues, and this story is "dark and serious", but did that sound effect have to be used ad nauseum CONSTANTLY in the story?  You're eventually left feeling like Spidey in the above panel.  Just stop it, Todd.  Just.  Stop.  It.

But that was hardly the end for Todd's run on the adjectiveless series!  As I mentioned before, there was a 6-part storyline set up in Canada with Logan.  That was also a bundle of cheer, dealing with child death and hunters being murdered.  Then we had a 2-part storyline with Hobgoblin and Ghost Rider, with a bunch of gibberish about innocent and guilty souls, and them fighting at a church.  Following that, another 2-part storyline with homeless people congregating around Morbius the Living Vampire... and for some weird reason, the return of the black Spider-Man costume.  This all came to a head over Todd wanting more creative control... and money, because sports collectibles don't just fall into your lap..., and because of controversy over a panel in a "Spider-Man" crossover with "X-Force", and McFarlane rode off into the self-publishing horizon to form Image Comics, and to create the "Spawn" franchise.  ... Which will receive its day in court on blog another time. 

All in all, while I did buy into "Torment" as a storyline, that was quite enough for me of what Todd had in mind for our favorite "wall-crawler".  His run may have been stylistic and atmospheric, but it was drained of all traditional Spidey "good will", and that is a deal-killer for me. 

As for tomorrow's entry, let's just say I have not one... but TWO surprises to discuss... and neither of which will involve pinning a rose on DC's nose.  Yes, even THEY get the Friday "Funnies" Foolishness bonk on the head, for a change!

Orange You Glad You're The Idol 'O Millions?

I feel like I've been a bit too harsh, or at the very least judgmental, about Marvel product lately.  (To give you a sneak peek, I'll be riding that train again, come tomorrow.)  So to balance out some negativity, I wanted to discuss one of my favorite Marvel characters, and give him his moment in the sun.  ... And he can take his time in the sun, since he doesn't have much skin... in the traditional sense... to burn!

Benjamin J Grimm may not have been my first Marvel character introduction, but he's been an unflagging reliable character in my estimation.  Born on the roughshod streets of Yancy, as a street tough, to college football star, to fighter pilot, Ben lived a full life even BEFORE the fateful rocket test launch that Reed Richards instigated.  After that, Ben transformed into a creature with a rough orange rocky hide, developing enhanced strength... but also crippling self doubt at times, and a hair-trigger temper.  Now when The Thing first debuted in "Fantastic Four #1", he was pretty much in the same mold Stan Lee wrote ALL of his "bruiser" hero characters for the first few years; quick to anger at the "normals", bemoaning his fate, which means us readers should feel sympathy for the man under the monster.

But over time, the Thing's personality started to develop some genuinely likable quirks.  Sure, he did still have bouts over his being a "freak" of the team, but he started to joke more, show off more of his vulnerable side, and be the gruff... yet loveable... Ben Grimm we still essentially have to this day.  But the funny thing about Ben Grimm is, despite his design evolutions, he has retained the same developed characteristics for over 50 years of comic existence.  Take, for example, his first "smoothing over" of his lumpy appearance:

This is considered the "traditional" Thing appearance; distinctly larger than life, but with the pronounced eyebrows, and "humanization" of his physique, it allowed Jack Kirby, and subsequent artists, to provide Ben with more expression and emotion.  Heck, this appearance even stuck around when circumstance called for Ben to be transformed back to human for a stretch of time, and had to make use of an exoskeletal suit of Thing "armor" to be part of the Fantastic Four!  We then jump into the 80's for the Thing's next evolution.

It's not just solely Ben's more "spiky" appearance that changed with the time period; for a stretch of continuity, Reed and Sue Richards left the team, so Ben was declared leader.  (I'm sure Johnny Storm was a HUGE fan of that decision... but who gives a toss what that jerk thinks?  Yes, in a future article, I plan on discussing my general beefs with the Human Torch.)  It was a bit of an appearance departure, and the leadership role did create an interesting dynamic... especially when that team's Ms. Marvel was transformed into a "She-Thing", and Ben had to act as a therapist for her.  One more appearance digression bears mention: the 90's Thing "helmet".

Oh yes... Whatever most creative teams were hopped up on in the 90's also carried over into the Fantastic Four.  (Need I mention Invisible Woman's "boob window" costume?)  Y'see, in a particular story, the temporary FF team of Hulk, Spider-Man, Ghost Rider, and Wolverine came back to fight the traditional FF.  And because Logan can generally be a jerk, he took a chunk of stone from Ben's face, leaving him with an unhealing scar.  ... Because that was a brilliant creative direction...  Ahem...

Regardless of the phases that Benjamin J Grimm has went through over the years, he's also been a... pardon the pun... rock for the Marvel Universe.  I know that when the Thing shows up for a story, I'll experience a spectrum of satisfying character moments... along with some kick-butt fight sequences!  (If Marvel made a trade entirely of the Thing/Hulk showdowns, they may as well just immediately take my dwindling resources of money at that very moment.)  And it's because the Thing is one of the most unique characters in the Marvel Universe that he was also gifted with one of the greatest team-up titles of all time "Marvel Two-In-One" along with a few solo series.  I'd even dare say he's a character that mixed media interpretations manage to keep the essential spirit of.  Maybe not always necessarily the spirit, but cartoons and movies tend to do Aunt Petunia's nephew right for the core characteristics. 

I believe it's the fact that we've all had moments of feeling like the "monster" of a group, but also carrying a wry sense of humor about the cards life has dealt us, that makes Ben Grimm so popular with comic fans.  He's a character I didn't mind also being allowed into the Avengers ranks... and we can't forget his catch phrases!  For cripes' sake, if CM Punk can use "It's clobberin' time!" as part of his WWE ring entrance, you've hit the big time, Benjy!  This hump-day, Benjamin J Grimm, you're given a solid tribute courtesy of Metal Mikey.  ... Thankfully, not in care of the Yancy Street Gang!

The Birthing of Skeletor

You may... or may not... know I have just a TEENY thing about Skeletor from "Masters of the Universe".  Maybe it's because the animated series was one of the earliest series I feel like I've regularly followed while growing up.  Maybe it's because the character has a truly inspired villainous appearance.  Maybe it's because I owned at least two versions of his action figure while growing up.  (The standard removable armor version and the "battle impact" chest armor version!)  ... Or maybe it's because the character embodies a sense of menace and threat... while still being silly, and just a tidge bit "sassy".  Seriously, just watch clips from YouTube of Skeletor laying down some tongue lashings to his subordinates!  Whatever sorcery Skeletor worked on my impressionable young mind, it carried over 30 years of my life, and he's STILL one of my favorite fictional characters.  (And, thanks to my nasally Midwestern accent, I can do a KILLER impression of the man!)

Some of you may now be wondering, "Why the hell are you talking about Skeletor in a comics blog?".  To this, I say, "Time to be schooled."  Because Skeletor has an EXTREMELY valid legacy in comics, that I shall touch upon every so often in this blog, in chronological order.  I will say the ONLY medium that won't be explored in overly long detail is the mini-comics found packaged with various "Masters of the Universe" action figures.  Mainly due to the fact I have ZILCH access to those.   But I can begin the series with the comic book debut of Skeletor, his lackey Beast-Man, some guy that calls himself Man-At-Arms (I allege that, due to the fact that he's depicted without a mustache for this appearance)... and some minor characters that went absolutely nowhere named He-Man and Superman.

"DC Comics Presents #47" was the first comic book appearance of the "Masters of the Universe" franchise, and it makes sense it would debut with the early 80's cash cow of the DC Universe, Superman.  This won't be an overly complex synopsis of the book, but I shall discuss the salient points of the book... and in one particular case, a MAJOR difference to the character of He-Man in this issue.  You see, we're introduced to Prince Adam in essentially the back alleys of Eternia... Drinking, carousing with women, and getting into barroom brawls!

Admittedly, Cringor is still around, but this is a FAR cry from the usual fop that would hang around the Castle of Eternia, being lectured by King Randor... or getting his butt whipped by Teela.  (For the record, she could literally whip my butt anytime of the week.)  This must've still been in the rough character outline period where "Conan" was still the seed of the universe's development.  And while I didn't drag up any pictures, take my word for it that Man-At-Arms is baby-faced for his first appearance.  No 'stache, no Man-At-Arms in MY estimation!  (But thankfully, we're spared a first appearance by Orko in this comic.  Ugh... Lousy little jerk...)

So what's Skeletor up to in this issue?  I'll give you three guesses:

• Bemoaning another lonely Saturday night, his advances rejected by Evil Lynn... yet again.
• Engaging in a royal court debate with Randor about his legitimate claim to rulership of Eternia... and insanely high property taxes on Snake Mountain.
• Gain control of the Sword of Power, and Castle Greyskull, to truly become Master of the Universe.

... I ask again, which one sounds the most Skeletor-like?  Anyways, in his spell-casting, he manages to snag Clark Kent/Superman into Eternia to essentially act as his "champion" against He-Man.  Which initially DOES work, because remember that magic is one of Superman's weaknesses.

Of course, Superman doesn't immediately agree to Skeletor's malicious planning... or being referred to as "strangely garbed".  (No offense, Skeletor, my friend... But calling anyone else "strangely garbed": Pot, meet kettle.)  However, when He-Man arrives on the scene, to put a halt to Skeletor's plan of conquest, Skeletor puts the magic whammy on Superman.  And this time, it's to COMMAND the Man of Steel to the attack.

Alas, while I have grown in appreciation of Curt Swan's artwork, since he was never that strong in detailed fight sequences, we're short-changed some solid fisticuffs between Superman and He-Man.  But in conclusion... for a very quick wrap-up, and since I don't have the issue currently on me for reference, Superman regains his sense of common good, they both team up to battle the TRUE evil of Skeletor, and both he and Beast Man are vanquished... for now.  Because like any great villain, you cannot keep Skeletor down.  (I would lump Beast Man into that category... but calling him a "great villain" is kind of like calling NFL Superpro an essential element of the Marvel Universe.)  And in my next eventual entry in the Skeletor Comics History series, we'll see that while he didn't really cross paths with the DC Universe proper much after this, he DID figure into a "Masters of the Universe" comic run through the company name!

... And I say "much after this", because there WAS a sequel... or was it a prequel?... story insert in Superman books in 1983, about a year after this "DC Comics Presents" issue was published.  But that, too, is another story for another time!