The Terrible... Or Tolerable... Threes Of The DC New 52 Part 2: The Lowlights

Quick recap from yesterday's part of the "New 52" third anniversary experience review:

• "Flashpoint" instigated the changeover to our new universe, and I'm STILL unimpressed with the "event".
• Certain characters really kicked themselves up to a whole new level in the new universe, such as Aquaman and Wonder Woman.
• I intentionally started off positively for my thoughts on the "New 52", because beginning on a grouchy note would NOT serve as a celebration.

But now that we've all ate, drank, and were merry, it's time for a bit of a "New 52" hangover.  It's time to look at the upchucked elements of our initial revelries, and see that not everything from our first night of "bliss" looked so lovely in the following morning. 

I will begin this with how DC REALLY started off the "New 52" on a very odd note, with the very first book being launched as "Justice League".  Written by Geoff Johns, and illustrated by Jim "Deadlines mean NOTHING to me" Lee, we were introduced to the "New 52's" big guns via this team book.  ... Oh, we didn't meet them ALL in the first issue, because that'd be "stupid"!  No, we had to have the team fully assembled by the conclusion of the first six-issue story arc.  (This was later adapted into the animated feature, "Justice League War".)  Not to bury the lead, both this introductory arc and the animated adaptation SUCKED ROYALLY.  We had characters acting like complete self-indulgent jerks, a rushed introduction to the threat of Darkseid to the new universe, and lackluster action.  The high moments of the "New 52" would evidence themselves to my regards, in due time, but this first salvo ALSO set the tone with what I could expect for A LOT of my reading experiences in DC's new playground.   Here's a few examples to chew on.

 

BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT- David Finch never met a monthly schedule he liked for ANY comic project he was attached to.  And for my tastes, even in his "better days" of illustration, he was mostly "alright" in my regards.  (The big beef I have with David Finch as an artist is that he doesn't know how to really depict vibrant action sequences, and his character faces/bodies are VERY hard to distinguish from each other.)  But when you mix an inexplicable "superstar" artist with a TERRIBLE Batman story, you just have the recipe for disaster.  Even when Finch departed the title, I felt that "The Dark Knight" was a book that just felt plagued by WEIRD writing decisions.  I mean, we start off with a gratuitous butt-shot villainess called White Rabbit being involved with the spread of Bane's Venom concoction to the Batman rogue's gallery.  Another storyline details a new origin for the Mad Hatter, which feels GRATUITOUSLY dark and nasty for its own indulgent sake.  The world's greatest detective deserves a bit better than to be written and created by teams that seem BENT on generating stories more meat-headed than a steroided-up locker room gathering.

BATGIRL- It wasn't the return of Barbara Gordon as Batgirl that irritated me.  It wasn't the fact that SOMEHOW she would walk, again, after the spinal trauma that the Joker inflicted upon her that bothered me.  What DID really get my goat was that a writer I normally appreciated for her strong female characters... Gail Simone... REALLY dropped the ball giving Babs a new life.  Her take on Batgirl made a character that was a stable and intelligent element of the DC Universe as Oracle into a OVERLY neurotic... and rather irritating... Batgirl.  Couple that with introducing MANY forgettable villains, and pressing the James Gordon as a "psycho offspring" to Commissioner Gordon button, again, and you stirred up a book that both bored and bothered me.  I can't insist, enough, that Barbara Gordon was LEAGUES more interesting a character as Oracle... to this VERY DAY... and that Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown made for GREAT inheritors to the Batgirl legacy.  A few months back, a costume change was at least announced for Batgirl.  I hope for the best for the character, but at the same point, my cynical mind tells me you really can't put polish on existing fecal matter...

CATWOMAN- Speaking of leftovers in the litter box...  It's unusual that I offer up, in trade of two EXCELLENT female-helmed DC "New 52" titles, two others that are just pit stains in my personal regards.  I knew from the very first collection of the new Catwoman's adventures that this book was going to be terrible.  I mean AWFUL.  "Skin-emax" necking between Batman and Catwoman.  Unnecessary cheesecake display moments for Selena Kyle.  Yet ANOTHER book that featured pointless over-the-top grim violence.  As if that wasn't bad enough, we start with the writing of Judd Winick... AKA that guy I SWEAR made some unholy contract deal with the forces of the Underworld to continue in the comic's industry, and lead into Ann Nocienti's run.  I'm sorry to people that are fans of either creator, but NEITHER of them lull me into a sense that a book will actually be readable or enjoyable.

HAWK AND DOVE- I often tease and rib Rob Liefeld's original creations on this blog.  They're easy comic "critique" comedy fodder.  With that said, if I ever had the chance to meet Liefeld, I would actually be interested in the chance.  You can say what you want about his artistry... or his aversion to a regular schedule, as well... but you cannot deny the man IS passionate about the industry.  But with the "New 52" "Hawk and Dove", this book proved you really CANNOT go back home, again.  Y'see, one of Rob Liefeld's first projects was the initial late 80's "Hawk and Dove" mini-series for the post-Crisis DC Universe.  This was before "Liefeld" became a creative descriptive term.  Even in those fresh days of Liefeld's career, I have to be honest that Hawk and Dove were VERY shaky concepts at best.  I just could never fully back their own titles, because their concept and adventures weren't hooking me.  But let's just say the Liefeld of "NOW" is a different beast to the Liefeld of 20-years ago.  The anatomy is just a WEE bit more loose.  The sketchiness of his designs are a WEE bit more strong.  And as evidenced by this book being one of the first round cancellations for "New 52" titles, I was proven correct that "Hawk and Dove" are a WEE bit too lame to really establish a title of their own.  Regardless of if they're brothers, or the male/female pairing.

TEEN TITANS/WHATEVER THE LEGION IS/RAVAGERS- The New Teen Titans are in the same reckoning as the Legion of Super Heroes for me, as of late.  I was not previously passionate about them, but in recent years I've REALLY grown interested in catching up with their adventures.  I even followed the monthly books of the Teen Titans and the Legion leading up to their conclusions in the pre-"Flashpoint" universe, and enjoyed them.  Lemme be the "old man" for this topic: THESE AIN'T MY TEEN TITANS OR LEGION!  I've sampled some of the "Teen Titans" previous to "The Culling" event, and this "New 52" version rubbed me as far too abrasive.  Between a confusing backstory for Robin, a rather dull Superboy, and an IRKSOME Wonder Girl, and the brand new members of the team... along with Kid Flash... are shoved aside by the obnoxious elements.  Flash forward to "The Culling"... AKA "Battle Royale" for the comics... and we are introduced to the "Why Did They Even Bother?" Legion of Super Heroes team for the "New 52".  These characters were KIND OF like certain Legion members I recognized, but their personalities were so bland and nonexistent that they could've just been a generic 90's independent comic team shoved into the event. 

SHAZAM- I save my most potent shot of venom... not the Bane kind... for my last topic of discussion.  Remember how I mentioned that Geoff Johns could sometimes be off with his creative vision?  With his introduction of the "New 52" Captain Marvel... and PLEASE, DC, STOP WITH THIS "SHAZAM" STUPIDITY, because Marvel won't sue you over the Captain Marvel name... Geoff Johns proved to me he could have days as a creator SO FAR OFF, they're not even in the same universe as his less-than-impressive day.  This version of the Mightiest Mortal I hated.  I won't even hide it: I HATED this take on Captain Marvel.  Billy Batson being a self-indulgent jerk of a boy.  Sivana acting like a standard sinister government scientist.  The concept of Shazam being like a "Voltron" concept of multiple beings combining into one.  It takes a lot for me to not even finish a collection of a character's story.  I didn't even get to the point where Captain Marvel first shows up in the latest "Shazam" trade before I put this book aside in COMPLETE irritation and disgust.  Failure be the name not included in the amalgamation of the SHAZAM name.  (By the way, his inclusion in the "Justice League War" animated feature... IN EXCLUSION OF AQUAMAN... was just as terrible of an idea.)

Three years can contain a lot of ups-and-downs.  I still feel that DC Comics has a LOT to do to stabilize their universe to some kind of working order.  But I at least made sure to put a spotlight on what the company was doing RIGHT.  Now if only the rest of the books could follow suit...

The Terrible... Or Tolerable... Threes Of The DC New 52 Part 1: The Highlights

I owe my readers of a blog a MASSIVE apology for missing so many days of writings, this week.  I won't bog you all down with details... because one was my standard woes of losing sizable chunks of money with no actual income coming in, and another is more personal in nature... but this week could best be summed up by the phrase, "Dark night of the soul".  Seriously, there was a point as of this Wednesday and Thursday where I was feeling the weight of my worries, and my life was looking amazingly bleak.  Things HAVE started taking a turn towards the positive, so thus my... I hesitate to call them "flagging" spirits, because that would have indicated that they had ANY sense of a "breeze" to them... spirits have taken a slight upswing.  And I also have enough energy and momentum to start the engines running on the blog, again.  But I really am VERY sorry I let my own personal issues derail something you may/may not be enjoying, but are still reading.  I thank you very much for your patience!

One other side note from this week: I am DYING to either find more cheap copies of these books, or some kind soul wants to shoot their "garbage" out, but I HAVE to read more of the Continuity Comics titles for a blog entry!  I read an issue of "Armor" that was linked up to the "Deathwatch 2000" crossover... and it made me think THIS is what a comic book must play out like if Tommy Wiseau became a comics creator!

One last note: THANK YOU, EVERYONE, for reading this blog to begin with!  Even with a few days off, I FINALLY passed over 3,000 VIEWS!  That's activity in nearly three months than I EVER got for a full year's worth of "Action Attraction" recording downloads!  And I've yet to work out the specifics, but I'm thinking next month I may run my first blog-based contest, where the winner will receive a boatload of amazing comic swag in the mail!  Stay tuned...

Let's travel back to 2011: I was still doing fine with my first, and longest-lasting, job.  I was doing my best to enter the world of Medical Billing education.  I had first started talking to my current girlfriend.  And in the world of comics, something BIG was brewing at DC Comics.  The herald to this sense of change was the "Flashpoint" event.  Speaking personally, "Flashpoint"... as a successor to "Blackest Night" and "Brightest Day"... STILL feels like a wet noodle of an event for ANY comic company to begin a "new era" with, let alone DC Comics.  Let's look at their other universe-changing events:

• "Crisis on Infinite Earths": Not a perfect "board cleaning", but for my money, the most SUCCESSFUL in seeing through important changes to certain characters.  I cannot help but also note this change GREATLY benefitted Superman and Wonder Woman the most!
• "Zero Hour": This served as an added bandage to the changes created to "Crisis", and as a supplementary event, it works gangbusters.  The craziest part of it all is it changed Batman FAR more effectively than the post-Crisis period did.
• "Infinite Crisis": Welcome back to the Multiverse... and VERY temporary changes to certain characters.  (I will say, at the very least, it made Batman less of a jerk, in general.)
• "Final Crisis": This was the event that seemed to really just happen for Grant Morrison's sake, but everyone else COMPLETELY failed to act upon the aftermath. 

So, after the events of "Flashpoint", the DC Universe... from all of the crazy reality-shifting that the Flash created... every single DC book relaunched as a new number one.  (Including, to my irritation, "Action Comics" and "Detective Comics".  Seriously, these books would have been AWESOME to have kept their original numbering, so that eventually we could have seen a single published comic literally reach one-thousand issues.)  And after some redesigns by Jim "The 90's still love me, but don't ask me to produce artwork on a title ON TIME" Lee, in late August/early September of 2011, the DC "New 52" launched with fifty-two brand-new series seeing the shelves in the span of one month.

To say things have been... inconsistent... in this new publishing environment for DC would be an understatement, but before I spend time griping about the silly and stupid, I wanted to dedicate this blog to the changes the "New 52" wrought that were for the POSITIVE.  Shall we begin?

BATMAN- DC's current "cash cow" character may star in about a BAJILLION titles in the new universe, but his self-titled book, written by Scott Snyder and illustrated by Greg Capullo, is a STELLAR title.  What makes this book work is that Snyder's writing makes Batman a character that is tough, and an able fighter... BUT he doesn't forget that Batman is a detective as well, and that he isn't just some roughly-outlined "normal" man that REALLY acts more like a super-hero.  (Let's face it: some creators REALLY make Batman far beyond "human".)  And Greg Capullo's artwork was already stunning to begin with for his noted run on "Spawn", but he has grown by UNIVERSES in skill for his "Batman" work.  Another reason this title succeeds is that it successfully serves as the lynchpin for the Batman universe events, whereas you could just read the events as they play out in "Batman", and not feel like you're missing out on how things tie in to other books.  This book is honestly the best Batman material being produced, currently.

AQUAMAN- Geoff Johns may have his measure of ups and downs... even he couldn't make "Flashpoint" a success for me... but aside from his expansion of the Green Lantern universe, his MOST IMPORTANT contribution to the "New 52" universe is the promotion of importance to the character of Aquaman.  Arthur Curry has had a VERY rough go at things since maybe the 90's, when Peter David was writing the book.  Ever since then, Aquaman has been... pardon the pun... "treading water" for relevance in the DC Universe.  But we got hints at how Aquaman was becoming a serious player back in "Blackest Night", and while Batman still kinda rules the DC roost, along with Green Lantern, Aquaman's run in the "New 52" has been a GREAT success for the character.  So much so that in the FIRST TIME IN AQUAMAN'S HISTORY, he is starring in TWO regular monthly titles at once: his self-titled book, and "Aquaman and the Others".  As Mel Brooks stated in "History of the World Part 1", Aquaman knows "It's good to be da king!".

THE FURY OF FIRESTORM- I mention this one for a specific run: when Dan Jurgens stepped on to close out the title.  Initially, Firestorm had a very awkward pace as a book.  But then again, that's sort of Firestorm's LIFE for every sequential title launched after the Gerry Conway run.  But count on Dan Jurgens... a well-established hand in writing and illustrating VERY quality superhero fare... to pepper the fusion of Jason Rusch and Ronnie Raymond with some sauce!  Dan Jurgens crafted a fast-paced and genuinely superheroic run for the "Nuclear Man".  It's still a true shame his run was limited by the cancellation of Firestorm, but if there's such a thing as a definitive modern run for Firestorm, it has to be Dan Jurgen's take on ole' Flamehead!

ACTION COMICS- Grant Morrison, before... and kinda during... the "New 52", crafted such an interesting Batman universe to follow, that when it was announced he was going to tackle the "early days" of Superman's "New 52" life in "Action Comics", I knew THIS was going to be good.  Hell, his "All Star Superman" series is a SEMINAL piece of Superman storytelling.  ... I do have to be honest that Morrison's "Action Comics" run may not be the EXACT high-quality of "All Star Superman", but his take on our new Superman was FAR from being "lowly"!  In a 16 issue epic, he created a story that was emotionally involving, dimension spanning, and chock full of heroic moments for Superman to be featured in.  Some of the "Morrison-isms" may turn off some people, but I feel his "Action Comics" run was a true highlight for the Man of Steel.

WONDER WOMAN- I can run hot and cold with some of Brian Azzarello's writings.  On the one hand, I LOVED "100 Bullets".  On the other hand, his "Superman" run with Jim Lee could best be described as an in-action-packed epic... BUT with his surprising assignment to "Wonder Woman" with artist Cliff Chiang resulted in one of the BEST periods for the floundering Amazon since George Perez recreated her universe for the first post-"Crisis" period.  I often describe this series as combining the epic nature of Wonder Woman's universe with the characterizations of Neil Gaiman's "Sandman".  And Azzarello has given us a Princess Diana that is a VERY strong and competent female hero.  She's clever, strong, and true to the best moments for Wonder Woman... compassionate.  I will be saddened when Azzarello's run ultimately ends... with the replacement of a rather bland artist and his first-time comic writing wife.  Sigh...

SUPERGIRL- Another lady of the DC Universe brings the quality, because while Superman's books took time to find their footing in the "New 52", his cousin... Kara Zor-El... hit the ground RUNNING from her title's launch, and she's not slowed down in the least.  I think what worked the best for "Supergirl" is we got to see her slowly acclimate to living on Earth, trying to blend her previous Kryptonian culture to our own.  And we also got to see her kick METRIC tons of butt.  I'd dare say Supergirl has been a character that has taken flight surprisingly swiftly and surely in the "New 52", and her comic comes highly recommended.

See?  I can start a topic on a positive note!  But hold on to your seats for tomorrow, because we'll be getting into the nitpicking of the "New 52" results I have taken in...

 

Marvel Knows UNLIMITED Ways To Make More Books!

There must have been something in the water at Marvel Comics leading up to 1993.  Something that made the various editors decide that certain titles didn't have NEARLY enough books to go around for their retrospective characters.  What we, as the comic buying public, REALLY needed... to divert our attentions away from the already well-established Image, Valiant, and I'm pretty sure the Ultraverse was a "thing" about this time... was to have our favorite characters launched in double-sized quarterly books.  But it wasn't just the size that mattered...  "That's what she said", and all that... these books had to be printed on ALL-GLOSSY pages!  And in some cases, lead into MAJOR cross-title event stories!  It is in this bizarre twist of fate for Marvel for the 1993 publishing year that I find my inspiration to give you readers a brief overview of the various Marvel Unlimited books!  I will admit, though, that my experience with these books was NOWHERE near regular reading, and I never even read two of the particular "Unlimited" launch titles, but this is more about celebrating the spirit of such a... genuinely WEIRD project!

SPIDER-MAN UNLIMITED- This may have been the first "Unlimited" book to really grab my attention.  I had missed out on all the hubbub of "Amazing Spider-Man #360", featuring the first FULL appearance of Carnage, but I was aware of the character.  And since I knew of his ties to Venom... a FULL-ON favorite character around that stage of my life... I was chomping at the bit to find a way to investigate the Carnage character.  I think I found this book at a Waldenbooks spinner rack, and GRABBED IT!  C'mon, check out the characters that show up!  Carnage!  Venom!  That Spider-Man demonized clone from "Infinity War"!  Shriek... who I STILL am puzzled why she existed!  Carrion, who I would only learn LATER in life of his ties to a genuinely LOATHED character in my experience with the Spider-Man universe!  (I may talk about a certain Professor Warren later, because this character carries what I call "X-Pac Heat", for those that know a thing about wrasslin' terminology.)  What also made this title even MORE of a "must have" was that it was the launching point of a mega Spider-Man event called "Maximum Carnage".  All you need to know about the event is it's a fourteen-part cat-and-mouse chase between Spidey's hero... and anti-hero... friends, and Carnage and his friends, where Spider-Man debates whether to kill off Carnage or not.  In the midst of this existential debate, Carnage and buds just slaughter ANYONE, gladly.  The crossover ALSO wrapped up in "Spider-Man Unlimited #2", which featured a handicap match with Spider-Man and Venom teaming up to take down Carnage for REALS!  The other issues of note I could quote for my experience with this title were "Spider-Man Unlimited #3", which featured a fleshed-out origin story for Doctor Octopus.  And yes... even as early as the mid-90's, there was the approach to a villain origin that OBVIOUSLY a messed-up sob-story childhood was the root of their future misfortunes.  Sigh...  And I also recall a few of the "Spider-Man Unlimited" issues blended into the whole "Clone Saga" storyline... even featuring a few issues starring the Ben Reilly Scarlet Spider!

X-MEN UNLIMITED- Of COURSE... if your title was an X-Men-related book in the 90's, you were GUARANTEED a long shelf life, and this book lasted a full ten years of publication, being the longest-lived Unlimited title of the entire lot.  I know I've read the first five issues in their entirety.  While "Spider-Man Unlimited" somewhat facilitated between being an event-launcher book, and a single-story experience, "X-Men Unlimited" seemed to be a book that was quite cozy being a one-and-done tale spinner.  And we DID get some interesting stories for the experience I've had with the book.  I'll just hit up the salient points for an issue number bullet point layout:

1. Cyclops, Storm, and Professor Xavier must survive from their Blackbird jet crashing in the Arctic, where even the weather overwhelms Storm's control abilities.  It's not just an environmental survival tale, because Siena Blaze of the then-founding "spoiled brat" mutant team, the Upstarts, are hunting the X-Team heads for "points".
2. We not only get an enhanced origin story for Magneto, but also a tale of one man's quest to gain revenge against the Master of Magnetism, for the killing of his family.
3. Sabretooth is have a REAL hard time of making friends at the X-Mansion, where he was captured and subjected to Charles Xavier's "therapy sessions".  So this issue is a study of Sabretooth's... take a lucky guess... "miserable childhood", and the efforts of the X-Men to subdue Sabretooth... physically and mentally.
4. This issue is kind of like a family portrait... Only if your family background is as messed up as the ties that Mystique, Rogue, and Nightcrawler share.  So yes, this is another semi-family origin story!
5. I only have REAL vague memories of this issue, which detailed something involving the Sh'iar Empire.  I will say the REAL treat of this issue was having Liam Sharpe at the artistic helm, because at the time I LOVED his work on "Death's Head II".

FANTASTIC FOUR UNLIMITED- I must confess, with some guilt, that this was THE Unlimited book I probably followed more fervently than the others.  I think it's because it was the most general "super-heroic" of the lot, and it allowed me to follow unfettered-by-continuity Fantastic Four adventures.  But what makes the issues I've read of this series TRULY bizarre examples of comic book storytelling was the artistic revolution of Herb Trimpe.  At that point, I had not seen his previous work during MY well-known title of his, "The Incredible Hulk", but I'm guessing during the 90's, the pressure was on the longtime Marvel vet, Trimpe, to alter his artistic style to the "Image" style.  So you have REALLY MESSED UP anatomies for characters, TONS of cross-hatching on expressions, and hard-to-follow action sequences.  But hey... It's what the "kids" like, ain't it, Marvel?  Anyways, here's some of my adventures with the "Fantastic Four Unlimited" title:

1. It should ALSO be noted that all of the issues I've read featured Sue Richards in the HORRIBLE "Cleavage Window" costume.  I'm not against costumes that showcase female characters'... um... "distractions", but I regard Sue Richards to be a higher-caliber character than that.  Anyways, the FF and the Black Panther team up to ward off another attack by Klaw, the master of sound.  Much Liefeld-esque grimmacing and posing ensues...
2. The Fantastic Four encounter their on-and-off again buddies, the Inhumans, because the Seeker... serving under Maximus the Mad... "seeks" to kidnap the offspring of Medusa and Black Bolt.
3. Man... Annihilus and Blastaar look REALLY weird in the "Image" style.  But again, this issue deals with another bout with those Negative Zone nasties.  I also remember the evil Negative Zone version of Reed Richards puts in an appearance in the story.
4. I've talked about this issue before, with another Hulk/Thing showdown, so check out that blog entry for more details!
5. It wouldn't be a Fantastic Four party if the Frightful Four weren't invited, at some point!  So, marshaling their villainous powers against the FF are the aforementioned Klaw, the Wizard, that kooky master of simians the Red Ghost... and She-Thing.  I may want to hold out about talking about her for a little while, because it's a long story.
6. Hold on just one moment...  You can't just skip by a few FF stories without EVEN having Namor, the Sub Mariner show up, can you?  And with Reed Richards being "dead" at this time of the Fantastic Four publication history, you can bet that Namor feels a little more like Sue could be approachable...

I even managed to skip over to issue nine, which dealt with a villain that had control of Ant-Man's powers... and whose costume was all KINDS of 90's absurd.  Explore this given title with caution in that it is VERY reflective of the era it was published in.

COSMIC POWERS UNLIMITED- This remains one of the more hard to find Unlimited titles.  I can't even REMEMBER how I chanced on the first issue, alone, which featured another fine Jim Starlin/Rom Lim collaboration, detailing the further battle between the Silver Surfer and now Marvel Studios ULTRA villain, Thanos.  And I imagine, what with the HEAT that "Guardians of the Galaxy" has built up for anything relating to Marvel Cosmic material, I imagine this already hard-to-reach series will be just as equally elusive as the Infinity Gems, themselves. 

And now for a brief brushup on the Unlimited books that I missed, and PROBABLY the reasons why I elected to stay outside of their coverage.

2099 UNLIMITED- It may be considered "blasphemy" by some, but the 2099 Marvel Universe never completely clicked with me.  I would occasionally follow "Doom 2099", because... hey... DOCTOR DOOM.  And while I generally enjoy Peter David, "Spider-Man 2099" read like a whole bunch of gobbledegook to my sensibilities.  I also only ever read two issues of "X-Men 2099", and I would have THOUGHT in this far-distant future, Mutants would have things a lil' bit easier, but nope... the same Mutant book drama, only with flying cars.  I'm normally a fan of "Alternate Universe" takes on established characters, and the credit I give the 2099 Universe is that you DID NOT have Peter Parker living to be 200-something, still slinging webs in the city.  But there was just something about this Universe that made me not want to extend much more effort that dipping one foot into the pool, every so often, but never wanting to "swim" in the experience.

MIDNIGHT SONS UNLIMITED- My brushes with the Marvel Supernatural characters tend to be VERY brief!  (But don't worry: I waver a lot with DC Supernatural characters, as well.  So it's not just blind favoritism.)  The concept of "Urban Fantasy" is a tough one for me to really stay loyal to, ESPECIALLY if they have ties to a directly superheroic universe.  Plus, I can honestly say that most of the Marvel Universe's Supernatural characters I just had no personal interest in reading about.  Ghost Rider... Johnny Blaze OR Danny Ketch?  Nope, not feeling it.  Morbius the Living Vampire?  Eh... He's cool when he shows up for Spider-Man adventures, but I can pass on his being a solo character.  Heck, even Doctor Strange is not immune to my general indifference to modern superhero universe Supernatural characters!  However, I did browse issues of this book, on occasion, and what I DO find interesting about this particular Unlimited title was that it reads just like my beloved DC "Dollar Comics".  What I mean by that was "Midnight Sons Unlimited" appears to have been ENTIRELY an anthology title!  Which makes me curious about seeing to an issue, when I can find one on the cheap.  Despite my general disassociation with the "setting".

I hope you enjoyed today's glimpses at the Marvel Unlimited universe.  I get the nagging feeling I'm forgetting a series run, here and there, but if there's any knowledge gaps, feel free to let me know in a comment!

Great Lakes... Great Creator!

Again, I wish to apologize about a lack of a REAL blog entry for yesterday.  I'm not going to get into specifics, but I will say that ROUGHLY from Saturday night to just into today was a VERY rough personal period for me.  (I can say that staring a car and health insurance bill in the face, tonight... with, let me remind you all, NO ACTUAL INCOME COMING IN... is also proving to be rough.  Ugh...)  But yesterday's intention is today's reality, for I bring you the entry I had ORIGINALLY planned.  Actually, this works out for the better, because a topic I was going to divulge into, today, needs a bit more subject refining.  I'll just give you a hint that it's a bit timely with a certain Marvel change.  And today's entry is kind of a personal entry.  I suppose EVERYTHING I write about contains a bit of "me" in them, but this isn't going to be me waxing poetic/insanely about the Superhero genre.  This will actually glean upon a certain creator I grew to appreciate during my initial "Independent" experiment phase in my late 20's!

During my confused 20's, where I had begun to really dive deep into my experiences with the opposite sex, and where I felt I was becoming more of a "refined" person, I wanted to try other comics outside of the capes, cowls, and MULTITUDES of belts and pouches genres.  My first official experience of something different... which I'll talk about for another blog entry... was Neil Gaiman's "The Sandman".  That series hit me at JUST the right time in my life, and yet it remained "fantastical" enough for me to feel like this was a pleasant transition from my usual comic fare.  But the REAL renaissance was around the period where books like Alison Bechdel's "Fun Home" and Craig Thompson's "Blankets" arrived on the scene.  I did sample both of these books, and while they each presented MANY wonderful artistic flourishes, and great "Adult" storytelling, they could be perceived by people as rather "self-indulgent" with their autobiographical nature.  I also can vividly recall first sampling Chester Brown during this period, as well, along with Alex Robinson.  The latter made a FAR more strong impression than the former, but that's not a mark against Brown's talent.  Sometimes creators "click" and sometimes they just miss the mark.  But out of this period of my comic book experimenting, one creator stuck out to me as THE one that really had staying power for my reading attentions.  One man that crafted stories with a slightly rough, but still stylistic, art approach, and nice slice-of-life dialogue that I could hear VERY clearly as existing in real life.  And one man that, in the course of nearly 12 years in the industry, transformed from a self-reflective "Indie" creator to being able to participate with flappin' LUCASBOOKS for his own material!  I bring you Jeffrey Brown for today.

Basically what you need to know about Jeffrey Brown is he originally hailed from my home town of Grand Rapids, Michigan.  You do get slices of that life in his various autobiographical pieces.  But the one fun piece of comic trivia in association with Jeffrey Brown is that, even as a kid, he wanted to draw comics, and he would create his own pieces to showcase at a particular local shop.  (Don't quote me on this, but it was EITHER Tardy's Collector's Corner or Apparition's.)  Anyhoo, after 25 years in the land of BOOMSTICKS... hopefully you know your Sam Raimi films for that one... Jeffrey relocated to Chicago, Illinois to attend the School of the Art Institute to try expanding his work into the painted medium.  But in due time, he would transition over to comics, fully, with his first graphic novel, "Clumsy".  "Clumsy" details an episode in Jeffrey's life that featured his coping with a long-distance relationship, and all the difficulties therein.  (And boy... I could tell YOU some stories about that, as well...)  This first blast of Jeffrey Brown had a lot of the personable charm that would feature in his current works, but there's no denying the artwork was VERY much removed from the standard style he would adopt, even as soon as the follow-up graphic novel, "Unlikely", which detailed Jeffrey's loss of virginity.  What spoke to me the most about these first two books of his was that Jeffrey... as an open character in his pieces... was someone I could identify with, and sympathize with.  Jeffrey Brown, in his stories, is not ALWAYS perfect, and can make some questionable decisions... but isn't that really what life's all about?  Don't we ALWAYS have a moment where we say something in the heat of a difficult situation that we later just wonder, "What the hell was I THINKING?!?".  Hence, why I was hooked, lined, and... er... sinkered?

A brief note: Jeffrey did not specialize SOLELY in graphic novels.  He was also a contributor to such works as "McSweeny's" and "Drawn and Quarterly".  As of 2004, he took his first break from the peeks into his personal life, and created a superhero parody book called "Bighead".  It's in that book that we had a peek at the GREAT absurdist sense of humor that Jeffrey Brown still instills into his works.  Couple that, with an assembly of one-page humor strips called "I Am Going to Be Small", and you have the PERFECT lead-in for a banner year for Jeffrey Brown.  In 2007, Jeffrey Brown unleashed into the world two VERY unique pieces.  One of which would become a LEGIT best-seller for Top Shelf Comics!  The first I'll talk about is "Incredible Change-Bots".  If you're a fan of the original "Transformers" animated series, you HAVE to read this book.  This must be one of the most brilliant skewering of the various bits of INSANITY that were present in the adventures of Optimus Prime and his loyal band of Autobots.  The best-seller... and the book that actually gave me the chance to MEET Jeffrey Brown at a local book chain called Schueler's for a signing... was "Cat Getting Out Of Bag and Other Observations".

In this book, Jeffrey details various episodes of his life with the many cats he's been a caretaker to, throughout his life.  I'm not saying I like this, and the sequel book, "Cats Are Weird and More Observations", because I AM more of a "cat person", but I can confirm I equally enjoy these two books because Jeffrey Brown PERFECTLY captures the moments of sweetness and insanity that come when you own a cat.  I mean, I love the little furballs, but MAN... They can be pretty flipping crazy-town in an INSTANT!  And these episodes of the feline experience are told simply in one-page strips, so you can indulge in little bits at a time without feeling like you have to GORGE on the matter.

After these particular books, life started to change for Jeffrey Brown, and it was reflected in his works.  His next major autobiographical piece was "Funny Misshapen Body", which talked about his struggle with Crohn's Disease, and you could say that's almost "par for the course" with "Indie" comic creators.  But becoming a father, and marriage, can add ENTIRELY new wrinkles to stories about yourself.  Hence, after a "Change-Bots" sequel, Jeffrey Brown began detailing his adventures in fatherhood in "A Matter of Life".  The simple charms that he brought to the episodes of relationships in his earlier works carried over to all of the astonishing events that occur when you become a parent.  And like his relationship pieces, you can STILL find bits of humor and that crackling Jeffrey Brown energy!

2012 didn't also just give us Jeffrey Brown's first full-length book about parenthood.  This was ALSO the year that saw release of "Darth Vader and Son", the first collaboration Jeffrey Brown had with Lucasbooks.  If you can't smile at this book, or its sequels, "Vader's Little Princess" and "Good Night Darth Vader", you have a heart that's FAR colder and blacker than Emperor Palpatine's!  Seriously, you can just FEEL the admiration that Jeffrey Brown has for the "Star Wars" legacy, while adding his own quirks of infectious humor.  I've yet to begin exploring Jeffrey's prose offerings in the "Star Wars" universe, "Jedi Academy", but it's often on the backburner of my reading intentions to get to.

Another recent work of his that comes highly recommended... both by myself and my girlfriend who read it along with me... was "Kids Are Weird".  Remember how I described Jeffrey Brown's cat books?  Well, take that, transition it over to observations of his children and the various oddities that you just CANNOT help but marvel at from kids, and you have this highly entertaining book.  And according to Top Shelf Comics, if you're TOTALLY caught up with Brown's work, hold on to your horses for September for ANOTHER "Incredible Change-Bots" sequel!

I also choose to wrap up this entry with a fun bit of life proving to be somewhat cyclical for Brown's creative interests.  You see, if you remember that comic shop story I talked about, the one drawing that was OFTEN referred to for Brown's local comic art showcase was a piece he drew of Wolverine.  Well, in due time, Marvel would invite Jeffrey Brown in to provide a story for an anthology book called "Strange Tales", AND if you do some online digging around, you can find some VERY cool Marvel tribute pieces that he created!  (I can say that if Jeffrey Brown was called upon to totally rework "Secret Wars 2" in the style he used for a cover homage, I would buy that mini-series in a HEART BEAT!  ... And it's not like he could do any worse than the "Secret Wars 2" we already HAVE in existence!)  So I hope you enjoyed a slice of my reading preference life, and a profile piece on a creator that's not exactly comic book "norm", but is still a creator that I've been VERY enthusiastic about for years on end!

Non-Essential Reading... Or No Real Entry, Today.

I did have a topic lined up for today's blog, but developments in my personal life from this past weekend have really distracted/dispirited me.  I know it's a rather poor excuse, but I didn't want to just leave this blog empty for the day, so hopefully with a little more distance from the general curve ball life has thrown me, I'll be ready to reach into my writing bag of tricks again, tomorrow.  I really do apologize to my readers for no ACTUAL content, today.  I may just shift around today's subject for a latter date, but I STILL have a solid schedule planned for up to Labor Day of next week.  So stay tuned for that, at least!  As for further illustration as to how I mentally... and partially physically... feel, today, I present in conclusion one of the most famous events in the Giffin/DeMatteis JLA run.  Hopefully you'll understand all this, and also enjoy.

Peter Parker Gets By With A Little Help From His Amazing Friends

Once more, we return to the world of the television screen for coverage for today's blog.  (I'll give you a teaser about tomorrow's entry; it DOES deal with a comics subject, but of a decidedly independent nature!  Horizons... EXPANDED.)  But today is not so far-removed from the comics as I may portray it to be; indeed, for if you were a child like myself, growing up in the early 1980's, this show was ANOTHER important building block for your appreciation for comic book characters.  You see, I've already dipped somewhat into the well of the Distinguished Competition's "Super Friends" run, but what about the other big company?  What did the House of Ideas have to offer for us pre-double digit aged youths up at INSANE hours on a Saturday morning, looking for sugary cereals and a five hour animated assault on the senses?  (Ironic the twists that life takes, because due to my girlfriend's work schedule, I am STILL indirectly waking up at insane hours on a Saturday morning.  Only my fixations to awaken myself include a less sugar-smacked cereal alternative, caffeinated Crystal Light mixes, and either some comics or a junk-food Action movie.  ... I'm 30-something, RIGHT?)

"Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends" debuted for the fall season of 1981 on NBC.  According to my research, it was to be Marvel Animation's answer to the success ABC saw with "Super Friends", and this series followed in the wake of a solo Spider-Man animated series.  In comparison, I believe "Amazing Friends" enjoyed a more fruitful life than Peter Parker's adventures with himself, for the series lasted three seasons in contrast to "Spider-Man's" single season.  Later in it's broadcasting life, "Amazing Friends" would be teamed with "The Incredible Hulk" for an HOUR OF MARVEL POWER for Saturday mornings.  (At this point, I COMMAND you to search Youtube for the opening of the "Hulk" animated series.  It will put hair on your chest, and make you wanna SMASH something!)  So who comprises the membership of said "Amazing Friends"?  We'll discuss the direct membership, but also include two of the tertiary members!

• Spider-Man: Peter Parker, New York's friendly-neighborhood wall crawler.  If I have to explain the specifics of Spider-Man, you must have been insulated from ANY comic-media exposure in your life. 
• Iceman- Bobby Drake, formerly of the X-Men, decided to hang out with Peter Parker for this series run.  (It would've been AWESOME if the series had recognized his run in "The Champions", though...)  His mutant ability involves the transformation of his body into an icy anatomy, and allows him to access ice-based projectiles and aerial slides to travel upon.  (His method of transformation, though, which involved encasing himself in a GIGANTIC ice cube to break free, exposed as Iceman... A bit on the "non-covert" side...)
• Firestar: Angelica "Jinx" Jones... and you get a HUGE gold star if you recognize that reference... was insinuated by this series to be a former X-Man as well.  The only issue with that in our proper Marvel continuity was that she NEVER existed before this cartoon debuted!  Anyways, she had microwave-based heat powers, which allowed control of thermal drafts to fly, and heat projectiles from her hands.  (Fun fact: Her character was SUPPOSED to be filled in by Johnny Storm AKA Human Torch, but there were rights-issues with the character at the time, so a "Firestar Was Born".  ... Yes, ANOTHER gold star if you recognize that reference...)
• "Aunt" May Parker: Caretaker to Peter Parker, home and boarder to the other Spider-Friends, "comedic relief", and at my insistence, STILL the most sinister villain in Spidey's foe gallery.
• Ms. Lion: Funny how that the shared CANINE companion of the group was more useful than Aunt May.  Ms. Lion was a Pekingese by species, and very vocal and bold!

It wasn't just the team aspect to Spider-Man's usual adventures, and rivalries, that made the show so exciting.  (And believe me, MANY familiar foe faces showed up in the series.  Such as the Green Goblin, Shocker, Electro, the Beetle, and Sandman.)  But this series was ALSO a gateway to various guest spots, cameos, and even INTRODUCTIONS to characters to the Marvel Universe!  Here's a few examples of some highlights.

One key episode featured a prison-break scheme by Magneto to free his mutant compatriots, the Blob, Toad, and Mastermind.  As if THAT wasn't enough "expanded universe" for you, for a prison "highlight reel" showcasing the Evil Mutants' abilities, Mastermind's mutant power of conjuring vivid image facsimiles gave us SIDE CAMEOS of Mephisto, Ghost Rider, Psy-Klops, and Annihilus!  How Jason Wynngard EVER encountered these beings of supernatural and galactic nature to copy their likenesses so exactly is a mystery for the ages, but c'mon... Five Marvel cameos in ONE brief sequence?  How can you dislike that?

We'll discuss more about Marvel's Merry Mutants in detail for a moment, but it wasn't just Professor Xavier's direct crew that received media attention.  A "honorary" member of the X-Men also received his own feature episode, with Sunfire first hindering... then ASSISTING... the Spider-Friends, when his computer magnate uncle happens upon technology that can assist his development project of Robot-Samurais to conquer the world.  And we get a hint of "Flame Attracting Flame" with a brief flirtation between Sunfire and Firestar.  (Can you BLAME Sunfire, though?!?  I cannot say it enough; comic book redheads are my JAM!)

World domineering villains, such as Doctor Doom, even figured into the Spider-Friends' adventures.  One key episode I remember involved Doctor Doom's attempt to involve a mystic ritual with a fractured artifact, to gain reality-mastery powers.  The Spider-Friends foil his attempt, and Doom's satellite dish to collect the mystic energies were misdirected to the lovable loser, Mr. Frump.  Mr. Frump has had a bad day to end all bad days, but when he figures the worst has already happened with him being randomly zapped by cosmic rays, things start getting BETTER when his wishes start coming true.  And Mr. Frump begins to let his reality-controlling abilities get to his head, and it also doesn't help that Doctor Doom... covetous of his powers... starts manipulating Mr. Frump to serve out HIS wishes against those "villainous" Spider-Friends.  (I guess this episode's lesson means I have to start standing in front of satellite dishes during thunderstorms, and hope one of those bolts that are attracted to the dish receptor grants me cosmic powers to start shifting reality to MY pleasant ideals, instead of turning me into a pile of burnt ashes...)

It wasn't just villains that received the special treatment.  Sure, I could harp on appearances from other dark denizens like Dracula, the Red Skull, and Loki, but the series ALSO featured many heroic guest spots.  The repeat "offender" of the defender bunch had to be the X-Men.  Two altered iterations of the team appeared for two separate episodes.  Easily the constants of the transitions were Charles Xavier and Cyclops.  After that point, the membership would shift.  For the episode featuring a battle against the Juggernaut... which also served as the origin story of Firestar... the team comprised of Xavier, Cyclops, Storm, and an Aussie-accented Wolverine.  (Again... a CANADIAN citizen speaking Aussie slang... Why. Not?)  The secondary episode featured a battle against a former flame of Firestar that was transformed into a cyborg from a space mission gone wrong.  Our team being featured for THIS go-around were Xavier, Cyclops, Colossus, Kitty Pryde (Sprite), and Thunderbird.  YES, THAT THUNDERBIRD.  The one that only appeared in the introduction of the new X-Men in "Giant Sized X-Men #1", then "X-Men #94-95", before an untimely demise.  Not bad for a character that only lived for three comic issues to show up in a FULL LENGTH cartoon episode!

Solo appearances with characters like Captain America, Thor, and an AWFUL costumed version of the Black Knight added to the Marvel Universe mystique.  But one key episode that needs to be seen is "Seven Little Superheroes".  It's not enough that you have a superheroic take on the famous Agatha Christie "Eight Little Indians" story.  The episode LIVES up to the numbering with some TRULY inspired guest appearances.  Sure, we have a bit of a "cheat" with the Spider-Friends being three of the seven, but the gap fillers were truly inspired.  Okay... Captain America has certified name credit, Namor and Dr. Strange may not be AS well-known, but they're not slouches for someone who's familiar with the Marvel Universe.  But only this series includes a guest appearance by Shanna the She-Devil!  I think she's largely forgotten in about ANY period of Marvel Comics proper history!  But she experienced immortality in animation!  Only by the wicked schemes of the Chameleon, and the ingenuity of the series' creators allowed Shanna to exist in an adventure with the Spider-Friends!

Now let's discuss two particular new faces to the animated Marvel Universe of this time!

Welcome to the 1980's, where arcades were HUGE!  And if you hadn't seen "Tron" to verify that knowledge, you just only needed to see one of THREE appearances by Video-Man in "Amazing Friends" to rest secure in your knowledge.  His first two appearances were villainous in nature, and he existed solely as a sinister video game character summoned to life... well, the first time made sense in that he was a tool of Electro's plans, but the second time I STILL scratch my head about.  However, his third appearance involved Video-Man finding a human avatar in Francis Byte, and a change in attitudes, since he now wants to train to become a SUPERHERO!  Video-Man's powers are generally associated with travelling electric currents and conduits, energy projectiles, and the ability to take living people, and transport them into video games designed to "kill" them.  (Nothing beats watching Flash Thompson trying to stay alive under the assault of a round of "Pong"!)

Admittedly a former Nazi scientist that had to be devoured by bees to have them incorporated into his being and control as... and let me say this correctly... ZZZZZWWWWAAAARRRMMMM... was a bit grim for the animated universe.  (Again, if they referred to "The Champions" in "Amazing Friends", issue 14 of that series could've been at least nodded to!)  But alien energized bees that can zap people with "drone" control rays is pretty acceptable.  This is a case where the character of Swarm DID exist in the comics, but this may have been the first time ANY budding comic book fan was exposed to just how threatening a humanoid mass of stinging insects, that by proxy could transform you into a zombified bee-servant, COULD BE!

The shame about this series is that, unless you are in possession of a region-free DVD player, or live in the UK, the Region 2 DVD set is your only physical option.  BUT just because you live in the States does NOT mean you're left without luck!  All three seasons are still, as of current date, available on Netflix Instant!  But if you want to be a comic book "purist", you still have some "Amazing Friends" outlets.  In 1981, there was a four-issue "Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends" mini-series launched.  And patience paid off for Angelica Jones in 1985, when she was FINALLY introduced to the Marvel Universe proper in "Uncanny X-Men #193", as an initial member of the White Queen's Hellions.  (This issue was also notable in that it introduced the younger brother of Thunderbird as the successor to the title!)  Firestar would go on to become a founding member of the New Warriors, and even have a lengthy stretch in the "Heroes Return" era of the Avengers!  And the Spider-Friends reunited for the "Ultimate Spider-Man" universe setting!  So as long as fondness exists for the team that Ms. Lion solidified, their legacy shall march on proudly!

Baby, You Can Drive My Car... Or Jet... Or Toy-Inspired Vehicle.

I suppose today's entry could ALSO have counted as a traditional FFF blog, but I say that the majority of my subjects are coming from a place of genuine appreciation... with three diversions into particular silliness, so it averages out to be a "regular" blog entry.  How do I chase up a FFF entry about a comic book woman that had a LONG stretch ticket on the "Crazy Train"?  Well, why not briefly discuss some iconic... and three notorious... methods of transportation for some iconic comic book characters?  (And believe me, I DID try to dredge up my memory to add to the "silly" column with some Image Comics vehicles.  But for the most part, I remember their teams only having generic high-tech-ish jets and stuff.  And sadly, I CANNOT count the various cars that were made for the "Spawn" toy lines, because as far as I know, NONE of them made any comic appearances.  ... Which is a shame, because what I wouldn't have given for a story that featured Spawn and the Violator in a mad dragster street challenge.  "The Fast and the Furious" couldn't hold even a SPARKLER to that idea!)

THE BATMOBILE- What began as a simple red "car" in "Detective Comics #27"... which coincidentally also gave birth to the Man behind the Mobile... evolved many times during the 75 years of the character's existence.  But no matter what medium the Batman exists in... television, cartoon, movie, video game, probably on that Prince album... the Batmobile has been a CONSTANT.  I'd dare say that it may be the MOST iconic vehicle in Batman's crime fighting history.  People forget that the Batplane/Batwing wasn't the FIRST flying vehicle the Gotham Knight possessed.  It was actually more of a VTOL-helicopter hybrid.  And forget about any Batboats, because that came actually LATER than any flight equipment.  The key to the Batmobile's appeal, in any version, is it's an arsenal on wheels.  Any extra piece of equipment that Batman can think of installing into the Mobile, there it shall be!  In the Batman's long history, it can be a chore to try and whittle down favorites and least-favorites of the Batmobile, but I can at least offer up my personal preferences:

• Favorites: The 1970's "sleek" comics Batmobile, the first Tim Burton film Batmobile, the "Animated Series" Batmobile, and while it's over the top, I find the "Dark Knight Returns" Batmobile to be a fun take on the concept.
• Not-so-Favorites: It's easy for me to narrow this field down.  If it's a Batmobile with NO roof on top for coverage, I really tend to dislike it, because it just comes off as "ridiculous" to imagine Batman and Robin racing the Gotham streets at TOP SPEED with no wind resistance.  Plus, no one can make me even remotely "like" the Christopher Nolan "Batmobile".  It just makes me think of a cyborg Hummer, with no style.

INVISIBLE PLANE- "Sensation Comics #1" saw this bad lass roll off the airfield to aid Wonder Woman in her pursuit of justice in Man's World.  It may not be as gimmicked or as "surprise"-filled as the Batmobile, and some could argue that the concept of owning an invisible ANYTHING is ridiculous, but to me, the Invisible Plane goes with Wonder Woman just as much as the Batmobile belongs to Batman.  But Princess Diana has ONE vehicular advantage over Bruce Wayne; her jet can be psychically commanded by Wonder Woman!  Just imagine that, on a night you're feeling too tired to drive your car into the garage for some security, you just think it... and it's already driving ITSELF into storage!  Who can't envy that?  And also, like Batman's "auto", Wonder Woman's Invisible Plane has made the crossover to virtually every media appearance she has been featured in.  Heck, they even crafted a Wonder Woman prop DOLL to fly a cute lil' Invisible Plane for the Lynda Carter television series!

THE FANTASTICAR- Marvel's "First Family" is still the ONE team that, for over 50 years, has maintained the same mode of transportation.  Sure, they have been different VERSIONS of the Fantasticar, but it has been in various forms of existence since "Fantastic Four #3".  Probably the two most famous versions have been the first model, which was affectionately known as the "Flying Bathtub", and the more streamlined model we see in the above illustration.  What I find the most interesting aspect of the vehicle is, aside from possessing astounding VTOL and speed capabilities, and the ability to split its sections off into FOUR separate scout vehicles, IT HAS NO WEAPONRY.  But I guess if you're flying with people like Sue Richards, Johnny Storm, and Ben Grimm, you haven't much to worry about in the great blue yonder.  (And Reed Richards can serve as a great parachute for emergency landings... Right?) 

We've talked about the genuine affections.  Now let's talk about some of vehicles that have INFECTED the comic book world.

THE ARROWCAR- I know Oliver Queen is the darling of the CW Network, with his "Arrow" series.  And while I agree with a friend that the "New 52" Green Arrow has been less-than-stellar, I still have the classic "goatee" Ollie Queen to think back fondly upon.  But before 60's relevancy caught up with Star City's crusader for the common man... I have to be honest, Green Arrow spent his time from the 40's to the early 60's as a bowslinging Batman knock-off.  Not just because he had his own kid-sidekick in Speedy/Roy Harper, but because he had the SAME EXACT EQUIPMENT.  Arrowcave?  Oh yes... Arrowplane?  Heck, Bruce won't mind if we "homage" a few of his ideas...  And most aggrievedly... an ARROWCAR.  Just the Batmobile with a yellow coat of paint, and an arrow-shaped chassis.  Yes, kids, there was once a time where Green Arrow was so dull of a character, he had to swipe ideas whole-cloth from the Dark Knight Detective.  As far as I can tell, I'm thankful that didn't extend to an Arrowhound.  (Though a dachshund would've filled that spot, nicely.  WHAT?!?  They're kinda pointed and "arrow-shaped"!)

SPIDER-MOBILE- At least from the VERY beginning, this vehicle was meant to be played as a joke in the comics.  First appearing in "Amazing Spider-Man #130", this was meant to be a "gift" from the Corona Motors company, as a cross-promotional advertising gimmick.  (Which was what it was also meant to be in our very own "Earth Prime", because if memory serves me right, Mego Toys wanted to advertise the vehicle as part of their superhero-based figure line.  Which will sound AWFULLY familiar in our next entry...)  Of course, what with Peter Parker having WEB SLINGERS THAT CAN TRANSPORT HIM THROUGHOUT THE CITY WITHOUT TRAFFIC ISSUES... this vehicle made PERFECT "practical sense".  But to its credit, after some modifications, it was able to shoot its own webbing, and project its own "Spider-Signal".  When the villainous Tinkerer got his mitts on the vehicle, later on, he further modified it to be able to drive up walls.  Two key appearances, and two separate fates for the vehicle.  They proceed as follows:

1. In it's first appearance, the Corona Motors company didn't realize Peter Parker doesn't have a driver's license, since he never learned to drive a car.  So... yeah, combine that knowledge WITH a car?
2. The Tinkerer's manipulation of the vehicle meant that Spider-Man had to WRECK the Spider-Mobile, because it was being used as a weapon.

Either way, I'm sure not many people were shedding tears over the loss of this monstrosity.  Last, but not least, a vehicle of a similar vein...

SUPER-MOBILE- Corgi Toys had themselves a sweet deal.  They managed to snag the rights to produce toy vehicles for the "Superman" license in the same year that Superman was going to see the BIG SCREEN with the Richard Donner feature film.  That year, ole' Clark Kent was on top of the merchandising world.  But the initial problem that Corgi Toys had was, you could produce multiple generic Daily Planet delivery vans, Metropolis police cars, and Daily Planet helicopters, but how do you REALLY represent Superman in terms of a vehicle?  Silly question, good person... You brainstorm with a committee, and decide that a vehicle that ROUGHLY resembles a sperm cell, with FISTS on the sides, is PERFECT transportation for the Man of Steel.  I admire the cheesiness of this vehicle, but think about it; WHY DOES SUPERMAN NEED A FLYING CAR?!?  At this time of his creative career, Clark could fly to outer space in the blink of an eye on his own general flight powers.  Ah... But THANKFULLY a four-issue arc beginning in "Action Comics #481" decided to illuminate to we blind masses.  A wave of red sun radiation from Krypton's explosion finally reaches our galaxy's orbit... along with Earth... and as the wave passes by, it manages to activate the One-Robot-Justice-League, Amazo, and also leaves Superman POWERLESS!  Which leads him to create, and unveil, the Super-Mobile.  Effectively it contains equipment to replicate his every power.  Lasers for heat vision, a freeze ray for his freeze breath... and... er... fists for his super-strength.  I guess if it had a CB radio, that could have served as a surrogate for the ridiculous "Super Ventriloquism".

Man, all of these vehicles drive me CRAZY in one way or another!  Hopefully you enjoyed the... ahem... "ride".  (I just HAD to say it!)

Friday "Funnies" Foolishness: The Rain In Spain Is A Pain For Miss Lane

One thing people could've taken me to task for about this past weekend's Comic Couples/Anniversary Tribute to my Girlfriend is not including one of comicdom's most iconic pairings.  There's a reason why I intentionally left it excluded.  I associate the two characters as a relationship, sure, but for them to become a couple, we have to look at two separate eras, and two separate EARTHS.  I chose to highlight... for my reading experiences... one key period for the two characters for today's "goofy" entry.  And it was all to be featured in a title about the FEMININE half of the equation!

Let me clarify the previous comment: before the first "Crisis", Clark Kent and Lois Lane DID tie the knot... but that all took place on Earth 2.  Y'know, the Earth that exists in the same dimension as ours, but separated by different vibrational patterns to ensure they can exist at the same time without destroying each other.  Because our primary Earth 1 Clark and Lois could NEVER get married, right?  ... THANKFULLY the post-"Crisis" Superman's reality allowed for our primary Clark and Lois to tie the knot without maintaining hard-wired "established statuses" for our characters.  Before that first "Crisis", on our reality, Lois Lane had a... complicated relationship with Clark Kent.  Complicated by the fact that she was OBSESSED with Superman, and proving Clark was Superman.  But Clark was DEAD-SET on not forming any relationships, in fear of "villains striking out at the ones he loved".  (AKA COMMITMENT WIMP.)  But "Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane" offered many twists to the bizarre love triangle of Clark/Lois/Superman.  And they often feature very WEIRD moments of characterization.

Take the "Giant" issue I posted a picture of.  One MAJOR highlight story for outright bizarreness involves "Lois Lane, The Hag".  It centers around a con man who claims to have found the fountain of youth, and various celebrities "attesting" to the legitimacy of the "fountain" claim.  But inexplicably the con men possess an aging formula to make the young elderly.  Lois gets splashed with this GENUINE formula, and is rapidly aged.  To the point where NO ONE recognizes her, because she used to be so "young and beautiful".  Oh, sure... It's one thing when Perry White can't recognize you, and thinks you're just the "new janitor" of the Daily Planet.  But it's another when Lana Lang realizes what happens to you, and sets up a surprise party to rub in YOUR face how "ancient" you've become, by putting the moves on Superman.  Sigh... But Lois awakens to find it was all a "dream", and she was just knocked unconscious.  Superman STILL has eyes for Lois... but will NOT grow attached to her in ANY romantic fashion... and the de-aging scheme is uncovered.  The Silver Age of Superman was just OVERFLOWING with human kindness.

In that same giant issue, we are also treated to a story that features Lois Lane being exposed to an intelligence-heightening machine, and becoming an "advanced intelligence" being.  You can tell because she has a GIGANTIC melon.  (Forget the fact that she just lacks hair and has a "five-head" instead of a forehead.  She STILL LOOKS AS LOVELY AS EVER!  But of course, that noggin... The picture of grotesquery...)  The solution isn't as easy in this story as it was for the previous example, because Lois has to wait for the effects of the intelligence increase to fade off.  But what she DOES learn is that Superman really didn't mind the change.  And to think she went out of her way to hide her dome MULTIPLE times to "avoid horrifying other people".  All I'm saying, Lois, is Karen Gillan shaved fully bald for her turn as Nebula in "Guardians of the Galaxy", and she was NOT any less attractive!

How about the time that Lois Lane turned into a horse, when a vengeful apprentice to Circe cursed Lois to spite his TRUE enemy... Comet the Super-Horse, who for certain lunar cycles, can transform back to his human form?  Or, during the course of this already existing insanity, Lois-Horse begins to fall for Comet the Super-Horse?  OR, how about the fact that in another title, Supergirl already started falling HARD for COMET... THE SUPER-HORSE THAT WOULD OCCASIONALLY TURN INTO A HUMAN?!?  Usually the Silver Age is regarded... especially for DC Comics... as a straight-laced and streamlined take on super heroes.  With tales like what Lois Lane dived into, it makes me wonder if maybe her creators weren't finding... let's just say "added inspiration".  Need further proof?  Let's tackle one of the most noted issues of "Lois Lane" to ever be published.

This particular has been often discussed at length... most recently in the PBS miniseries, "Superheroes".  This issue is definitely a case of "noble intentions", and it tried to tackle the issue of racism during the late 60's/early 70's.  But you also cannot shake the concept of this only being a temporary "gimmick" for Lois Lane.  Personally, this was a right step in the relevance direction for DC, but the issue would be tackled MUCH better in the coming Dennis O'Neil/Neal Adams "Green Lantern and Green Arrow" run.  But still, I'd venture that it may be the MOST reprinted issue of "Lois Lane", so it earned that touchstone.  (And for the record, to answer Lois' key question to Superman, Kal-El may have waffled the relationship-if-she-were-African American question, but I wouldn't have cared about skin color in the least.  I KNOW it wasn't a big deal for Clark, but still... Falling on the old "I can't start a relationship with ANYONE because of the danger they're put in being associated with me" excuse is L to the A to the M to the E.)

At least that previous issue was the beginning of DC handling relevant issues in a sensitive manner.  I give them credit for that.  But issues of race are weighty manners for the 1960's.  Talking about issues of WEIGHT... Well, according to comics, "Fat People Are Funny"!  Yes, there was a storyline where Lois was "cursed" with enhanced girth.  Ugh... If you're a person that's struggling with their weight, I would advise you to avoid this issue like the plague.  My description of the "Elderly Lois" story makes that aforementioned tale seems like a sensitive exploration of the elderly.  This particular story just takes the mick out of being "less than fit" for EVERY DROP.  Because Lois is "so miserable" being overweight, and the world she lives in just hates "fat people".  No.  Just no.  (And besides, curvy women are AWESOME!  Yes, this is public record!)

I don't know about you, but I think we need a breather from all this insanity.  How about, for tomorrow, we just relax and take a ride... In something... Hmm...