Ehhhh-X-Men

This will probably end up being a post that could stir some controversy, but I'm laying it out on the line, because it's a topic that came to me during my conversation brain-storming this past weekend.  I believe the seeds for this topic were essentially sown during my viewing of "X-Men: Days of Future Past".  I did enjoy the movie, but it didn't hit me in the "sweet spot" as much as... say... "Captain America: Winter Soldier".  It was after said movie, and some reading experiences as of late, that the growth of this idea started producing the ultimate fruit of my thoughts.

 Y'see, I came to the point where "Marvel's Merry Mutants" really don't fire me up as much as they used.  I don't want to misquote, but I BELIEVE that it was the "Irredeemable Shagg" on an episode of "Views from the Longbox" that said that we all have X-Men phases.  For me, my phase was absolutely during middle/high school.  I lived in the teenage years of X-Men influence!  We had the launch of the brand-new X books in the summer of 1992, the outpouring of new video games, and a cartoon series!  What more did an angst-fuelled teenager need than a team that were outcasts of society in their own right?  ... But just like any angry young music act cannot maintain such frustration for years on end, so could I outgrow my teenage angst, and in the years, I found many chinks in the X-Armor to my perceptions:

• WAY too many characters
• WAY too many teams
• WAY too many crossovers
• Too LITTLE interaction with the Marvel Universe as a whole
• Characters than invite separatism by bemoaning their "mutant" status near constantly elicit little sympathy for me

That being said, I wanted to offer my thoughts on two classes of X-Men; the underrated and overrated.  The members that, I feel, could thrive if they received an invitation to the mainstream Marvel universe to play.  And the members that need to be scaled back, because I'm starting to grow rather tired of their elevated roles.  Since I want to end this article on a positive spin, I'll begin by sounding the retirement gong on those Muties that have grown too big for their britches.

Cyclops: Some could say he's the "heart and soul" of the X-Men.  There from the start, and... to a degree... still an important figure to Charles Xavier's dream.  I could say that ever since "A VS X", he's been led down the path of being an insufferable jerk, making even Magneto in his most villainous moments look rather docile.  But if you think about it, Scott Summers hasn't really been all that "awesome" a person in his fictional life.  A stick-in-the-mud teenager, a deadbeat dad to his separated wife, (One could make the argument that a marriage involving the clone of your deceased lover is totally binding, but still...), and now an extremist Mutant revolutionary.  Would it REALLY have been so bad if Cykes joined Jean Grey in the Phoenix-y afterlife at the conclusion of "A VS X", just so we could've had a few years without "Slim" Summers being a pain in the butt?

Wolverine: A lot of people have much love for the Canucklehead, but even as early as the 90's for me, the overexposure of the character was beginning to chip away any goodwill I had for him.  Couple that with the fact that he apparently HAS to figure into every Marvel team book... X-Men, Avengers, Fantastic Four... probably at one point the Invaders, or even Power Pack... and I just would rather him be strictly in the Mutant leagues.  But one thing that has really irked me about the "Best At What He Does" is that his powers have grown so bloody amplified in recent years!  Back in my favorite periods of the X-Men, sure... Logan could take some abuse, but he wasn't able to wholly regenerate limbs, or reassemble himself so quickly after intense body burns.  He has a healing factor; not an invulnerability clause!

Now for those members I'd really want to see make a more positive impact in the Marvel Universe:                                                                                                                                                                         

Colossus: If there's one thing that "X-Men: Days of Future Past" illustrated to me, it's this; writers have a hard time figuring out what to do with Peter Rasputin.  And I'm not just talking Hollywood.  Last I ran into the mutated Man of Steel, he was in possession of the Jewel of Cytorak... AKA Juggernaut's bling... and that made an already mopey character all that much more down in the dumps.  Yes, I realize Peter was a product of Soviet-Era Russia, and has generally been characterized as a more introverted character... who happened to form romantic relationships with girls MUCH younger than himself... but if they were to pull Colossus out of his character shell, give him an Avengers membership, maybe that could open the character up to new possibilities.  Besides, for years he's been a character that has a great combination of visual aesthetic and power-set!  He deserves better than being the metallic navel-gazer of the X-Men!

Storm: C'mon... She LED the X-Men through a majority of the 80's, one of the roughest patches the team went through.  Ororo has been a rock in the X-Men foundation... Probably a more reliable one than even all of the original five members!  Sure, she was given a chance to expand her influence with a relationship with Wakandan royality, Black Panther, but like Colossus, since there at least 20 Avengers teams in the Marvel Universe, Storm has surely won a membership nomination 50 times over!  She's tough... yet sensitive, has a power set that puts her in the class of Thor in terms of weather manipulation, and I still believe she holds rank as one of the most influential African female characters in fictional history.  If that's not worth a pass to the "Big Leagues", I obviously have zilch clue!

Single Issue Bliss

Occasionally I'll write an entry about a single comic issue that I found you can read without having ANY previous knowledge of continuity, and still gain a satisfactory experience with.  ... The only minus about that plan is that pretty much any comic from the last 10 or so years is automatically excluded from that category.  (We live in trade paperback times, my friends.  Bleh.)  So these books will be on the "older" side of things, but I will promise you that you can find my featured issues relatively easy, and without breaking your bank account to find them!  Because one positive thing about the times we live in: online auction sites are our friends.  So without further pause, let's discuss today's anniversary SPECTACULARRR!

"World's Finest #271" was a break from the normal "Dollar Comics" formula of presenting the reader with an anthology of stories of different characters.  To mark 200 issues of the Superman/Batman team, Roy Thomas crafted a double-sized bash that not only told a brand new tale, BUT also crammed... Every. Single... origin story of the World's Finest team into one narrative.  As if that wasn't a treat enough, you get some killer artwork Rich Buckler for the occasion!  So... what tale could justify such a rich history, double the length, and the participation of a blazing star of an artist?

Superman keeps having nightmares about a guy he supposedly never met called Atoman, who can shoot Kryptonite rays from his hands.  Stirring from his troubled sleep, he turns on the tube, and finds a news report about a fire in Gotham City, with Batman on site to lend assistance.  Of course, Supes being who he is, decides that while Batman is rather gallant, Superman is actually rather useful in a fire situation.  (What I wouldn't have given for Clark's television's first broadcast to be an episode of USA's "Up All Night".  He could've caught "Student Bodies"!)  Fire fought, the collected duo, and firemen, discover a metal coffin under the fire site, bearing the Atoman symbol on the lid.  Coffin explodes, Atoman awakes, and in the words of the People's Champ, the Rock, he layeths the smackdown on Batman and Superman.  While recovering, they basically try to put together the pieces of what just happened, and how it ties into their team-up past.  Because while Superman knows no Atoman, his costume looks a LOT like a robot fake-out he made to ward off Batman and Robin from a case called Power-Man.  (Luke Cage should've nipped that in the bud...)

The weird thing about Atoman is he keeps referring to landmarks that would exist in the 40's, and that he insists he and Superman fought during World War 2.  (I smell Earth 2 involvement...)  But to cut to the heart of the matter, after a lot of history is recounted for us readers, and for our heroes put together the pieces, Atoman makes a public challenge to Superman to duke it out in an arena... TO THE DEATH.  Oh yeah... and if the "Boy Scout" doesn't agree to the fight, Metropolis is screwed.  Royally.  This all leads to the big duke-a-roo, and to avoid spoilers too much, I'll just say remember my other Earth tease, and you can see how this conflict shapes up, and how it ties to Atoman's memories.  (Oh, before I forget, Atoman also is a Nazi, so we get our standard comic book German speak for his dialogues!  If it weren't for comic books, I would never have learned the German I know that would probably be bound to get my butt kicked if I were to ever converse with the citizenry of that nation.)

I think for this approach to the issue, I'll tackle the pros and cons on a bullet point basis.  And to be fair... and not completely DC-biased... I'll showcase the cons, first:

• This comic is DENSE.  It's thick with about 40-years of team up history, and Roy Thomas is not shy about word usage.  So if you're not aware, even being a comic book reader "pro", you may be reading this issue at about double the time you would a normal comic of any era.
• Speaking of the flashbacks, I could say that they do overwhelm the story.  I should have taken an actual count of page ratios dedicated to current-time material to the flashback material.  So the current time story does play backseat driver to the story.
• One REAL big gripe I have, especially with the thick history of the book, is that the fight sequences feel the pinch!  With such a dynamic artist like Buckler, we could've seen a hell of a showdown between the World's Finest team and Atoman, but it feels like in certain sequences, we only get smatterings of a greater conflict.
• And who the hell decided to stick Steve Lombard in my World's Finest issue?  Grr!  Jerk!

But now for the positives!

• This comic is DENSE.  I know I mentioned that as a "con", but there are times where I really want my comic reading experience to last more than 10 minutes.  And in today's world where books are dialogued so lightly, and it feels like 14 pages out of a 20 page book are devoted to entire page splashes, I find comfort in a weighty read.
• Roy Thomas, for all his flashbacking, DID manage to tie in all of the then-current origin stories of the World's Finest team together in a chronological fashion that makes sense.  He even managed to include the radio show origin of the team-up!
• Atoman does provide a genuine threat to our team.  He isn't just some one-off "jobber" showing up for the anniversary; the character is revealed to have some ties to multiple versions of Superman's history.  And he can't be brushed off so easily by just beating the tar out of him.  If it wasn't for a handy trick Superman figures out towards the end of the story, I imagine things could've gone a lot more disappointingly for our heroes.
• Did I mention the artwork, yet?  Rich Buckler is one of my absolute favorite Bronze Age artists.  And you get a whole super-sized issue of his stuff!  The only way this book could have been more divine was if either Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez or George Perez provided the artwork.  But with Buckler, you still cannot fail.

Equal amounts pros and cons, I know, but my pros are FAR more impassioned than my cons, which are probably more nitpicks than anything else.  So I highly recommend to the blog readers; if you enjoy a solid DC story featuring Superman and Batman... together in ONE TALE... you should see to treating yourself to a solid single issue sense of bliss with "World's Finest #271"! 

(And also admire the back-cover's "Daily Planet" feature talking about upcoming titles.  Man... a "Superman" tabloid, and the first issue of "All-Star Squadron"...  Sweet times!)

You REALLY Want To Talk About "Jokers", Batman?

Today's blog will actually be a shorter than normal one... and technically it could have been a "Friday 'Funnies' Foolishness" entry, but after finishing this particular two-parter, I HAD to expand my thoughts about a certain character in an individual posting.  Now I admit, I've not exactly been terribly charitable to Marvel Comics for my postings, thus far.  But today proves that even a more DC-centric person like myself can still find things to nitpick in my favored universe.  Case in point: "Batman #289-290", and a "delightful" villain known as Cosmo "Skull" Dugger.  ... Yes, you read that name, correctly.

Batman's rogue gallery may be one of the most iconic gatherings of villains in comic history: The Joker, The Penguin, Two-Face, Catwoman, Bane, Killer Croc, Mr. Freeze... etc.  But for every iconic villain Batman squares off against, we also have occasional two-time losers... like today's entry.  You see, Cosmo Dugger suffers from a condition known as anhedonia, the inability to experience joy.  (And if you looked like the love child of Charles Xavier and Thaddeus Sivana, you might not be overflowing with joy, either.)  So this drives Cosmo to the heinous drive of creating a device that literally robs people of joy, used in the moment where the victim experiences the apex of joy.  The device is shot at the victim's forehead, and after having suffered heart attack-like symptoms, they are left deceased with a skull mark on their forehead.  Cosmo later takes the stolen sense of joy, and sips at it like fine wine.  Hmm... a person that essentially works as a joy vampire... You know, I think I've had a few ex-girlfriends like that. 

 Aside from wanting to prevent further murders, Batman himself suffers the effects of the joy-robbing ray, which does not kill him... because this is Batman's book, and he can't be destroyed in such a pathetic fashion... but it leaves him near paralyzed, every movement Batman commits in the goal of fighting crime causing him intense pain.  ... Which implies that swinging around from crime scene to crime scene, and causing physical pain on people who are admittedly committing terrible deeds, brings Batman joy.  Normally an average schmoe like the rest of us would be placed in psychiatric care for voicing such thoughts... Anyhow, the way Batman gets around all this to ultimately put a stop to Cosmo's crime spree is he tricks another lame villain, Dr. Tzin Tzin, to grant him one hour of physical immunity to anything, so that the Doctor can be released from prison.  Having been freed from his physical pain, Batman then confronts Skull Dugger, who after a lab-thrashing battle, writes his own fate by electrocuting himself against his broken joy storage/release unit.  But the most annoying thing of this entire story is... Yes, Batman does discover the whys of how these people are dying, but the skull-mark?  That remains an unsolved mystery NO ONE decides to look into, after Skull Dugger meets his maker. 

This story DOES have some decent points, though.  As is the case for most Bronze Age Batman stories, they do have some great action sequences, and this period does mostly feature the Batman I personally enjoy the most.  He's determined, but not obsessed, in his Batman persona, and can even make time to crack a small joke every now and then.  And the artwork in these two issues, EXCELLENT.  Mike Grell put in some great touches on the Dark Knight Detective, and I would've loved to see him have an extended run on some Batman adventures.  This is also despite the fact that his work is inked by the killer of generally great artwork, Vince Colletta.  But what did this two-parter teach me?  Not even Batman is spared from having some general losers in his life... and that if Skull Dugger really wanted to be efficient in his joy thievery, he should have become a producer of Adam Sandler movies.  Wakka-wakka!

Friday "Funnies" Foolishness... TO THE EXTREME!!!

We begin today's entry by dusting off our Doctor Doom Time Platform, our destination the summer of 1992.  You see, around that time I was generally pumped about ANYTHING Batman-related, due to the fires being rekindled by "Batman Returns" theater debut.  But one visit with a then-group of friends... and I say "then", because they were really a couple of jerks... served as a living info-mercial for an upstart comic company.  A company that featured some of the HOTTEST names Marvel had on their titles for the very late 80's to the early 90's, and if I joined them in buying a set of this company's books for the coupons to purchase a zero issue for the company, I'd not regret it.  In case you just weren't around that time, or just weren't paying attention, the company I speak of is Image Comics.

If I remember right, I can still quote some of those coupon books off the top of my head:

• "Spawn #4"
• "WildC.A.T.s #2"
• "Brigade #2"
• "Youngblood #0"

If I'm forgetting any titles, I'll kick myself for it, later.  OR feel free to correct me!  But it's odd that, at the time, I did enjoy Todd McFarlane and Jim Lee's output... BUT those books that sprung from the bizarro mind of Rob Liefeld were those that stuck with me most vividly.  What can I say?  I was a budding teenager, his creative sense played into what was "cool" as a teenager, and I can still say that his art... while not really "quality"... is certainly vivid.  I'd say for about 3-4 years straight, I was a devotee to the Extreme Comics imprint of Image.  ... Which was almost a Don Quixote level of insanity, due to hardly ANY books from Image, regardless of what imprint you followed, ever coming out on a monthly schedule.  For today's Friday Foolishness, I bring you five examples of some of my Extreme insanity.  Wait... that's supposed to be in all caps: "Some of my EXTREME INSANITYYYYY!".  In no particular order:

1. "Brigade #0"

Some people may consider zero issues to be a stroke of insanity.  I then tell them try to figure out Marvel's .1 issues.  But this issue of Brigade served as a semi-coherent bridge between the initial mini-series and the planned ongoing series.  It showcased up and coming characters like the ninjette Lethal, and the spitting image of Rob Liefeld himself, Boone, who was a dual-pistol wielding assassin with ATTITUDE!  If you notice that Jeff Matsuda's artwork rather resembles Liefeld's work... get used to that sensation with nearly all of my entries.  Details I remember about this book are a vain attempt to wedge Jacob Marlowe from "WildC.A.T.s" into the plot... because this was around the time that the Image Universe was still in a crossover mentality, there was a battle with glowing ninjas, and then another battle with Youngblood.  Because heroes fighting heroes never gets old.  And a lot of teeth-gritted tough characterization.  It's unusual that I do NOT remember any of this issue leading into direct crossover into the upcoming Brigade/Bloodstrike crossover event.  Maybe this came out afterwards, or in-between?

2. "Youngblood Yearbook #1" AKA May as well have called this a one-shot

Professors and scholars have debated long and hard about what team of Youngblood was the "superior" brand: the Home team or the Away team.  Well, the Away team had a chance to shine in this "Yearbook", which is what Image and Valiant comics called their "Annuals".  (And... huge shock... most of their titles only HAD one Yearbook.  Remind me to talk about my general love of Annuals, though, some future article...)  Many key elements hit me for this issue, such as most of the book being made up of fold-out page spreads.  If the 4 page spreads were pared down to single pages, I'd say this would probably average out to a 22 page story... at most.  And what a story!  Because if you're going to rip off Marvel's characters, you may as well rip off their settings too, with a BLATANT Savage Land riff being featured... only with cyborg barbarians.  ... And no, cybernetically enhancing barbarians does not make them any more appealing in a very clumsy story.  I will give this book one positive: Chap Yaep did actually develop as more of an artist after this Yearbook.  I wonder whatever happened to him...

3. "Prophet #5"

Does anyone remember when Stephen Platt was THE hot artist?  How after only 3-4 issues on "Moon Knight", before it was canned, he was blazing?  And how his coming to the semi Captain America rip-off title "Prophet" was a HUGE DEAL?  I admit, his artwork is a bit of a mess, but it is an INSANELY detailed mess.  I even remember a Wizard Magazine contest involving a counting game for a poster he illustrated for the magazine; if you could guess the exact number of bullet shells on the poster, you won the original artwork.  As for the story, this was when the character was being slowly removed from his World War 2 creation story, and it was insinuated John Prophet was in existence a wee bit longer than that.  And that in the Vietnam War, such an insanely religious character did some rather unreligious things.  (I don't think there was anything in the Bible about tying a platoon of dead bodies around your massive frame to disguise yourself for an innocent village slaughter, even killing a pregnant woman.)  This leads to a 3 issue manhunt for a berserk Prophet by his longtime buddy Kirby... guess who he was modelled after... and some androids. 

4. "Bloodstrike #5"

... Speaking of not nice things...  To this moment, I still reflect on this single issue of Bloodstrike to be the most gratuitously violent superhero comic published at this time.  For a quick background for those not familiar with Bloodstrike: did you ever seen "Universal Soldier"?  Take that concept, make the UniSols super-powered, and there you go!  In this issue, there's a mercurial mystery involving the less-than-subtle Wolverine swap, Deadlock.  Then later, Cabbot... really, our lead character's named Cabbot?... and his squad stem off a complex invasion by the Superman "with an attitude" swipe, Supreme.  What follows is more red-stuff and viscera than your average Lucio Fulci film.  Our team is reduced to so much tripe by Supreme, leaving the status of the team rather in question.  It also left a really odd memory in my reading history.

5. "Youngblood #6"

Ah... The launch pad of Extreme Studios.  I believe this issue came out after a 2-year gap of direct artistic involvement by Rob Liefeld.  The hype for the issue would've led you to believe that this was the start of a monthly release for the book... by Rob Liefeld.  Say it with me: HAHAHAHA!!!  Seriously, that's pretty hilarious.  But for this "new era" of Youngblood, we picked up new members for the Home and Away teams, along with new costumes.  Who were these stellar new members?  A Wolverine and Puck mish-mash called Troll, and a not-at-all-hidden riff on Gambit called Knightstrike.  We also got a brief fight with some terrorists to highlight our new members' abilities.  I will give Liefeld the credit for having improved his artwork somewhat between the mini-series and this "ongoing" series.  But as with most every project involved with Extreme Studios, ongoing was about as realistic a concept as cyborg barbarian pigs with wings.

And I didn't blow my wad on the Extreme Studios thoughts, because there's more to come in due time.  Oh yes... an EXTREME amount of more!

Domo Arigato, Mr. A.I. Enhanced Roboto

I begin my blog with a few brief asides, before I go on to the topic at hand.  (And, indirectly, today's entry COULD count as a "Jack-Off of all Trades" entry.  But I really wanted to expand my thoughts over more than just one book.)  I promise it won't take too long!

First, I do apologize if today's blog will come off as maybe a bit "unfocused".  I've had about two days in a row where essentially great prospects were shot down for me, and my sleep reflected that stress.  So, I'm still writing this entry, but if I tangent a lot... or make the Grammar Police put out an APB on me, my apologies.

Second, today's entry wouldn't even be possible if it weren't for the public library!  Seriously, people... I cannot implore you all enough to support your local libraries!  Not only do they provide me with a near daily diversion... and sometimes writing hub... but they are an EXCELLENT resource to try out materials you normally couldn't afford on your own.  Reading is wonderful, mixed media availability is wonderful, and internet access is wonderful.  Do the math, and that makes libraries WONDERFUL.

Third, I also have the library access to thank for gaining access to a recently finished book I've read through.  It was Sean Howe's "Marvel Comics: The Untold Story" that I chomped through.

In a way, while I feel excellent for having committed myself to an actual prose book, and enjoyed many of the details Howe gave about periods of Marvel's history, I think it's really not a book I would revisit all too often.  That is NOT a knock on Howe's writing, or ability.  I'd even nominate him to perform a similar treatment to any other major comics publisher!  But... I guess I'm just disheartened that a company I've always associated with "free-wheeling fun and creativity", even in the early days, was really not very different from a typical office scenario.  People didn't get along with people... QUITE often.  The entire section on the 90's period was just like watching a basket of puppies and kittens being slowly ran over by a semi-truck, it was that uncomfortable.  But if you're morbidly curious about what goes into the background of a comic publishing company, I would highly recommend Sean Howe's book. 

Now, back to the subject of library materials.  I actually have the library to thank for my exposure to more recent comic collections.  In between having a steady job... around the time ALL comics were being priced at basically $4.00 an issue..., to just being on the hunt and not having a lot of room for disposable income, library comic collections are basically how I stay relatively current.  One recent read-through that incited today's entry was this:

For the record, this was the bare-bones trade paperback collection of "Age of Ultron".  Issues 1-10, with "Avengers #12.1", only.  Eh... as a whole, I didn't hate the story, but I REALLY wondered why this was promoted so heavily as an "event", when it just boiled down to a long "What If?" story.  Heck, it probably could've been trimmed to a two-issue "What If?" storyline, it the "writing for the trade" mentality didn't exist!  I'd like to illustrate the salient points I took from this book:

• Hank Pym is basically going to be a jerk, no matter what reality he exists in.
• Alternate realities still seem to favor Wolverine being the major star of a story.
• Bryan Hitch seemingly is unable to do anything more than a 5-6 issue stretch of artwork.

But the major thing I walked away from this reading experience is this; for a storyline supposedly featuring Ultron as the main threat, the individual AI-based threat of Ultron REALLY didn't get a lot of individual story time.  And that made me think about where Ultron really fits into the comic book Avengers threat level.  Let's do the time warp, again!

For those not in the loop, Ultron began "life" as an AI program developed by Henry Pym to serve as somewhat of a lab assistant.  But Ultron became rapidly self-aware, and realized he really hated "daddy" and humanity as a whole, and would pop up periodically to threaten the Avengers... or sometimes other heroes in the Marvel universe.  (I know for a fact Ultron did figure into a two-part Daredevil story I once read a few years back.)  I'm actually surprised that Ultron didn't square off more against Wolverine, because I have the impression that it was stated Ultron's physical form was made of Adamantium.  Maybe that would've proven to be too much of a battle "stalemate"?  But while Ultron's motivations are pretty simple, they are REFRESHINGLY simple in comparison to their other semi-regular threat of Kang the Conqueror. 

Two of my favorite Ultron moments involved an "Avengers" storyline where he attempted to create for himself a mate to rule with him above us lowly "meatbags".  But in order to give his "bride", Jacosta, a "soul", he had to kidnap Janet Van Dyne... AKA the Wasp... and transfer her life-essence into Jacosta.  I guess if Ultron couldn't kill "dad", then kinda starting a relationship with "dad's" then-wife was another solid form of vengeance.

The second major highlight for my Ultron experiences came in the nigh-perfect Busiek/Perez relaunch of "The Avengers" in the late 90's.  Ultron not only rose again for another bout... and I should mention that nearly every time Ultron returned for a story, it was with a subsequent numbering after his name.  So, you could technically say you beat Ultron 23, but had lousy luck against Ultron 31.  But anyways, not only did Ultron decide to square off against the Avengers one more time, he did something that he had not done up until this publishing point: destroyed an entire nation.  Slorenia ends up crushed by Ultron, and then the bad robot uses the nations' dead as rough-shod cyborg soldiers against the Avengers!  Now THIS was a machine with a major backbone!

As a whole, I have to say that I do regard Ultron as a certifiable return threat to the Avengers, but sometimes his returns can prove to be... odd.  (Look at "West Coast Avengers" for a prime example of those repeats.)  So he's not necessarily a villain I dread to see showing up in a storyline, but there are times where I feel like the character doesn't get his 100% due.  We can only hope for the best for Ultron to come, since he will star in the next cinematic "Avengers" endeavor, voiced by James Spader nonetheless!

One more final thought about "Age of Ultron", though.  The last double-page spread did confirm a fact I've already known about a "new" character in the Marvel universe.  And I still find myself asking... why?

Sigh... Good for Neil Gaiman for getting ownership of Angela, but I can't say I was itching to see her, apparently, being tied into Thor's background.  But we'll talk more about Image dealings... Actually, tomorrow!

Scramble Eggs Orion

One of the easiest things to do to rile up a comic book fan is to make changes to a character they've followed for YEARS.  Be it origin, characterization... or ESPECIALLY costume, any of those altered factors could potentially fan the flames of fandom.  But the thing about comic creations is they are constantly in a state of periodical creative flux.  Even characters that seemingly are unaltered for years undergo subtle changes: Hell, I bet people sometimes even forget that not even Superman could fly for the first few years of his creative existence, and that Batman carried a gun for a brief stretch of time.  However, one character that has seemingly gone through a few changes without much... if ANY... controversy is getting his spot in the sun, today.  ... And I'm not just talking about the changes that come from Mother Box alteration!

I won't go overlong into the development of Jack Kirby's "Fourth World" genesis at DC in the 70's.  All you need to know was that while... out of all the books, "Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen" led the charge... "New Gods" was probably the core of the mythology Kirby built.  And it introduced the world to Darkseid's bouncing baby boy (Spoilers?) Orion.  Adopted as a peace pact between Darkseid's stomping grounds, Apokolips, and New Genesis, Orion struggled with his innate war-like roots and all the hippie-dippy peace-mongering of Highfather.  For the most part, Orion's initial appearance has remained the constant.

Even when switches were made to his style, it seems like destiny usually carries him back to the blue gloves, trunks, and boots... matched with a red jumpsuit and BANGING helmet.  However, when Jack Kirby departed his creation, DC had different designs for Darkseid's sonny boy...

The relaunch of the New Gods title, and mythology, for the very late 70's into the early 80's, brought us this eyesore of an outfit for Orion.  Sure, it's more "super-heroic", with its emphasis on primary colors, and removal of armored elements.  And on the renewed "New Gods" title... and its continuation into the Dollar Comics version of "Adventure Comics", the story was graced with EXCELLENT artwork by the late Don Newton.  ... But there's no getting around the fact that Orion looked like a goober in his new threads.  Hell, at this point in his career, he was little more than a recolored Lightray with an attitude!  It would probably be like if you took Wolverine, and made his costume day-glo pink and green.  But the mid-80's, and marketing, brought on another change for Orion...

Many of you know my fixation on "Masters of the Universe".  So, lemme introduce you to the "Man-E-Faces" version of Orion.  Ugh...  To be fair, this WAS redesigned by Jack Kirby, which I sure the Kenner toy deal did help him rake in money for his creations.  But to also be fair, giving Orion a helmet that more resembles a surgical neck brace... Not so hot.  Little wonder this appearance only made it to the toy shelves, and the third DC "Super Powers" comic mini-series.  Which, coincidentally, was the worst mini-series of the three.  Remind me to write something about that at a latter date, and how it attempted to "validate" such characters as Golden Pharoh an Cyclotron.  Ha.  Ha.

But going back to the initial 80's DC "Crisis", Orion was returned to his classic look, and stayed that way... even up to his... "death"?... in the general lead-up to "Final Crisis".  But one VERY positive thing about the "New 52" status quo at DC was that Brian Azzarello and Cliff Chiang brought the character back in "Wonder Woman".  (Yes, I will give due props to Azzarello's work on "Wonder Woman".  It's that good of a book.)

Yes, there are still differences to the costume design, but as a whole, the essence of the classic Orion still exists in the character.  And they kept the HELMET!  Thus proving that DC can keep reshaking and rebooting their universe more than a person with a virus-infected computer, but no matter how things keep changing, some elements come right back around to being the same.

You Can Take This Co-Worker, and Shove Him... Off a Very High Cliff

Before I begin my entry in earnest, I'll only have a bit of real life to sort of vent about, and a side reading recommendation.  So, let's get "real":

As of late, anxiety seems to be my general status, worrying about all the employment applications I send out, whether they'll actually result in an interview, whether an interview will lead to actual employment... I cannot state this enough; if it weren't for this creative endeavor, my family/friends/loved ones, and my continued interest to keep on reading those "cawmick books", I'd probably be so far gone in my neuroses in making ends meet, I'd probably tear through strait-jackets like the Kool-Aid Man does brick establishments.  So, I'll see to keep on trying, and hopefully any good vibrations sent my way would be greatly appreciated. 

Now on to the quick reading recommend!

I picked this up from the library at random, because the Sci-Fi premise looked rather interesting, and I'm all about Doug Braithwaite's artwork.  (He did have a very unique style during my early introductions to his work through runs on "The Punisher", but in recent years, I'd dare say he's one of the best current working artists in the medium.)  All I can say is PLEASE bring on the next trade collection, because this reading experience was totally worth it.  If you appreciate unique takes on the "Frontier Planet" angle, mysterious alien races and their secrets, and corporate conspiracies... with awesome characters that you can get behind, I highly recommend you try out the first graphic novel.  Now, on to today's actual subject.

Going back to my employment situation, I've often tried thinking about worst-case situations that at least I'm currently spared.  And it's through my reading of Bronze Age Superman stories that one immediately springs to mind:  I may not actively be employed, but at LEAST I'm not currently employed... and have to deal with someone on a daily basis that Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Lana Lang, just about anyone at WGBS... and even us unlucky readers... had to endure.  Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the dread personage of Steve Lombard.

Steve Lombard first showed up in "Superman #264", whereupon he was a former football player irradiated by energies that created a "phantom" Steve that resumed his football career.  Steve took credit for the phantom's achievements, and the phantom went on a rampage that Superman had to put a stop to.  Being found out as a fraud, Steve issued a public apology on WGBS, and since then owner Morgan Edge took pity on Stevie, he landed a job as the station's sports anchorman.

What followed was about a dozen years of torment for Steve's co-workers... especially Clark Kent... and those that bought Superman comics off the racks.  Y'see, Steve was your stereotypical full-of-himself jock archetype that reveled in coming on to anyone at WGBS that wore a skirt and had long hair.  (Which now makes me wonder what would've happened if Divine happened to visit the studio...)  So, whenever he appeared, you usually had a stretch where he would brag about his physical prowess, speak INSANELY condescendingly to female staffers, or would fulfill his other primary comic role... playing at least one prank on "mild mannered" Clark Kent seemingly every issue.  Steve Lombard is the co-worker you LOATHE to deal with; full of himself, thinking he's the most funny and charismatic being on two feet, and loves to semi-bully the one person in the office that is generally efficient, but doesn't make many waves.  Even VERY near to the first DC Crisis point, there was an attempt to garner sympathy for Steve by having him lose his broadcasting job, and flounder from position to position.  But it's pretty darned hard to feel bad for someone that's acted like a royal schmuck for as long as we've known him.  Then, Crisis-time.  Steve Lombard was basically MIA up until around "Infinite Crisis".  Oh sure, he did pop up extremely sporadically in some "Superman" titles, but as a whole, he was a non-entity.  Which leads to his "rebooting".

When Steve came back, as a small favor, they toned down his "pick on Clark" character angle, but he was still an insufferable oaf.  The major changes were the ex-jock decided to grow a mustache, and... at the time... hit on a married woman in the personage of Lois Lane.  Thankfully Steve was not a constant character, but he did put in a lot more appearances between "Infinite Crisis" and the New 52 than he did during his Crisis holding pattern.

Apparently his obnoxiousness did not go unnoticed by the Warner Bros. media empire.  Not ONCE did Steve appear in any of the Christopher Reeve's "Superman" films, nor any of the successive cartoon or television series.  I believe his first animated appearance was either in "All Star Superman" or "Superman Unbound", and his thus ONLY live-action appearance was in the recent "Man of Steel".

So apparently, for all the weird decisions media executives make, they are apparently inclined to enough clarity to keep Steve Lombard as far away from the general public as possible. 

And what's my take on Steve Lombard as a character?  If he was used sparingly during his Bronze Age life, he could've just been an amusing meathead character to liven up the WGBS scenes.  But having him appear nearly EVERY SINGLE ISSUE of "Action Comics" and "Superman", up to his usual tricks... It really was like being in the office with this jerk, and there's nothing I would've liked to have done more than giving Human Resources about a full shifts time with reasons as to why he should be out on his butt, panhandling ASAP!

Never Work With Children or Animals...

Marvel's first family, the Fantastic Four, already started off differently from other super teams at the time, due to actually ACTING like a family.  ... Without the alcohol and uncomfortable silences at family gatherings...  BUT as time went on for the title, they added some truly unique elements that I wanted to write about for today's blog.  One is certainly more intimately connected to members of the FF, namely Sue and Reed Richards.  The other was more of an element of those genetic freaks... not of the Scott Steiner variety.. of Attilan, the Inhumans, that probably proved to be MORE popular than Black Bolt's royal family.

Franklin Richards was born into the world in "Fantastic Four Annual #6".  And what a birth it was, with Sue Richards cooped up in the hospital to give birth, while Reed, Ben Grimm, and Johnny Storm off in the Negative Zone battling Annihilus!  I may be incorrect, but I think Frankie holds the distinction of being the first child of a super-heroic marriage.  Aquaman and Mera may have beat Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman to the altar, but those Richards knew how to maximize their bedroom time!  Franklin also had some interesting abilities, due to his cosmic ray-infused parentage.  But... That ability is a bit of a "comic book cheat".

I do give Frankie credit for being the first child of ANY super-hero pairing, but the power to "alter reality" is infringing on the abilities of those somewhat annoying magical imp characters both companies are guilty of creating.  (If I ever get around to writing about Impossible Man, expect a blog that's full of wrath and venom...)  It was also due to those abilities of Franklin that... while it did earn him a membership in Power Pack... helped create the unfortunate "Heroes Reborn" reality after the effects of "Onslaught".  Another personal failing I attribute to Franklin... or at least his development... is that he is NEVER ALLOWED TO GROW UP.  This character has existed for over 30 years now, and I still don't think he's been given a chance to reach double-digits in years, naturally.  Oh sure, we DID have appearances from his time-traveling older self in various events, but remembering that detail means remembering "Fantastic Force"... and who wants to do that?  So it's not like I have a major beef against Franklin Richards, but to me, he's essentially a take-it-or-leave-it element of the FF that I'm really not anxious to read about.  Franklin lovers, though... please just respect that it's solely my opinion.

As for my next subject, we go from kids to dogs.  Or at least I THINK he's meant to be a dog...  He's sure as hell canine-esque in appearance.  Ladies and gentlemen... LOCKJAW!

Showing up in "Fantastic Four #45", he was part of the grand introduction of the Inhumans to the FF universe.  Thankfully, he doesn't have as detailed a history as Franklin, in that Lockjaw was the only dog to be exposed to the Terrigen mists, granting him the ability of teleportation.  But aside from that, he's just a gigantic puppy with a tuning fork on his forehead.  ... And I love him for that!

 

I'll be the first to admit in real life, while I'm not anti-dog, I am certainly more comfortable with cat care.  But every time Lockjaw shows up for a Marvel event, there is a smile that crosses my face.  I think it's just the simplicity of the character's concept, and the generally jovial appearance, that brings me much joy.  Forget the fact that Lockjaw is generally stuck with the morose Inhuman clan; you know you're going to get some otherworldly antics with his appearances... and a little bit of dog-based humor every. Single. TIME.

You Can Get Your Kicks 22,300 Miles Away From Route 66

I've been a bit Marvel-centric these past two posts, which is unusual, since even in my initial postings, I have outlined my slight inclinations towards the DC Universe.  (Again, excluding most of the New 52.  And also the uninspired animated features inspired by such "grand changes".  Lemme put it this way: if you can even screw up a Batman story in "Batman and Son", and mess with your prime company cash cow, maybe the current status quo isn't working as well as you'd like...)  As I have mentioned in the Teams episode of the suspended GGTMComics podcast, my absolute favorite comic book team is the Justice League of America.  Like all superhero teams, they all have their various iterations.  But at least up until the first Crisis... and the well-deservedly forgotten Detroit team era... while some JLA members shifted around, they did remain consistent.  And for a boy who grew up loving the "Super Friends" animated adventures, and was fascinated by the "Super Powers" figure line, it would stand to reason that even later in my collecting life, my JLA fond spot would be the so-called "Satellite Era" from about 1970-mid-80's.  (Because not even outer space wanted the "job squad" the Martian Manhunter was stuck with...  Only in Detroit...)

Wet.  Fart.  Noise. 

Now compare that to the general majesty of the Satellite Era League:

How can you beat this line-up?  Admittedly this picture is a bit off-representation: J'onn J'onzz was pretty much MIA for the most part, Firestorm was introduced to the team in the early 80's, I'm not seeing the Atom in that picture... along with Hawkwoman.  (Yes, she was a substitute member, since... nepotism wasn't allowed on the team.  Personally, I would've rather have chosen Shiera Hall to be part of the team over her wet-blanket of a husband Carter.  And that's not just because of the hotness of redheads...)  But you still have a lot of familiar touchstones: Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, and the Flash.  This team also gave us our first taste of "social crusader" Green Arrow... with a great goatee and better costume.

This team also gave us the Earth 1 introduction of Black Canary... and by proxy giving her those sonic cry powers!  I also associate this era for a few other grand highlights:

• Some of the best Justice Society of America crossover stories in the history of the team
• A near-consistent run by Dick Dillin as series artist... Who I feel doesn't get enough recognition as a solid contributor to the series' legacy
• A legitimate shift from the interchangeable personalities of the Gardner Fox written JLA to members having their own voices.  Maybe not always the most sensible... (Let's not talk about the time Batman had feelings for Black Canary, despite her being attached to Green Arrow for a brief string of stories)... but you couldn't mistake one character for another

That being said, I don't look at this period with completely rose-tinted glasses, and can recognize certain faults:

• Unless they were fighting the "big gun" villains for certain stories, a majority of their tales featured largely forgettable threats
• When Wonder Woman went through her de-powered phase for a stretch of time... yes, Black Canary was there to fill in the feminine gap of the team, and that just sounded TERRIBLE... a lot of the adventures were pretty much "sausage fests"
• As much as I enjoy Zatanna, her JLA tenure did her NO FAVORS for fashion.  Give me a top hat, alluring magician's costume, and fishnets over... Whatever the heck this is:
  
• Red Tornado... Ah... If there's one scapegoat I have for a lot of this period, it's directed towards "Reddy".  Basically, take the Vision, but give him serious competency hang-ups, a bit of a whining streak, and an apparent competition with Zatanna over who had the worst outfit, and you have a character that while I recognized his contributions to the team, he was FAR from my favorite member.
  

That all being said, I think this period of the JLA can be best described as occasionally goofy, but still very much GRANDIOSE.  This was the team that felt like it was the primary defense against any threat no single DC hero could tackle on its own.  Hell, another bonus of this period was that it was part of the 70's "100 Page" initiative, so in those issues, you got an original story, plus some neat JLA and JSA reprints for the page count!  And it was also in this period that we got one of the greatest anniversary issues ever written in comic-dom:

... But that's another story for another blog entry!

A Reading Rainbow... Or I'm Too Tired for an Focused Conversation

Before you ask, no... I do not own this book, nor have I read it, but considering I've not read enough parody comics, it might warrant some hunting time and attention.  Nope, this just came up as an image result for "Yawning Comic Book Characters" for today's post.  The nice thing about this blog is I believe that even if I have a day where I am just BONE-WEARY, I can still find an easy go-to for posting; talking about what I read.  So, I offer up to you people my lightening thoughts on three comics I digested, while slurping down a Starbucks Valencia Orange Refresher.  (Yes, I know I've NO RIGHT to be this tired on a Saturday, but when your girlfriend has to get up for work at about 4:30am, and you already had issues staying asleep at about 3:00am... It's shaping up to be a rough AM and PM for you, buddy!)

1. "Fantastic Four #20"- The "Heroes Return" series:

Sigh... Normally I really enjoy Chris Claremont as a writer.  Hell, I didn't even object to his including some of his own Claremont-esque concepts into the FF title, thus far.  But this issue... It's weird that I get the feeling that a lot happened in the story, but not much of it made a lot of sense, and it wasn't exactly entertaining.  It may be just because Claremont keeps introducing elements that I just don't care about.  Even the "shocking" appearance of another Richards child from the future didn't do much to stir my attention.  I think a key factor is the FF's main story deals with a group of villains in France called the Ruined that are busy reforming the city to their own designs.  Never heard of the Ruined?  That's because they aren't worth remembering.  But, at least for some small amusement, this comic did have Jean Reno show up as himself... as chief of French police.  Yep...

2. "Spider-Man #17"- The McFarlane created...and then ditched... adjective-less series from the 90's:

This is an odd bird of a book.  Then again, with Ann Nocenti writing it, would you expect any different?  It's odd in that Spidey dies in the book.  I mean literally, he dies saving a mother and her daughter from a Freon explosion.  It's also odd that this book features a massively powered-up Thanos... still courting Death... pretty much right after the "Infinity Gauntlet" wrapped up.  Er... Continuity?  It may be bias on my part, because unlike my previously stated goodwill towards Claremont, Nocenti doesn't really receive any of that.  I didn't like what she did on "Daredevil" when she was writing the title, and nothing since then has endeared me to her writing style.  So with this book, you get a bunch of philosophizing about death, human nature, sacrifice... and a random fight with Thanos.  Doesn't make a lot of sense?  You betcha!  At least the Rick Leonardi artwork looks pretty nice!

3. "Sub-Mariner #8"- Namor's first full-length solo series!

YEAH!  Now we're talking, baby!  "Rascally" Roy Thomas giving us a tale of Namor's past, how it ties into his then-present, and presenting an always-enjoyable slobber-knocker between two familiar dancing partners: Namor and Ben Grimm AKA The Even Lovin' Blue Eyed Idol O' Millions Thing!  John Buscema... for an artist that really didn't enjoy working on modern-day superhero books, he sure knew how to give the series he worked on such a great energy and spark!  I did like how the book did deal with the after-effects of Namor's battle with Senator-elect Paul Destine, and also provided a branch to his past that actually did reasonably interact with this issue's present.  (Though odd that I never know... beforehand... Namor had a love before the lovely Dorma entered his life.  And even though her name was Betty Dean, I kept wanting to call her Paula Deen.  Namor's the only living being that could endure that many recipes featuring whole sticks of butter...)  And as previously mentioned, the Thing and Namor tear up the town... and injure an obnoxious bystander Hippie!  What's not to love?!?